


The Protector

by Tigresse



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Sebastian Moran, Crimes & Criminals, Falling In Love, Fluff, Jim Has Issues, M/M, Multi, Psychopaths In Love, Rating: NC17, Rating: PG13, Sebastian Angst, Slash, Slow Build, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-12-03 10:48:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 88,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11530632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigresse/pseuds/Tigresse
Summary: Colonel Sebastian Augustus Moran thought he had settled down after a serious setback a little while ago. Then he meets someone who puts him in charge of one of the most dangerous, brilliant and unstable criminals in the world. Sebastian could have said no, but his childhood sentiments and a look at the picture of this man he is supposed to protect makes him say 'yes'. Will he regret it or will he win?The genius and gorgeous Jim Moriarty is the son and heir apparent of his equally brilliant but far wiser father James Moriarty Senior. But will thirty year old Jim accept being wet nursed by a handsome blond hulk of a sniper who is far inferior to him in intellect? Or will he find true love?





	1. Sebastian Meets his Godfather

**Author's Note:**

> James Moriarty Senior for me is the old man Moriarty from canon. He is present only in the beginning though. 
> 
> Characters might be a little OOC sometimes. Sherlock is mentioned mostly and makes a small appearance later. John is also just mentioned. This is predominantly Mormor and not Jimlock. Alternate Reality, hence some original characters have been included. Loads of angst, different ratings for different chapters, if violence or explicit scenes freaks you out, skip those chapters. I will put the warnings for each. 
> 
> Not new to writing or this fandom (lurked around for a long time) but this is my first story here. Not a great writer, not even a good one, just a story teller who likes to write fanfiction. Hope you enjoy the stories. Not Brit-picked. Some facts might be inaccurate but they are minor aspects of the fic and should not affect the storyline.
> 
> Special thanks to all the wonderful writers here who inspired me to finally step up and create an account and post! Cheers!

Prologue

 

Colonel Sebastian Moran was finally happy. 

After working in the army for over a decade and rising to a well-deserved position owing to his superior sniper and organizing skills, he had finally decided to return to civilian life and fulfil his other dream (besides being a military commander). He was now a published author and the chief of quality and compliance for a leading firm that manufactured firearms, both for the army as well as for civilians. He was thirty five, handsome, coveted highly by men and women, and had the money to lead a respectable life as well as to indulge in some extravagances. 

It hadn’t come easy to him. Not at all. He was born to a single mother, his father having died while he was still in his infancy, and raised with limited cash. Though he had studied at an expensive private school, he had been reminded every day about how he was the poorest kid there. His mother had to work two jobs to keep him there. But his talent, intelligence and perseverance had won and after getting his degree from Cambridge, he had enlisted with Her Majesty’s Services and won many honours and medals in the battlefield. The poorly and obscure teen with dreams in his bright blue eyes was now the man of the moment, a rugged and debonair six feet four inch mini-giant, with blond hair and a ripped body that was a network of pure muscle. 

His only regret was that his mum, who had developed a heart disease early on in life, hadn’t lived long enough to see him excel. She had died nearly eight years ago. 

“So Seb,” his best buddy, a journalist named Thomas Bright, said one day as they sat drinking at a pub following a hard day’s work, “Family, kids, settle down?” 

“It doesn’t have to follow in chronological order,” Sebastian grinned, “I might settle down without a wife and kids, maybe with a man.” 

“Okay, as a straight man I didn’t consider that, sorry. But have you found such a man?” 

“Not yet and I am in no great rush either.” 

“You hardly have a home life Seb. As a friend I worry sometimes, I mean it’s no fun going home to a nice apartment but have nobody waiting for you there. What about Zac?”

Zachary Ross was an American man in his late thirties. He worked in the publishing business and he and Sebastian had become quite close in the two years Seb had left the army and started his civilian life. Zac was the man who had helped the former sniper negotiate the six-book deal with his company. Two of those books had already been published with reasonable success and Seb had even flown to Chicago to meet Zac’s family over Christmas. 

“I am still….kind of…..” Seb said with a sheepish grin, tilting the flat of his hand to the right and left, as if trying to show he was swinging between decisions. 

“I get that….take your time,” Tom said, then he clutched at Sebastian’s hand and added, “I think someone is trying to get your attention buddy. Over there, by the doorway.” 

Sebastian turned his head and saw a nondescript man standing there, looking terribly out of place in a hip place like this. He was clad in a suit and tie and holding an expensive leather attaché case in his right hand and two cell phones on the left. The moment their eyes met, the man smiled an uneasy smile and stepped forward, narrowly avoiding a barmaid carrying at least six huge mugs of beer, and stuck his hand out to shake Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian shook the proffered hand but said nothing, assuming this was either one of his ‘fans’ who read his books or maybe a business associate he had forgotten. 

“My name is Peter Keegan, I am an attorney,” he said politely, but raising his voice so as to be heard above the loud music, “Mr Sebastian Augustus Moran I presume….sorry that would be Colonel Sebastian Moran.” 

“I am not too fond of military titles in civilian life,” Sebastian assured him, “Unless I am in one of the clubs frequented by serving or retired military men where rank and titles still prevail. You can call me Sebastian please.” 

“How are you Sebastian?” 

“Very well, and you?” 

“I am fine. Um….I wanted to talk to you, in private.” 

“Excuse me Mr. Keegan….” 

“Peter please.” 

“Yes sure. So Peter, do we know each other? If we don’t, then whatever you want to say you can say right here. This is one of my best buddies.” 

“I am afraid, it’s a matter of confidentiality and privacy for my client and it’s absolutely necessary that I talk to you alone,” Peter replied in a tone that left no room for negotiations, “I am by no means doubting the integrity and friendship of this gentleman here, but as a lawyer, I am bound by my duties. Could we step out for just a few minutes please. Or actually, this might take even longer.” 

A baffled Sebastian turned towards Tom who nodded and said, “I will be fine. Go on.” 

“Sorry,” Sebastian slid off the barstool, “For abandoning you half way through the evening.” 

But as he exited the pub with this ‘Peter’, he had no idea his life was going to change dramatically, drastically and forever. 

 

Chapter 1

Sebastian was brought to a mansion in one of the poshest areas of London, not too far from a royal residence and the opulent mansions of billionaires, celebrities and foreign dignitaries that resided in the city. It was a sprawling property with landscaped grounds and all the trappings of wealth that one would expect in an extremely wealthy household, including the mansion itself which was rather spectacular. /There must be at least fifty bedrooms in there/, Sebastian wondered, as the luxurious Mercedes S class glided smoothly under the portico. 

The interiors were all marble and Belgian glass and the best of Italian tiles and Persian rugs. The paintings on the walls and the chandeliers that hung from the roof were so breathtakingly spectacular that Sebastian had to force himself not to let his jaw drop. 

The retainers, led by a well-dressed butler and a stern looking housekeeper, went about their duties quietly as if the men walking past them were invisible. Sebastian tried to make eye contact with a few but none obliged. A well-trained lot and their master was certainly no ordinary millionaire, he had to be some really powerful or important man. “Peter I am a bit confused,” he said to the lawyer as they went past the foyer, the huge sitting room, a sweeping staircase and past several hallways, “You said your client is someone who knows me. I don’t think a man who owns such a place would have ever known me. That is next to impossible.” 

“Just a few more steps and my client will explain it all to you,” Peter said with a brief look at his face. 

Sebastian narrowed his eyes slightly, “I am armed. I don’t think playing a game with me is a wise idea.” 

“If you knew whose house you were in, you wouldn’t dream of making a threatening statement Sebastian.” 

“Oh well….” 

“Here we are.”

The master bedroom suite they entered consisted of an anteroom, the main bedroom, a sitting area that opened out into a large balcony, a huge walk in closet and an en-suite bathroom that was no doubt the size of a mini football field. But this time Sebastian’s eyes were not on the size of the room or the décor, but on the man who sat on the bed. He was a man in his early seventies, slender and tall, about six feet, with snow white hairs and a pair of piercing dark eyes. Combined with his hawk like nose and the wrinkled skin, he reminded Sebastian of a turkey buzzard. 

Looking into those eyes was vaguely unsettling. 

“Peter, Jonathan, you can both leave now.” 

Jonathan was a middle-aged man sitting on a chair next to the bed, holding an instrument to measure blood pressure. Sebastian understood he was this man’s private physician. The doctor and the lawyer left quietly while Sebastian stood there, unsure of what to do next. 

“My name is James Moriarty Sr,” the man spoke in a harsh but low voice, “I know who you are but you don’t know me. I didn’t think you’d remember since the last time I saw you, you were only two.” 

Sebastian was astounded. What would a man like this want with him and how did he even know his family? His mum had never spoken about a wealthy acquaintance such as this man. Moriarty seemed to have read his thoughts because he smiled knowingly as he wandered over to the other side of the room. There was a large bar there and the old man poured expensive Scotch into two glasses, generous amounts of it. He sauntered back and handed one to Seb before pointing to the chair recently vacated by the doctor. Sebastian said a polite ‘thank you’ and sat down, nursing the Scotch in his hands. Moriarty took another chair and a sip of his drink. 

“My name is James Moriarty, as I just told you, and I happen to be the king of the underworld. People call me a criminal mastermind, which means I am part of organized crime. I have many businesses which are absolutely legitimate and all the money I show to the taxman has been earned through completely legally acceptable means. In other words, people do the dirty job for me and I only protect them from behind a wall, using my considerable powers. Hardly anyone knows me by name or the details of what I do.”

“Do you have a job for me?” Sebastian had still not taken a sip of his Scotch, “I am not someone who displays moral superiority so if there is something, I can do it for you, for a fair price. Otherwise I don’t see a point why I should know the closely guarded secrets of an obviously powerful and hugely wealthy man.” 

“That’s why you must know, that I share such information only with a privileged few.” 

“Well, okay, I am flattered. But why me? What’s the reason behind my privileged status?” 

“There is.” 

Moriarty took out a photograph from the nightstand drawer and handed it to Sebastian. The blond man’s eyes went wide, “But but….this is….this is me as a child….in your lap….with my dad next to you.” 

“I am your Godfather Sebastian and your father, Henry Charles Moran, was my next in command and my best friend and bodyguard.” 

Sebastian gaped at the man. He was just six months old then. A few months before his father had been killed in an accident. 

“Drink your Scotch colonel,” Moriarty was grinning slightly at his baffled expression, “Right now it seems you need it.” 

***

Sebastian was on his second Scotch by the time Moriarty had started his story. Initially he was too dazed to understand, but considering his remarkably steely nerves and iron will, he recovered quickly from the shock discovery of his Godfather and the story of his father’s life. 

Especially the story of his father’s life. 

“He and I knew each other from University,” Moriarty said as he walked around the room with his drink, his vulpine face a symbol of longstanding grit, courage and darkness, “He was a junior by two odd years but we took an instant liking towards each other. We were bosom buddies, friends in every possible sense of the term, and when he finished his education and joined the army, much like you did, I went on to shape my life in the direction I had deemed it for. I was not interested in being one of the teeming millions who walked this city’s roads and pavements, nor one of those hypocrites who ordered assassinations wearing a suit and tie and over a phone call. Everyone lives a life of crime but only a few choose to make it into a profession. I was one of those men.” 

He refilled his glass, “By the time he came back into my life, just for a drink, he was a decorated officer and back in the country to meet his fiancée, your mother. I was also courting a woman and intended to marry her. When he enquired about my profession and I offered to let him work for me, he agreed far more easily than I thought he would. I had perhaps underestimated his devotion towards me. I still remember what he said to me that evening, clearly.” 

“What did he say?” Sebastian was stoic. This was the first time he was hearing about his dad from someone other than his mum. 

“I will always walk the ends of the earth for you. If my body could shield you from a bullet, I’d gladly do.” 

Seb felt goose bumps rise to his flesh. Somehow he felt proud of his father. A man capable of so much devotion to someone he believed in, that had to be respected. For some reason he felt no aversion towards his father’s criminal past, not even one bit. 

“Your mother knew nothing about his new profession,” Moriarty continued, “Just that he was changing jobs so he could give her a better life. She didn’t know for the next five years, till she was the mother of a soon to be one year old baby. That was you.” 

“Oh.” 

“I was your Godfather. I gave you your name. I played with you and one day, when your dad had to leave you with me, I even changed your diaper.” 

“Um…..” 

“Then one day, we had a surprise attack. From a formidable nemesis. We fought and killed all of them but my dear friend and partner in crime, Henry Moran, died in the exchange of gunfire. I was also near fatally wounded. But while I recovered, he lay in the morgue.” 

Sebastian exhaled, “Can I pour myself some more?” 

Moriarty pointed with his eyes towards the bar and the bottle of Scotch, giving his permission. “Your mother was livid when she found out and ran off with you. She couldn’t accept that the decorated war hero she loved had chosen a dark path with a dark figure like me. She was afraid I would put you at risk too and scared that you’d get to know what your old man really was. So when I traced her out and begged her to let me help financially, to look after you, she stubbornly refused. You were two then and a replica of my dear friend. It broke my heart to not bring you back home with me. I could have tried and insisted but I had deep respect for your mother’s resolve, her decision and her honour. So I stepped away, reluctantly, though I kept tabs on both of you always.” 

“She died years ago sir.” 

“I know. I was fortunate enough to have reached her bedside, though you weren’t able to make it there on time. There she told me she had forgiven me, her late husband and also herself, for every trespass that had occurred in our lives. But she got a promise out of me.” 

“Which was?” 

“That if you would ever need me, I would be there for you.” 

Sebastian raised his glass to his mouth but changed his mind and put it down on the bar counter. “I don’t understand,” he said, “I don’t need you really. I mean, I appreciate you calling me over and letting me know my past, my dad’s true profession towards the end of his life and for revealing yourself as my Godfather. I believe you too, every word you said. But I sense you didn’t call me to help me, did you?” 

Moriarty shook his head. 

“Then why?” 

“Because I need your help son.” 

“My help? How?” 

James Moriarty took two photographs out, this time from his wallet, and showed it to Sebastian. The younger man took them and looked at them casually, trying not to show his disinterest. But one look at that face and he was instantly captivated.

In fact, his heart skipped a beat. 

Moriarty cleared his throat and said, “That is my son. Born a few years after you.”

The two photographs were that of a teenaged boy and then the same boy as an older man in his early twenties. He had the same remarkable eyes as Moriarty, deep and dark and piercing, and a similar longish forehead. But overall his face was different. It was not as long as the old man’s and his cheeks were a little round instead of the pointy high cheekbones Moriarty had. He had the most dazzling smile Seb had ever seen and his face had an abstract prettiness that was instantly appealing. As a teenager he looked more cute and innocent while as the young man he looked sexy and fetching. He was certainly aging well.

“He is James Moriarty Jr. We call him Jim.” 

The old man extended his hand to take the photographs back and Sebastian found to his embarrassment that he was a little reluctant to part from them. He did hand them back eventually and decided to come straight to the point after that. “Mr. Moriarty, I appreciate this insight into the past and this introduction to your son but I am still unable to understand why I am here tonight. You said you need my help. How can I offer any help to a big man like you? I have done well for myself no doubt, I have my distinguished military career where I rose fast through the ranks, and as an author and consultant I have just made my first million and bought my first apartment. But these are insignificant as compared to where you stand. How on earth can I be of service to you?” 

Moriarty looked at his son’s photographs and sighed, “Not me. I think he will need you Seb.” 

“James Jr?” 

“Yes.” 

“But you are there for him. Besides, he is a grown man.” 

“Yeah but an impetuous, hot headed, slightly bipolar young man. Brilliant but erratic. Braver than me perhaps but also crazier. He could rule the world or destroy it, he could level England for no reason and then slash his wrists for the same….no reason. I have protected him from him, for so long. But that can’t happen for much longer.” 

Sebastian looked puzzled, “Why not?” 

“Because I am dying.” 

“What?” 

“Yes. I am really dying. At seventy-three I don’t regret dying. But I do regret leaving him to his own devices. He and I never got along but at least I was someone who always had his best interests in my mind. He would yell, shout and rant at me and then disobey me too, but I’d still forgive him and have his back. But once I am gone, I am not even sure if he’d recognize those who truly love him and those who pretend to.” 

The blond sniper felt sorry for the old man. Suddenly he no longer looked like a dangerous mastermind but a father worried about his unstable but brilliant son. As he had no father while growing up, he felt a strange bond develop between him and this dying man. 

“Mr Moriarty,” he said softly as he knelt by the bed where the old man was sitting, “My father held you in high esteem, you worked together and were close friends, you were my Godfather and you had given me my name. While this might not mean a lot to many people, they mean a lot to me. So I think I do owe you something in return. Calling me isn’t a wasted effort. I will do what it takes to help you.” 

Moriarty looked relieved and for the first time smiled a genuine smile. It looked less wolfish and more gentle. Well, as gentle as it could be on that sinister face, but Sebastian sure saw his sturdy exterior crumble just a little bit. “I knew it was the right time and I was relying on the right person. Son, I have weeks to live. I have a rare intestinal condition that, even after three surgeries, isn’t healing. On the other hand, it’s worsening day by day. Once I am gone I would want you to be with Jim round the clock, as his bodyguard and lieutenant when he takes over my work, and never let him be around knives, blades and guns on his ‘off-colour’ days. To be his friend and confidante, because deep down he is lonely and can’t trust people. I want you to also be his protector, just like your father was mine. But your job will be tougher, since the most protection he needs……is from himself.” 

***

A week later James Sr arranged for his son to meet Sebastian. 

The meeting didn’t go at all per Sebastian’s expectations. 

When Jim appeared at the formal dining room to have dinner with his father and to meet the man his dad wanted to introduce him to, Sebastian noticed that his photographs didn’t do him any justice at all. James Jr had a voluptuous sensuality and a thrilling energy in him, an aura of cool nonchalance and sizzling charisma which we wore like an invisible cloak, and no photograph in the world could have captured any of that. But Jim didn’t seem half as impressed by Sebastian as Sebastian was impressed by him. If anything, he seemed irritated. 

“Don’t tell me I drove across town to meet an ordinary dude, some dumb blonde?” He barked. 

Sebastian almost gasped. Not at the man’s rudeness but his audacity. But Moriarty clearly doted on his son and was used to his bratty behaviour. “Sit down Jimmy. Dorothy has prepared your favourite lobster soufflé and cheesecake.” 

“Buy me a teddy bear too,” Jim grumbled and took his seat opposite to Sebastian. Moriarty sat at the head of the long, polished table which could easily accommodate fifty diners. 

“Jimmy, I have something important to discuss.” 

Jim threw a fork away and snapped, “The servants are getting lazy. That fork had a scratch. Why wasn’t it tossed to the bin?”


	2. The Old Man's Strange Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old man Moriarty passes away, leaving Sebastian to handle his brash, unstable and short tempered son

Sebastian realized that had it not been for the overwhelming attraction he felt towards Jim, he might have actually slapped him for being a completely selfish, manic and condescending prick. But Moriarty was more amused than offended by his son’s behaviour so Seb also had to grin and bear it, trying not to give away how offended and shocked he was at those two-year-old’s tantrums thrown by an adult. 

“Waste of time,” Jim snorted as he picked at his food, “All this eating, sleeping, being ordinary and boring.” 

Moriarty looked at his son with a placating smile. “No matter how much work you do or what level of genius you carry, you still got to eat right? The body remains human, it doesn’t become a central processing unit that can live off work, scientific inventions and fresh air. Anyways, there is a good reason I invited you over tonight, because I wanted to introduce Sebastian to you. Seb’s father was my bodyguard and the man I trusted more than my own self. I have observed Seb over the years and found that he carries the same qualities and skillsets his father did. Which is why I am appointing him as your chief bodyguard, head sniper and financial advisor.” 

Sebastian almost cringed at Jim’s expression. The younger Moriarty looked stunned at first, before that expression melted into something like disdainful. 

“Oh really?” He said, “So Sebastiaaannn, what are the qualities you have to be all of these things my dad just mentioned?” 

“Well Jim…” 

“Call me sir.” 

This time Moriarty cringed but he didn’t say anything to his son. Taking that cue, Sebastian decided to play along. “All right sir,” he said, “So for my credentials this is what I have to present. I went to Eaton and then Cambridge, got my degree in finance, I speak six languages, I know about every weapon under the sun and am a consultant currently with the world’s largest gun maker company. I can also handle, build and detonate and defuse any kind of bomb. I have travelled the world and handled people of many different cultures, any day I can kill without mercy and as a sniper I have never missed my targets. I can dismantle or assemble any gun in five minutes, complicated ones in ten minutes tops, and I am used to high pressure combat situations.”

The brat couldn’t say much. This was very impressive. 

“He is also an author and a hunter,” Moriarty added, “He has handled, tamed and fought off tigers. And from what I know, he is a very good cook.”

Sebastian grinned, “You knew that sir?” 

“Yes of course, I was very impressed too.” 

“Hah,” Jim scoffed, “A fierce sniper and colonel who is a good cook. What a joke!” 

“Jim you have to respect his abilities and his position in society,” Moriarty was firm for the first time that evening, “He is a man with an impeccable record, he has nerves of steel and an iron will. He has handled situations and people who are possibly worse than even those I have faced. He is entirely self-made, he has had no recommendations or guidance from anyone since he grew up in a single parent household with very little money to spare. He has been in the army. He can understand and handle finances with the same panache with which he handles weapons. He speaks more foreign languages than even you and I do. Come on, trust your old man’s judgment a bit here will you?” 

Jim snapped, “Why don’t you disown me and give everything to this slobbering blonde?” 

“JIM….stop it now.” 

Jim scowled. 

Sebastian wanted to snap at Jim too but a certain look in those dark brown eyes made him stop. He saw a tinge of hurt and envy there, as if Jim was unable to fathom how his own father could be so full of praises for someone else. 

Moriarty noticed Sebastian’s gaze, followed it, and instantly caught that look in his son’s eyes. He quickly added, “He is also my God son.” 

Jim had opened his mouth to spew out another insult but stopped. “Oh,” he said, “So are there more such ‘sons’? Perhaps a few illegitimate ones?” 

“Jim you know I loved your mother, in my own way. She has been gone for many years now but I haven’t even looked at anyone else. Don’t doubt for even a moment that you and only you are my heir and the man in charge of my empire once I am gone. But Seb does come a close second and per my will, he will have a reasonable share of it and his signature will be needed on some of the expenditure and investments you make for my legitimate companies and clean accounts. The others, you can do as you please. But my first level of commanders know that Sebastian is going to be part of all the future plans….I will introduce him to them before I am gone.” 

This shocked even Sebastian. His mouth fell open. 

Jim looked at his dad in disgust, as if the man had sprouted horns. 

“You are joking right? You are practically strapping him on to my back. A stranger, a poor guy who probably went to Eaton on your doles, someone I don’t even trust, someone who doesn’t seem a bright enough button to me, a failed army officer who lives off boring civilian work and….” 

“Mr. Moriarty I beg your pardon,” Sebastian spoke up, unable to take the jibes anymore, “I met your father for the first time a week ago. He hasn’t paid a penny for what I have spent in my life and when you make such suppositions you insult my deceased mother who worked two jobs to keep me in Eaton. I may not be your level of genius but I am not dumb, as both military authorities and several civilians would testify. I didn’t fail in the army….” 

“Then why were you on the verge of being dishonourably discharged?” 

Moriarty shook his head and sighed at his son’s behaviour while Seb almost gasped at the words. This brat was clever, a genius of Newton and Einstein level, or at least so he had heard. But despite that Sebastian hadn’t been prepared for a moment like this. Even for Jim this wasn’t easy information to procure and since this was highly confidential and classified news, only very powerful men in the military had any knowledge of this. It also showed that the junior Moriarty had a fair idea about him already and had managed to extract information that was nearly impossible to source. Jim had done his research on Seb even though his dad had informed him of very little about his God son before this day. A perceptive and well-prepared man. 

“Shut the fucking fly trap,” Jim grinned evilly, pleased with himself. 

“Jimmy, my decision stands,” Moriarty stated sternly. 

Jim pushed his plate away. One of the cutlery items slid across the table and hit Sebastian’s glass of water. “Excuse me folks but I just lost my appetite,” he scoffed, “Don’t mind if I leave the table now and leave the doting Godfather and his appallingly opportunist God son to discuss childhood stories and ‘how to torture’ Jim procedures. I am done with this whole nonsense. I had a bellyful.” 

He stomped off. 

“Edward,” Moriarty summoned his butler. 

“Yes sir,” the butler entered the room. Sebastian knew this man was more than your average butler. He saw the man’s hands. Callused, tough, steady hands. He had once been one of the criminal mastermind’s men on the field, for sure. 

“See to it he doesn’t go to bed hungry.” 

“Sure sir.” 

“Be careful though, he is boiling.” 

“No problem sir.” 

The moment Edward left, Moriarty looked at Sebastian. He seemed tired, jaded, but he still managed to look like a man in control. But his sunken eyes held sympathy for the blonde. “After this I wouldn’t blame you if you said no to this and walked away. I’d let you walk.” 

Sebastian couldn’t deny he was tempted to walk off. After all he had a good life even without getting into this. He had enough money and the money would only increase as he wrote more books and showed more of his expertise as a gun specialist, he had a few but good friends whom he could trust, he was a handsome and clever man with the right manners and poise to be part of any society and charming his way into another person’s heart, and sooner or later he could even marry and have a family. If anything, this responsibility would weigh him down and expose him to a thousand dangerous situations, subject him to an unconventional life and lifestyle.

//But that’s what you want Seb, you don’t want the usual and ordinary. You are looking for thrills and risks. That is in your DNA. Then there is this dying old man you feel a connection with, like he reminds you of the father you don’t remember otherwise. And Jim, unearthly gorgeous Jim you already have a soft spot for…..//

“I told you that you can count me in sir,” he replied, much to the old man’s relief and happiness, “You can still count on me. When I give my word I give my word. I won’t go back on it now. But it seems like Jim isn’t very happy and once you aren’t…..aren’t there to back me up and tell him to accept your decision, he might just throw me out head first. I clearly saw that he has trust issues and he also feels he isn’t appreciated enough by you, so that’s another complex we need to deal with. He was clearly uncomfortable hearing praises for me coming out of your mouth. To be honest Mr. Moriarty, this was not a great meeting and I am not even sure I can do the job you want me to do.” 

“It is tough, not impossible,” Moriarty said, panting a bit. 

Sebastian handed him his oxygen mask, which he carried around with himself now. The man held it to his mouth and took a few shallow breaths, then a deep one, then put it away with a muted ‘thanks’. 

“As for the military fiasco, I was not….” 

Moriarty held up a hand, “Don’t. I believe you.” 

//But Jim doesn’t and he will find ways and means to keep poking me in the side with this//, Sebastian thought, but seeing the older man’s haggard condition and laboured breathing, he refused to let himself voice his fears aloud. 

***

6 weeks later, Moriarty passed away in his sleep. He was a month short of his seventy fourth birthday. 

Sebastian felt like he had lost his father all over again. During his last days the man clung to him like a drowning man to a lifeboat and Sebastian had returned his attention and affection by visiting him every night and spending some time with him. His instincts had told him to stay overnight that evening, seeing how frail and wasted the old man looked, and he had spent half the night by Moriarty’s bedside before the man’s breathing had ceased. 

Jim definitely visited his dad but he timed his trips it in a manner that didn’t allow overlaps with Sebastian’s visiting hours. He was also busy running the empire, both legit and illegitimate, while his old man slowly withdrew all his fingers from the web he had built over the past forty-five years. When the funeral took place, Sebastian and Jim came face to face again. There were many people who came to pay their last respects and fortunately for Seb, Jim put up a show of unity and camaraderie before them, even allowing Seb to make a speech after he had made his own. Sebastian was surprised how many people admired Moriarty and genuinely liked, respected and idolized him. 

It was only once it was all over, the church services, burial and the feast later, and the dust had settled on the death of one of the most powerful men in the world, that the gravity of the situation descended upon Sebastian’s shoulders. Jim had tersely asked him to visit one of his offices and when he was shown into the plush and huge cabin by Jim’ secretary Mary Morstan, he saw the lawyer Peter Keegan, two more advocates, a few trustees and the men of Moriarty’s inner circle already present. There was also another woman present there besides Mary, her name was Irene and she was also a member of the Board. She cast a very curious and long glance at Sebastian, as if she was sizing him up. 

“So your father’s will…..” Peter began. 

“Stop,” Jim barked, “I know what it is. Just tell me how to get rid of him.” 

Sebastian cringed. Jim had pointed at him. 

“I don’t think you know the changed will Jim.” 

“Peter do as I told.” 

“I am powerless to do so Jim. Hear me out first.” 

“Yeah yeah yeah yadda yadda yadda, just hurry up,” Jim said impatiently. 

“Your father’ legitimate wealth and assets include eighteen properties all over the world, two private jets, a fleet of sixty cars, a five hundred feet yacht, six companies, paintings and art, jewellery and cash and investments. All of that amount to one billion and four hundred million pounds. The undeclared assets and Panama and Swiss accounts, the earnings from our web, they would add up to much more, perhaps three times this amount.” 

He paused, much to Jim’s chagrin, and continued after a sip of water. 

“Mr. Moriarty left his Mediterranean villa in Naples to Colonel Moran, along with six of his cars, a trawler boat, and liquid assets worth a hundred million. Plus some of his sketches and some paintings, the specifics of which I have in a supplementary sheet.” 

“Great,” Jim grinned like a shark, dapper and handsome in his dark maroon Burberry suit, “Let’s give them to him and pack him off.” 

“Not so fast Jim,” said Albert, one of Moriarty’s closest aides and a father figure to Jim, perhaps he was the man’s Godfather much like Moriarty was Sebastian’s, “There is more and Mr. Moriarty told me about it before he passed.” 

Jim was temporarily taken aback. But he recovered soon enough and waved an arm at Peter to continue. Peter read out the rest, “Mr James Moriarty senior had given explicit instructions that Sebastian Moran, Colonel Sebastian Moran, will be part of all decisions and activities along with James Junior, including a signatory in all financial dealings, for a period of five years starting now. In case he is removed from his capacity then all of this will pass on to a suspended trust, with James junior inheriting only the rest of the legitimate assets and the web will pass on to Albert Walker and Donald Green. They will of course, hold it in their custody, till James makes full amendments to the recommended arrangement and then his rights will be once again fully restored.” 

“I don’t believe this,” James smashed his fist on the desk and sent things clattering in all directions. The assembled group flinched and started straightening things up, without daring to hold Jim’s gaze. They were afraid of him, Sebastian could clearly see that. But they were also trying their best, despite their fears and apprehensions, to uphold the promise they had made to their former boss. 

But now Jim was the boss. And he was feared and dreaded, since he was not as predictable or approachable as his father. 

Sebastian looked at all of them and decided to dig his heels in and stick around. He loved a challenge so challenge accepted. 

“By the set of terms and conditions mentioned, Sebastian will live in the same accommodation you choose to live in, as your bodyguard and protector 24/7. He will also oversee your appointments and take up all your major assignments as the single point of contact after you.” 

“It can’t get worse,” Jim muttered. 

“Um…..there is one last thing….if you get married in the next five years…..that fetches you the same results as removing Sebastian Moran from his position.” 

“Okay, it just did get worse,” Jim growled, “Now I can’t even marry because of this git.”

The next moment things started to fly about as the angry young man smashed and hurled and tossed items here and there. A panicked bunch of people left the room, ducking for cover and faces pale and ashen. Sebastian was dragged out by Peter and Mary, since he had made no move to leave. Sebastian turned and looked at the closed door behind which things were still hitting solid objects and breaking into pieces. The reality of his new line of duty sank into his head in its full intensity now. His new life as ‘The Protector’ had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim's father had a human side and therefore an inner circle of close associates. Jim on the other hand doesn't trust anybody, not even those his dad trusted and favoured. However, he is aware he needs them and therefore doesn't kick them out. This story is about how Jim forms his own inner circle, starting with Seb *but that's a long way still*


	3. Moving in with Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian becomes Jim's live-in and tries to fit in. Jim on the other hand is determined to throw the sniper out.

Sebastian had always moved from place to place. As a child his mum was always on the lookout for better housing from the government or the church she went to, therefore Seb had returned home to different neighbourhoods and different cottages for each summer vacation. Now of course he knew that his mum’s reasons behind moving could be fuelled by her paranoia about Moriarty following them. The man had followed and tailed them nonetheless. 

After Uni, he had moved even more frequently thanks to his army postings. From the fiery heat of Afghanistan to the cold valleys of Mongolia, the tropical sultriness of the Indian plains to the Amazon basin, Mexico’s seaside to ice cold Alaska, he had done the whole nine yards of traveling and shifting his base every few months. 

Therefore moving out of his apartment, which he had bought with full payment and moved into only three months ago, was neither a problem nor a sentimental loss. The apartment was still his, so he knew he could get back here whenever he wanted, even if it was for only a couple of days. He had a fancier wardrobe now, so he left some there and carried the rest with himself, along with his other belongings that were needed on a day to day basis. Books, guitar, his guns, his laptop, high end camera, camping gear, his motorcycle and a few items of furniture and personal artefacts. But like every clever sniper and hired hand, he kept two suitcases for the ‘sudden move’. 

This was in case of having to leave in an hour’s time. Those suitcases had concealed guns, two of them, a long-range sniper rifle and a handgun, all their accessories and enough ammunition, his tablet where he stored sensitive information, two formal suits, two informal suits, ties and formal brogues and Oxfords, six pairs of casual trousers and the accompanying shirts and T shirts, a parka, two jumpers, two pullovers, underwear, shaving kit, medical kit, kindle, sleep clothes, gym clothes, house slippers, speedos and running shoes. He even added a couple of towels to the mix. 

He reached the appointed apartment where Jim was staying for about thirteen months. Moriarty’s faithful chauffeur, Jacob, dropped him there. 

“Need help with the luggage sir?” He asked. 

“Call me Sebastian please,” Seb said, “It’s okay, I can manage.” 

“Ten pieces of them, hardly enough hands.” 

“I will be fine. The elevators are there.” 

“Be careful with him sir….Sebastian, he can be very….ruthless and abrupt in his ways. He is a much adored boy that I have seen growing up, therefore my loyalties do lie with him. However, I still feel sorry for you that you have to handle him. Mr. Moriarty was the only one who did that job somewhat, not to full success though. You have no idea what you are up against.” 

“I will be fine,” Sebastian said confidently, “Jim has no idea what he is up against.” 

Jacob nodded, “Well good luck then Sebastian.” 

He had been given a key so Sebastian easily walked into the penthouse apartment. It was a duplex with five bedrooms upstairs, all with attached luxury bathrooms, and a den. The lower level had a covered terrace with a swimming pool, a terrace garden, a barbeque area and a sit out area with a hammock and recliners. There was also a large sitting room, an open plan kitchen and dining area, a gym, a home office and a washroom meant for guests to use. There was also a library which doubled up as a second den or parlour, the large wall spanning windows of which looked directly into the terrace pool. The view from the windows and the terrace was one to kill for. 

Sebastian was wondering where to shift his luggage to when the door opened and in walked Jim. He looked at Sebastian blankly, as if he didn’t know how he got in, then with disgust, as if he was irked by his mere presence there. “Hello,” Sebastian said with a warm smile. He was going to try and be as nice as possible. He would make the requisite efforts and leave the rest to Jim, see if he would reciprocate somewhat. 

“Well look what the wind of greed blew in,” Jim scathed. 

“So which room upstairs should I take?” Sebastian asked. 

“What? You walked around the apartment? Without permission?” 

“I was told I could familiarize myself with it.” 

“My stupid emotional fool of a father really screwed it up for me. Suddenly I have a six and half foot giant in my house, asking for his space as if he really owns it.” 

“Sir, I will earn my keep and serve you to the best of my abilities. You shouldn’t have any problems with my presence here. I can be invisible if you want, or just stay out of the way.” 

“Then get the fuck out of here.” 

“That’s why I asked where should I….” 

“The last bedroom down the hallways upstairs. And why have you brought so much stuff? Did you think for even a moment that my house won’t have furniture?” 

“It is only a coffee table and a bean bag sir. I promise they won’t be in your way.” 

Jim said nothing after that. A phone call came through and he answered it, talking away incessantly as he entered the home office and slammed the door with more force than necessary. Sebastian quickly took his luggage upstairs and stated to set himself up in the room that had been allocated to him. It was, predictably, the smallest of the bedrooms, but still just as big as the master bedroom in his own apartment. Thankfully the room was also sparsely furnished so Sebastian was able to set things up quickly and without any problems. 

He also took the opportunity to shower, dress in a pair of shorts and T shirt and slide his feet into his flip flops before he made his way to the kitchen downstairs. It was dark and nobody had bothered to switch the lights on, so that was precisely what he did for each room. 

He stopped at the doorway to Jim’s home office. The door was still locked and through it he could hear the tap-tap-tapping sounds of keys on the laptop, the snarly voice of Jim on what seemed to be a conference call, and the faint smell of the man’s cologne. Sebastian considered for a moment if he should knock but decided against it. Not a polite thing to do and he was determined to be as far from intrusive as possible. But there was a dilemma staring at him – Food. Due to his size and active lifestyle, he did eat three square meals a day and with dinner time already a little past the usual hour he had begun to feel a tad bit hungry. Sebastian had no idea if he should order a pizza or cook in the kitchen, neither of which he was averse to, but he had to ask Jim if he wanted dinner as well. It would be selfish to order or cook only for himself. 

As he stepped into the kitchen he was filled with dismay. Huge kitchen, state of the art design and equipment, large double door fridge, every amenity under the sun, yet no food or any items to prepare any kind of food. 

Gosh! Did this man eat or not!

On the refrigerator was stuck a note. 

‘Mr Moriarty, thank you for the three days off. I shall be back on Saturday. Nigella’.

Great, just great, no groceries and no housekeeper/cook. If she was off for three days then tonight was the first one off for her. Sebastian realized he would have to manage things on his own. Not that he minded, just that there were no supplies. 

Very well. Takeout tonight. Grocery shopping next morning. 

Sebastian looked up Google and found out nearby delivery joints. He also used some of his mobile apps and soon zeroed down on a place that delivered ‘American Fast Food’. Deciding to order for both of them, he ordered four large hotdogs, ketchup and mustard on the side so Jim could take his pick, caramelized onions, fries and corn on the cob to make a complete meal. Once done, he poked around the place for a beer and discovered a huge bar counter. Expensive and rare aged wines, whiskies, single malt and scotch, gin, tequila, vodka, brandy, curacao, aperitifs and cocktail mixes. Everything there but beer. 

Just his rotten luck. 

He loped downstairs and went down the street, grabbed a pack of eight, and came back within ten minutes. He was glad he was quick, because the delivery boy and he landed up at the marble foyer outside their apartment door almost at the same time. 

“Thanks man, here you go,” Seb paid and tipped him before carrying the doggy bag and the pack of beer inside. The first thing he saw was a small pile of cut up pieces of what appeared to be one of his undershirts. Yes, the one he had worn and taken off before the shower. Standing a few steps away from that pile and wielding a large scissor in his hands with a manic gleam in his eyes was James Junior, eyeing his handiwork with a proud toothy grin. 

To anyone else, a lesser mortal perhaps, this would have signalled doom or dread but for Colonel Moran, used to far worse surprises than these, it took merely two seconds to recover. “I needed some new undershirts anyways,” he said, taking out his smokes from his pocket, “So thanks for taking care of one of the old ones for me. If you want to make a bonfire out of his I can loan you my lighter.” 

Jim’s sneaky grin faded slowly and then vanished, replaced by a searing anger that was borne out of frustration. When he saw he couldn’t get under Sebastian’s skin, his expression became demonic for a moment, to put it mildly. The next moment a heavy ash tray flew at Seb and the sniper caught it with his expert instincts. Then, as calmly as ever, he walked to the kitchen and plated the food, opening two bottles of beer with his teeth and taking a deep gulp from one. Jim stared after him, mouth open, looking at the ash tray which now lay next to a heaped plate of hotdog and sides. The damn thing was supposed to either draw blood or break into pieces. That would have calmed his itchy anger. 

“You arse hole,” he yelled at Sebastian, “What are you playing at?” 

Sebastian calmly kept eating and sipping his beer. He didn’t answer or react. 

“You bastard, I am talking to you.” 

“Hmmm, you aren’t. You’re talking to yourself Jim.” 

“You will call me sir, did I or did I not tell you that?” 

“Sure sir. You did. Excuse the lapse.” 

Jim stomped over to the kitchen and pushed Sebastian with all his might. Though a blindingly attractive man, he was not tall. That was one aspect of his father he hadn’t inherited. He was about five feet eight inches, not waifish but still on the short to medium side. But Sebastian was a tall hulking mass of rock solid muscles and he didn’t even feel the push. He merely took one step back and balanced himself. 

“Get out of my house.” 

“No.” 

“I am ordering you. You work for me.” 

“That’s why my duty is to protect you. If I leave you lose your inheritance, 60% of it.”

Jim opened his mouth and closed it. The words didn’t come out because there weren’t any. No argument held true there, he knew it, and by the sheer virtue of that he knew he was defeated by logic here. 

“Okay, okay so here it goes,” he said, standing toe to toe with Sebastian and looking into those blue eyes. 

He cursed himself for that wee bit of weakness that slotted itself into his heart, a heart he didn’t even know he possessed. It hadn’t cracked when his old man died, in fact by the time they had finished putting the earth over old Moriarty’s coffin, he had even started to forget what his father looked like. But now, staring into those azure orbs he had forgotten his words and was scared, actually scared to open his mouth, scared to let that little child come out. He didn’t want to allow himself to trip over his own words, didn’t want this nasty shite from the military to smirk at him and think he is weak after all. Well, all human beings have their weaknesses but he was Jim Moriarty, THE Jim Moriarty. He couldn’t be like all the others now, could he? 

No he could not!

“Sir,” Sebastian’s deep baritone startled him, “I am listening.” 

“I will give you half my legit fortune, five hundred million dollars, right now. I will call the lawyer and make him write out my decision on a perfectly acceptable legal paper, and you will be richer than you have ever dreamt of. But after that you will leave me, leave and never look back, never seek me out or call me or anyone who works with me. This will end now, right away, forever.” 

Sebastian listened till the end and shook his head. 

Jim growled, “What the fuck!” 

“I am not into this for the money.” 

“Anybody would kill for this kind of money.” 

“I would kill too, but nor for money. I’d do that to keep you safe. Being rich isn’t everyone’s idea of being fulfilled.” Sebastian paused and after a lengthy silence, added, “Sir.” Then he left the kitchen and went upstairs, his plate of food finished till the last crumbs and Jim’s untouched plate still sitting there on the counter. 

***

Sebastian woke up early the next morning and peered into Jim’s room. The little fella lay in bed, covered to the ears, and was fast asleep. Seb stood and looked at him to his heart’s content. Asleep like this, Jim looked more of his age. Twenty-three perhaps. 

Then he went out grocery shopping. 

He had never had this kind of fun blowing up a few hundred pounds. He shopped half the Tesco almost, plus some more at a gourmet store down the street. He bought loads of beer (he had noticed Jim had eaten half the hotdog but not touched the beer) for himself, different cuts of meat and some mince, breakfast meats, fish, eggs, bread, pasta and noodles, rice and couscous, plenty of vegetables and some canned food, spices and herbs, butter and cheese, some seafood even. He liked cooking his own meals and if he stayed there, he had to stock up the place. 

He returned to the penthouse to find Jim gone and a note left behind for him. ‘Make yourself useful in case you have to stay here and take this target out for me. Details below, photograph on the coffee table you dragged from your cubby hole last evening’. Sebastian nodded to himself, a job was a job and Jim, as his boss, had the right to give the orders. He did the job immaculately though it was a tough hit. He was supposed to kill this man, an upcoming politician, while he was in a rally. The hiding place was too far away, it was pissing down with rain and the winds were blustering, there were too many others who could be hit, yet Seb did his job like a pro. 

As always, he held his nerves well and came back home from the hit to a hot shower and change of clothes. Then he managed to cook chicken curry and rice for them for dinner. 

Jim came home at ten in the night and went straight to the bedroom. Sebastian followed him to say he had done his work but all he got before he had even started to speak was ‘I know, now bugger off’ and a slammed door on his face. 

Sebastian went to the kitchen, served his own food and ate while watching telly in the living room. He kept the sound down as he watched the soccer match, not wanting to disturb Jim. 

Then he washed his plate and spoons, put Jim’s food into Tupperware bowls, sealed the lids and put them in the refrigerator. It was eleven thirty. Jim was not going to eat tonight. 

That night he didn’t sleep undisturbed like the night before. In his light sleep he distinctly heard sounds towards the early hours of the morning, perhaps around 4 am or so, and sat bolt upright on his bed. Shit, someone was in the apartment! He padded out like a stealthy panther with a gun in his hand, barefoot and teeth bared as well. If anyone had broken in and was trying to hurt Jim, they’d never leave the apartment alive. Shit, he noticed as he walked past the man’s room, the door was open and the bed was empty. 

But a peek into the kitchen and he almost laughed. 

In the overall darkness of the kitchen, Jim’s slight and cute form was illuminated by the light from the refrigerator. The crime lord was standing there in his boxers, shovelling food into his mouth. He was eating rice and curry, stone cold, straight from the Tupperware boxes. 

Sebastian smiled broadly and went back to his bedroom, not wanting to embarrass Jim. He didn’t fall asleep till he heard Jim walk back to his bedroom and shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Sebastian isn't the one who will take shit constantly from Jim. He tolerates but also gives back when needed, sometimes at least!


	4. Early days of Mormor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a spat with Irene and regular dogfights with Jim, Sebastian suddenly has a visitor

A week passed and though Sebastian settled down to his life at the apartment and started to do regular sniper jobs for his new boss, he felt he had not made any progress in his fragile relationship with Jim. Well, that was if one could call it any form of relationship at all. 

Jim remained cold and indifferent towards him and hardly spoke to him. If Sebastian asked a question he was snubbed icily or brushed aside haughtily. 

The sniper met the housekeeper, a formidable black woman named Nigella, and she was courteous and cooperative towards him. She even appreciated the fact that he ate, that he had actually taken the pains to store and stock the place with food items. She had been a former criminal and worked under an oath of secrecy and silence, as she admitted to him after the first few interactions, and she seemed to be someone who actually wanted the best for Jim. But she was scared of him too, just like Jacob was and so was Mary. But there was one woman who didn’t show much nerves at the mention of Jim’s name, nor did she show any particular politeness towards Sebastian. That woman was Irene Adler. 

So Sebastian was more than surprised when Irene turned up at the café where he was lunching after completing a hit. 

“Miss Adler,” he said with a slight bow and continued to eat his sandwiches and black coffee while she took a seat at his table. 

“Colonel Moran,” she adjusted her sunglasses. 

“Didn’t expect you here.” 

“I came to say thanks. Today’s job was for me.” 

“Oh….was it? I didn’t ask. It’s not my place to ask who the client is.” 

“If you don’t, then you will end up like me Moran.” 

This time the sniper stopped eating and gave her his full attention. She huffed out a condescending laugh but Sebastian’s trained eyes, ones which were used to assessing women as well as men, saw that as self-deprecating. She was laughing at herself. 

“I am half Irish, just as he is. We were to be married, several years ago, when he suddenly decides to tell his dad he is gay. I know he has been with women and men, just as I have been with both, and we could have made it work. I knew him from the time he was fifteen, I am just a year and half older and it could have bloody worked…..yet….” 

“He refused?” He raised a brow. 

“Make no mistakes Moran,” she said curtly, “I am on his side and I am now trained to kill too. I am not a Board member of his legit company just to count my shares.” 

“What are you getting at madam?” 

“If you can’t look after him, if you let uncle James Sr down, if you are with MI5 or any other rival gang and doing this to get into his inner circle so you can bring him down, there are more than a few takers who would be willing to end your life just like you ended one today.”

“You perhaps know this as well as anyone else that I am not an easy man to kill or dominate,” Sebastian replied as he ordered more coffee, for himself and Irene, which she surprisingly didn’t object to, “But while I am done assuring you that I am on his side too and into this for the long haul, I would definitely like to know how you turned out to be one of those ‘saner’ women. Usually hell hath no fury than a woman scorned and I was thinking you are either sour assed jealous of me or mad as hell at Jim. Didn’t count you as one of those wingless angels fluttering around him and wanting the best for him and all that jazz. Really unbelievable huh?”

She sneered, “How many women did you know exactly?” 

“Loads.” 

“If you count out the ones who you knew only by boobs and pussy and nothing else, then how many are left?” 

“Well….” 

“Chauvinist pig.” 

“Language lady.” 

“He won’t be an easy man to manage. There is a reason why uncle James sought you out, he saw what his son wanted for a long time but didn’t know how to have it. He….” 

“You came all the way here to tell me that?” Sebastian somehow didn’t like her much. She seemed to have an agenda, something hidden behind that elaborately made up face. 

Her eyes flashed a wave of anger which she quickly masked with a patronizing look. “See, I don’t need to be here or to thank you for what you have done. Jim, though no longer my intended fiancé, is still someone who looks after me, as I look after him. His biggest problem is that he thinks he’s beyond help, beyond all suffering, he is inviolable in some way. You are someone my father’s good friend trusted, so I came here in good faith. I am here to help you with some suggestions and guidelines….” 

Sebastian held up a hand. “I’d prefer to make my own discoveries and learn from my own experience, thank you. I learned in the army that the stupidest people who walk this planet are those who walk on follow other people’s footprints.”

“You fool,” she got up with a huff, “You pathetic, stupid, fool.” 

With that she was gone! Sebastian made no move to stop her. 

***

A month passed and Sebastian realized this wouldn’t be easy. That didn’t mean he didn’t find it exciting though. 

There was never a dull moment around Jim. In fact there was so much activity around this slender dark-haired skittish man that even the indomitable Sebastian Moran sometimes found himself devoid of energy. For starters, Jim had sudden bursts of hyperactivity where he refused to let Sebastian or any of his closest aides sleep or rest. If he was awake, they had to be. If he was working, then so should they. If he didn’t need to eat, well why would the others be hungry? Those days were when he achieved so much in such little time but also bit off more than he could chew. Sebastian saw how it created a mountain of work for the others who took care of the follow through. 

Sebastian had been asked to read through bundles of legal documents, flown to Monaco to secure a real estate deal, killed people in Australia and then negotiated a drug deal in Columbia. All this amidst accompanying Jim to meetings, conventions or random and unusual places where he made deals incognito. There had been paperwork and research and a great deal of organizing that had to be done too but while others would have caved in, Sebastian only found it exhilarating. He liked to work, he felt it was a slingshot back to his army days, and he managed admirably well. Sometimes he caught Jim’s eyes on him with a strange expression that almost spoke of…..admiration? 

Nah. Why would that genius admire him? 

Because he had had time to notice just how brilliant Jim was! Aside from running the criminal empire, the legit business, reading a great deal, he was also a scientist who invented things and wrote books on mathematics and physics. He was also a published author, under the pseudo name ‘Richard Brook’. 

“I don’t think you should sign that deal or transfer that money,” Sebastian said one evening as they sat in the living room, both men working on their laptops. For the past few days Jim had started to tolerate Sebastian’s presence a bit more than usual. 

“Why?” Jim barked, not looking up. 

“I am supposed to advise you so….” 

“Don’t use your little brain. There isn’t much there. Empty head space forever, on rent.” 

“Insulting me won’t make this deal fructify sir.” 

“You have no self-respect. Do all these jibes not affect you at all? You are someone who should just sign on the dotted line when I tell you to, not apply brains and pretend you are intelligent enough to understand what’s going on. You stupid fucking knot head. There! I just called you names and I suppose you will still suck it up and come to me wagging your tail, like the faithful dog that you are. Like the mangy dog that your dad was to my dad.” 

“Good,” Sebastian said with a smile that hid the pang of betrayal he felt inside. His dad was a good man who had been loyal to Moriarty, who had died for Moriarty, and this youngster couldn’t be bothered to even acknowledge that. “At least one of us has taken on his father,” he added, unable to hold himself back any longer. 

Jim crossed the distance between them in a heartbeat and smacked him across his face. His hand was surprisingly strong, that hard slap stung like a bitch but he didn’t flinch or wince, nor did his head even move a little. The only indication of any reaction was a small blink of the eyelids. “You dare to do this, you dare to talk back to me and compare me with my father, you slit ass bastard son of a mangy dog,” Jim screamed at him and at once exposed a mammoth chip on his shoulder, “You are in this for the money aren’t you? You refused my generous offer because you are the sort of man who gets off on counting more money. You greedy son of a bitch.” 

Realizing he had crossed a line, Sebastian filtered out the other insults and held on to his wits and temper. If he lost it he would beat Jim to a pulp but then this sometimes suicidal, occasionally depressed brat could be baiting him just to aid his self-destruction. Nope, colonel Moran was a better man than that and much cleverer. “You are tiring yourself out,” he said calmly as Jim ranted, “This isn’t going to work. I won’t stab you or walk out of the apartment or be gone forever.” 

Jim panted now, totally desperate. 

“I can see my finger prints on your cheek you wuss,” he cursed, “Does none of this affect you at all?” 

“Even if it does,” Sebastian got up with a sigh, “How do you even care?” 

As he walked up the stairs he called out over his shoulder, “Meat loaf and grilled veggies in the oven. In case you are hungry and no, I am not signing that deal or letting you waste your money on this sunken investment.” 

Jim broke a vase by stomping on it and the fresh flowers inside it. 

“You are truly a rat’s ass, no self-respect at all, no nothing, even a whore is better than you,” Jim sang in his manic voice, “I bet if I scratch you, you will bleed mud water. You aren’t even human, you are a fucking imbecile. Your entire family is like this or what? Tell me Sebastiaaaan, were your parents even married when they had you? Are you a real bastard or merely behave like one?” 

“You got it,” Seb answered, suddenly feeling his throat tighten, “A real bastard. Too bad that cannot be changed.” 

***

The next day something unexpected happened. 

Sebastian was out jogging when he got a call from the home phone. Thinking Jim was calling, just to remind him that he was a moron and not a Moran, he answered it rather distantly. “Moran here.” 

It was Nigella on the other side and she informed him that a certain gentleman had come to see him and it appeared that he had paid a visit straight from the airport. She had offered him coffee and asked him to wait till Sebastian returned but he had insisted on coming back about an hour later. Sebastian acknowledged the information and disconnected, letting out a noisy breath from his mouth. He knew who it was. Zachary Ross, Vice President of Craig and Noll publishing house, his off and on date and sort of boyfriend who had been sending him numerous texts and WhatsApp messages of late. Sebastian felt a wee bit guilty, knowing he had neglected that friendship….relationship ever since he had taken charge of Jim Moriarty. 

A barking laughter left him, startling two pretty women who were walking past him. He mouthed a ‘sorry’ at them and increased his speed, wanting to reach the apartment as quickly as possible. 

He was not in charge of Jim. Nobody could really be. That man resisted, abhorred, hated any form of control or boundaries. From what Sebastian had observed, the more one tried to restrain Jim the more slippery he got and slid away from the grasp. It was like trying to hold a fistful of sand. The harder you pressed down the fingers, the quicker the sand grains slip out through them. To make matters more complicated, he was unpredictable too. Every single time Sebastian thought he had a grip on the ‘Know Jim book’ in his head, the entire thing just vanished and got replaced by blank pages. 

Naturally, with the change in lifestyle, living in the same house with Jim, working two jobs, he had neglected everyone from his former life. Tom, Adrian, Renee and of course Zac. 

When he entered the apartment he saw a crestfallen Nigella complaining about Jim passed out in his home office again. 

“Does a man sleep like that? Just look at him.” She stood at the doorway and pointed. 

Jim was slumped in his chair and snoring softly. 

“We had a fight,” Sebastian said, “I didn’t get a chance to force him to get to bed. But I do know he has been asleep since two in the morning. I took a peek. I wanted to move him but had he woken up there would have been a full-fledged fistfight.” 

“I used to think I had a thankless, sometimes scary job,” Nigella said with a sigh, leaning against the doorframe, “Managing his house and walking on eggshells around him. But your job is worse. You can’t escape him. Work together, live together, manage his moods, handle his destructive side, it must be pretty sapping and exhausting. He can be a handful most of the times or he goes into his other mode, distant and unreachable. Not sure which of the two worries me the most Mr. Moran.” 

“Worrying is unnecessary,” Sebastian said, “Doesn’t change a thing aside from our blood pressure and stress levels. Anyways, let him wake up on his own. Keep the hand-held massager on the desk, he might need it the moment he wakes up. Prepare strong black coffee and his favourite scrambled eggs and cheese on toast, keep the coffee on his desk and the food ready in the kitchen. I don’t think he had dinner last night, as usual.”

***

Zachary arrived at nine thirty, exact hour he had promised to be back at the penthouse. Almost as tall as Sebastian with dark green eyes and suntanned skin, a charming smile and the easy manner of an athlete, he was dressed in a semi-formal suit and button down shirt, no tie. Nigella was right; Sebastian noticed, as he welcomed the man into the apartment and hugged him, that he had a laptop bag and a mid-size duffel bag with him. Straight from the airport and packed lightly, the signs of a short trip with a very specific purpose attached to it. The blond sniper could guess what that purpose was, the message was clearly written on the wall in front of him, but he tried to put it off for as long as possible. 

“You look fantastic but a little tired Seb,” Zac commented as he stepped back and looked at his boyfriend properly, “And this place is just wow! Awesome! Your apartment? Given by the new boss, is it?” 

“No this is his place and I live here because we work so closely together. My apartment, the one you have been in, is too far from our offices and Jim needs me for reasons other than work too.” Sebastian was a lot of things but a liar he was not. He wanted Zac to know exactly how this arrangement was, in spite of it being hard to explain and harder to accept. The only part he had not revealed though was that he was a hitman/assassin/sniper-on-hire. He wasn’t sure this good-natured American man, who had never hurt anything more than flies and mosquitoes, would ever recover from the shock of his boyfriend being a hardcore killer and criminal. 

Zac got straight to the point. “So it’s the two of you living under one roof?” 

“Yes. But in separate rooms.” 

“He is a young and attractive man, incredibly rich, single from what I can make out. You do understand that it’s not the easiest thing to accept Seb.”

Sebastian nodded. He couldn’t deny that. Zac took a deep breath and asked, “Do you have his photograph around here somewhere?”

“He doesn’t have any lying around the house,” Sebastian said hurriedly. He didn’t add ‘Because we might abandon this place at an hour’s notice and nothing should ever give away who the occupants of this penthouse were’. Zachary didn’t need to know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Irene's motives are a bit ambiguous here. She will make an appearance now and then. 
> 
> Thanks to all for reading, commenting, leaving kudos. As a newbie it's very encouraging! Cheers!


	5. The Bodyguard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian breaks up with his former flame and Jim suddenly acts a bit odd

Zac was not giving up. “What about on your phone?” He asked. 

“Oh yes. I do have a couple of them,” Seb said and scrolled through his picture gallery, “Took them at a party with other colleagues last week.” 

Zac looked at the photographs on Sebastian’s phone, brows knotted together for a few moments before he allowed himself to relax again. “He is a looker, there is a sparkle in his eyes which is hard to miss and he sure has a gigantic personality to make up for his smaller stature,” he said candidly, returning Sebastian’s phone, “Look Seb, I trust you and I know for a fact that you wouldn’t lie to me. Still, I want to hear one thing from you right now, right from the horse’s mouth. Are you just working for this man or are you in love with him? Is this living arrangement just a prelude to moving into the same bedroom or is it just fulfilling the role of a bodyguard?” 

“I appreciate this honest question,” Sebastian said. 

“Then please give me a truthful answer,” Zac shot back. 

“It is a professional arrangement with a personal touch.” 

“A professional arrangement with a personal touch….what does that even mean?” 

“I have promised my Godfather I will look after Jim. So yes, it is a personal promise I am fulfilling. At the same time, per his will, I am also a part of his estate and I have a job to do in his business. So it’s also professional.” 

“So can you say he is like a brother to you? Your Godfather’s son, your brother.” 

Sebastian looked away for a moment, then, without holding Zac’s gaze, he shook his head. The older man nodded slightly with a knowing smile, “I thought so. As I said, he is a looker, an intelligent and powerful man at an early age. What’s there not to like? But this can’t really go on can it Seb? Why do you even need this job? You were doing well for yourself weren’t you?” 

“As I said,” Sebastian replied firmly, “I made a promise.” 

“You made a promise to me too.” 

“Yes I did.” 

“Does that promise still stand?” 

Sebastian didn’t want to keep Zac hanging in mid-air. He had neglected the man quite a bit in the past six weeks and if he knew his current situation well, this would only worsen. He was no longer sure of what his future looked like. And he had indeed fallen for Jim.   
He decided to keep things simple, straightforward and unselfish. Zac definitely deserved better than that. The man had not put one foot wrong. Whatever had gone wrong was all Sebastian’s fault, or rather, the result of his decision to change tracks in life. 

None of them noticed a dishevelled and sleepy eyed Jim walk out of the home office and head for the kitchen, sipping his hot coffee and using the massager on the joint between his neck and shoulder. Sleeping seven hours on a chair, sitting up with his head lolling towards the chest, had given him a killer crick between his shoulder blades. He knew who had placed those items, coffee and massager, on his desk. The hands that had done the job might have been Nigella’s but the ideas were Sebastian’s. Sickeningly sweet and horribly subservient, the almost despicable ‘I wanna be your mommy’ behaviour, that was so typical of Sebastian. 

Though he had noticed some of Sebastian’s superior qualities, like his sniper skills and his tenacity, his ability to hold his nerve and create fear in the hearts of enemies, sometimes the blonde still ended up disgusting him. A former colonel, a six and half feet Schwarzenegger-like hunk and a hard-hearted killer, behaving like mommy in an apron. Nonsense! He was half way through the breakfast, damn that Sebastian for arranging that too, now he had to eat it just because it was there, when he realized someone other than him, Sebastian and Nigella was in the apartment. He walked out of the kitchen curiously and peered from the hallway. It was a good-looking man of about forty who was speaking in an American accent, was smartly attired and clearly someone who knew Sebastian pretty well. 

His curiosity peaked and he listened into the conversation.

“I cannot leave Jim alone here Zac,” Sebastian was saying, “He won’t admit it, but he does need someone to watch his back. He is brilliant but he is also too busy, all of this is still new to him without his father present to guide him from time to time. He needs me, he needs someone who can hold it together for him. Probably he’d hate me for doing this but I am stuck to him now.” 

“He is a grown man,” Zac was not agitated, but disappointed, “You sure you need to….wet nurse him?” 

“Protect him,” Sebastian replied, “Like my dad protected his dad. Call it a family legacy but it’s now mine. I have to keep it up.” 

“What about us?” 

“I know I fucked it up. I am sorry. I don’t think I deserve you so I won’t even ask you to wait for me.” 

“But….but….Seb, I can wait. Maybe next month you can come down again and see my folks. We could announce the engagement.” 

Sebastian shook his head with a sad smile, “It won’t work out Zac. I know myself and I know Jim. This will take a long time and by the end of it, who knows where I’ll stand. It’s not going to be fair to leave you in no-man’s land for so long. So, I want to set you free. I would still like us to remain friends, of course if you choose to forgive me someday and decide that we could become friends again.” 

Jim looked on eagerly. He couldn’t believe his ears. Was Sebastian really saying this? 

Zac looked shocked at first, then mildly angry, then totally disillusioned. He stared at Sebastian for a long time before he finally opened his mouth to speak. “If that’s what you wish, then that’s how it must be.” He stepped back, as if trying to put some space between himself and the man he liked, loved. Clearly Sebastian’s feelings for him was not as strong as his feelings for Sebastian. “The worst mistake one can make is try and force someone into a commitment,” he said with a joyless chuckle, “I won’t make such a mistake. If you change your mind anytime soon, you know where to find me. If not, I will take the hint and move on. I wish you the best Seb.” 

“I wish you too,” Sebastian said slowly, voice clearly strained. But his resolve showed in his eyes, blue orbs that darkened slightly with determination. He was sorry to see Zac go but not sorry to have chosen to stay with Jim. 

Zachary picked up his laptop bag and duffel and headed towards the door. Sebastian stayed close behind him. Jim quickly receded into the kitchen and hid behind the six feet double door refrigerator. He heard them exchange further goodbyes and he assumed a small one-arm hug followed. Once the door had shut and Sebastian was walking down the hallway, Jim emerged from the kitchen and gave him an arrow straight glare. 

“Hey,” Sebastian said casually, “Good morning boss.” 

“I heard and saw,” Jim said, sounding unusually serious but quiet. He spoke like this only to his clients. Otherwise he was either sing-song or manic or angry or playful or aggressive or downright childish. 

Sebastian took a look at the door and back at Jim, “Oh I see. Well…..” 

“You made a stupid decision. He is a good guy. Or should I say ‘was’ now?” 

“We never lived together or had a real relationship. It was long distance.” 

“Are you going to miss him?” 

“As a person, a friend, someone I knew, yes. Not otherwise.” 

“Had it been a real thing, if you loved him, would you still have let him go?” 

Sebastian smiled a little and said, “Yes.” 

“You are an idiot Seb,” Jim replied, “Had I been in your place I would have gone with him. I would have left this place and this whole thing….weeks ago.” Sebastian heard the nickname ‘Seb’ instantly. It pleased him and he realized that perhaps Jim had picked it up after hearing Zac call him so. He didn’t reply to what the little genius had said as there was no point in replying. If he agreed Jim would be condescending, if he differed he would argue and bicker. Keep quiet, let him say what he wants, move on, forget, rinse and repeat! Sometimes Jim tempted him and provoked him to respond, so he could use Sebastian’s outburst against him. Seb was not giving him that chance.

Jim realized this and added dismissively, “But then, it’s your life.” 

***

Sebastian realized he was in big trouble. After the day Zac had come to visit him, Jim seemed to have suddenly decided to get sexier. Sebastian found him sleeping naked on top of the covers one night. The sight had made him so horny and hard that he had spent the next two hours in a cold shower, wanking furiously. Another day he called Sebastian into the bathroom to hand him a towel and Sebastian had to literally keep his eyes glued to a spot on the wall as seeing Jim in the tub, immersed in bubbles but not enough to hide most of his naked wet body, was like pure torture. Then he saw Jim walk around the apartment in just tight briefs or silk boxers, for no reason at all. 

The blond former military-man was tired of walking around with a permanent hard-on, pants tight as a tourniquet and balls heavy with need. 

Three months of this torture continued till Jim announced he needed to go to Hong Kong for an assignment. Sebastian looked at the job his boss had taken on and realized, to his utter dismay, that it seemed to be a completely unnecessary travel. There was this scientist who had built a robot which was so life-like that it could easily replace a human in a situation and nobody would be any wiser. While it was a great invention and Jim had first rights on it, as he had helped develop it, there was still no requirement for Jim to fly half way across the world to see it. That scientist could easily come over to see Jim instead, with the robot. 

Unless this was a trap. 

“Not a good idea sir,” he announced. 

“Your job is to do what I ask you to do,” Jim said, “So do that and shut up.” 

“Don’t I always do what you ask?” 

“You often say no where money is involved, often refuse to let me sign some deals.” 

“I refuse to sign some financials only when you try to blow away half of your wealth out of spite towards me. I do refuse to let you sign some deals but the others agree to that too, because it’s too much of a risk for you. It’s always in your interest.” 

“Then let ME decide for myself what’s my interest and what’s not,” Jim sniped, “Enough with you and your monstrous presence and constant interference. Remember this Seb, if I want to really end this I could kill you or me and everything my old man put in the will can be null and void. Do you seriously want me to take such a step? By now you know I am very well capable of doing it.” 

He was capable of doing that and Sebastian knew it. “All right chief, as you say,” Sebastian said but had a clever comeback right after that, “But I am accompanying you. At least you can’t say no to that. As your bodyguard that’s in my line of duty and part of my job.” 

***

Sebastian was a tough cookie with tougher nuts that couldn’t be kicked in easily but even he hadn’t expected the deception that waited for them at Hong Kong. The scientist who was working on the robot, nicknamed Project Adam by Jim to suggest ‘the first creation’ of its kind, was a Chinese American named Brandon Hong. When they arrived in the island country, the scientist didn’t come to receive them, as he had promised Jim earlier. Instead there was a chauffeur driven luxury rental-car there, with a note from Brandon saying he was unwell and had to take a rain check. 

“I will drive, this guy shouldn’t know too much,” Sebastian suggested. 

“Sometimes you make some sense,” Jim said as he sat in the car and strapped himself in, “You are not a complete waste of bones, flesh and marrow.” He didn’t seem to be bothered by Brandon’s no-show though, claiming the man had recently been unwell due to a longstanding illness related to the joints, and had to excuse himself multiple times from travel and conference calls. Sebastian on the other hand felt it was extremely odd that the scientist, only fifty years of age, couldn’t even make it to the airport even though the previous evening he had been at a seminar for several hours. 

“It wasn’t very respectful,” he commented. 

“Once the robot is tested and finalized, he will get his arse kicked,” Jim replied, “Now is not the time.” 

“If I may ask…..who lives in his house with him?” 

“No, you may not. You talk too much so shut up….cunt.” 

“Excuse me sir?” 

“Cunt cunt cunt…..wanna hear more?” 

“Your wish.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“Your wish too.” 

Suddenly Sebastian’s windpipe was squeezed with surprising strength and agility and he wheezed, trying not let the car turn turtle as it skidded, hit a series of trash cans and rode over a kerb before screeching back on the road. It zigzagged dangerously as Sebastian found his vision blurring, but somehow Seb was not scared for himself, not at all. He knew Jim’s bark was worse than his bite and he wouldn’t really let Sebastian die. But he did worry for Jim getting hurt in case there was an accident. 

With great difficulty he got them into an abandoned construction site and allowed a pile of sand to stop the car naturally and come to a complete halt. 

As soon as the car stopped, Sebastian was about to breathe again. The great jerk the vehicle gave at the sudden stop had made Jim let go of the tie with which he was strangling the sniper. Sebastian coughed hard as he gulped in air, then he felt his neck, sure that there were marks there already. Those would deepen soon and he’d have to wear high collared shirts and keep the top button closed so nobody noticed. He turned his head and saw Jim sitting at the backseat, looking more like a sulking child and less like the manic demon he became when he was really angry. “Hey there,” Sebastian coughed and wheezed, “Are you all right sir? You not hurt right?” 

“You think I am a whore just waiting to be fucked?” Jim’s voice was harsh, annoyed, accusatory. 

“No, didn’t mean that.” 

“Then why did you….” 

“Just answered you the same way you spoke sir.” 

“You know I am your boss and if I so wish I can kill you and feed you to the rats. You know that don’t you, you blockhead?” 

“I do. Pardon me for not letting that knowledge get in the way of my life or my duty.” 

“I curse and yell at you so much, I have abused you and tried to kill you too, doesn’t t effect you at all?” 

“You asked me this before.” 

“You didn’t answer me before.” 

Sebastian backed the vehicle out of the place and turned the GPRS on again, following the directions to get back on track. “What difference does it make if I answer or not? Say, if I say that I do get affected by all your words and everything else you do to me, how will it change anything? Nothing will change. So I choose to be silent and handle things my way.” 

Jim was quiet after that. For the next fifty minutes they took to drive to their destination, he didn’t utter a single word. Just sat and looked out of the window with a blank expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manic Jim is manic. It will take a long time and a lot of 'passed tests' from Sebastian for him to get into a better space.


	6. You do need me Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim learns a lesson but is too stubborn to admit it

The house was a Victorian-style property that sat atop a small hill overlooking the rest of the city that spread out over that island. It was isolated from the next property by a good square mile on all sides and the sixteen feet high walls around it made it appear like a fortress. 

A butler and a cook, who apparently also doubled up as Brandon’s private secretary and gardener respectively, greeted them at the huge imposing gate. Sebastian parked the car and looked around, there had to be at least twenty bedrooms in that huge house and the courtyard and backyard had enough acreage to put even an English country estate to shame. In a crowded place like Hong Kong this was a very rare asset to have. 

“I bought this place and asked him to build his laboratory here,” Jim explained as they marched inside, “Once his work is done he will head back to Florida, where his family lives. I will take this place back then. Had to demolish three other properties to give this place the isolation it deserves otherwise we could be spied upon. Hong Kong has become a can of packed sardines, flats becoming smaller and road getting narrower. Now don’t walk so slowly…..what don’t walk so fast, don’t get ahead of me, walk behind me like the faithful pet that you are. Got it Colonel Sebastian Augustus Moran?” 

“Yes very much sir.” 

“You better.” 

“Sure sir.” 

“Don’t try to do that now.” 

“Do what?” 

“Act like that devoted puppy from military. All bravado and machismo but beneath the hard exterior it’s all ‘yes sir’ and ‘very well sir’. Wuss, total and absolute wuss.” 

“On the contrary a strong man is the only one who can call someone sir, follow them around even if they are berated and abused about it, keep doing his duty despite being called names for doing so, oh no I don’t think I am being a wuss at all sir.” 

Jim glared daggers at him, “You trying to patronize me Moran?” 

The argument was halted abruptly by the arrival of Brandon Hong. For a Chinese man he was fairly tall and bulky, almost Seb’s height and possibly twenty pounds over his body weight. But unlike the ex-soldier, he was not muscular but a little bit on the flabby side. 

He greeted Jim warmly, praised him to the sky, called him ‘uncrowned king of the world’ and led him away from Sebastian. The blonde followed, not wanting to let Jim out of his sight, when the scientist turned and looked at him coldly. 

“I have known Mr Moriarty Junior for ten years and his late father for twenty-five years. You can trust him with me. As for the safety measures taken within this property, it is very secure and without my permission nobody goes out or comes in. All technology, all my inventions and of course a few of them are yours too chief.” He looked at a beaming Jim, “I have some gifts for you.” 

“Wow, I love gifts,” Jim said. So he likes gifts, Sebastian filed that information somewhere a the back of his mind. In the meantime, Brandon and Jim had walked ahead. 

“Boss,” Sebastian frowned, unsure of leaving the man alone. Jim just waved dismissively and disappeared around the corner without a backward glance. Normally his behaviour was like this, dismissive, rude, downright annoying at times, so Sebastian was not too concerned. He would hover around and keep an eye on the man nonetheless. However, the look Brandon gave him made his doubts double. There was something about that man’s eyes, something utterly cold and still and dark there, which gave him the creeps. It was like staring into the eyes of a shark. He had had the misfortune of seeing one up close during a sailing holiday during his college days and those cold, dead eyes haunted him even now. 

***

“I really need to see the robot now,” Jim insisted. 

“Don’t you like your gifts Jim, you haven’t even opened them yet,” Brandon insisted. 

Jim looked a bit offended but before he could say something Brandon started opening the beautifully packaged gifts and showing them to him one by one. “Look at this one chief, a gold tipped pen that triples up as a tracking device and a camera. These shoes, you can adjust the grip on the sole with a press of a button and walk on ice, rock, sand, snow, slippery vegetation and dry surface. Glass and fire resistant. Then there is this hat which can be used to waive off all radio and mobile signals. Which means if you wear this then nobody can track your cell phone. Good device to keep if you want to stay in touch with a selected few while giving the cops a slip. There is also this fake house plant, which can double up as an air purifier…..” 

“I am here for two more days so there is enough time to open gifts,” Jim said a bit curtly now, “You know how I hate being slowed down.” 

“The robot is ready Mr Moriarty.” 

“Then why can’t you show it to me?” 

“I need to test a few parts still. For that I need your notes.” 

“What? My notes? Why do you need my notes? I had discussed and shared my suggestions on the blue print some time ago, hadn’t I? You know very well that I don’t record my notes anywhere, as it could fall into enemy hands or the police and cause a lot of heartburn.” 

“Too bad,” Brandon stood up to his full height and gave Jim a rather defiant and ‘I dare you’ look, “I do need those notes.” 

Something about his eyes and his tone didn’t make sense. He was a polite man, devoted to the Moriarty’s, not this inscrutable and haughty man. Jim was on his guard immediately and took out his gun but Brandon activated a band he was wearing on his wrist and instantly the small handgun shot out of Jim’s grip and stuck to the other man’s wrist, against the metallic surface of the band. 

Jim knew this was all kinds of bad. He had been brave and meticulous in his operations, his natural intelligence and brilliant mind always gave him the edge over others in dealings and negotiations, but that didn’t mean he was without his flaws. His biggest and perhaps the only flaw was his ego, which forbade him to listen to anyone else but his own voice and which made him view others as lesser mortals incapable of hurting him for real. His dad had saved his arse a few times when his impulsiveness and stubbornness had landed him into sticky situations but now he had nobody. Dad was a dead man six feet underground and he had left Sebastian behind. 

He looked at the door as the tall man approached him step by step. 

“No point boy, that one is locked.” 

“You can’t get away with this.” 

“I can. You have no idea what I have become.” 

“I am not giving you my side of the plans nor will I let you keep this robot. You stupid fool, nobody betrays Jim Moriarty and lives to tell the tale.” 

Brandon’s eyes were now truly slits as he laughed a hyena laughter. “That’s provided Jim Moriarty himself lives to tell the tale. You see, sometimes you corner yourself or bring yourself to the edge of the cliff, so you could be mauled or pushed over. Maybe you could have listened to that faithful dog of yours and allowed him in. But I was banking on you pushing him back and you did just that. You didn’t disappoint me.” 

Jim kept up a brave front, telling the approaching man he wouldn’t budge from his position. He filtered out all sounds except for the ominous words Brandon said or the counter answers he gave to him, denying him his requests. Still, he did hear the distant thumps that slowly grew louder and louder. A glass of water on the table next to him moved a few inches because of those vibrations and fell on the rug. 

Suddenly the door crashed open and an enraged and worried Sebastian burst in and lunged at Brandon Hong. 

But the scientist seemed to have acquired superhuman strength in some way because he simply lifted Sebastian clean in the air, two feet above the ground. But Sebastian also gripped his head with both hands and tried to twist it. 

Jim got to his feet and picked up a heavy golf club that lay in the corner of the room, ready to strike the scientist, when he noticed something sticking out of Brandon’s ear. In a flash he knew what to do. He picked up the jug of water from the coffee table and poured it down the man’s ear before smashing it over his head. A series of weird sounds emerged and suddenly Sebastian had unscrewed his assailant’s head. 

It spun around like a bottle cap and landed on the ground, pretty much like Sebastian’s feet which had also found the earth once more. The lifeless body of ‘Brandon Hong’ fell on the ground and a bunch of wires, tubes, blinking little devices and chips scattered all over. 

“Holy Mother of God,” Sebastian clasped his mouth in shock as he covered Jim’s smaller frame bodily, to protect him from any possible harm, “So it was true!” Jim clasped his arm and peered out over the taller man’s shoulders as the robot, which they had once confused as the scientist Brandon Hong, now lay like a scrapheap at their feet. The fingers still twitched while the severed head lay with its dead eyes fixed upon them. Jim shuddered and kicked it away some distance. Sebastian grabbed Jim and checked him thoroughly, earning him a slew of slangs and cuss words from his boss who kept asking him to go fuck himself and stop manhandling him. 

“Yeah you are fine,” Sebastian said finally, “Good trick with the water.” 

“The quickest and best one,” Jim sounded proud, “I saw a thin strip of metal and fibre glass sticking out of his ear, thanks to your assault. I knew immediately we weren’t dealing with the man who built the robot but the robot itself.” 

“You built this?” Sebastian asked in an incredulous voice, his eyes wide with disbelief. 

“Yes,” Jim slid down on the ground next to him, “But it was too close to the original I guess.” 

He paused for a few moments and asked, “But how the fuck did you know what was going on here? I mean I was in trouble but I hadn’t asked for help nor did he shout or give any indication of any struggle or violence.” 

“Guan Ming Yu, I mean….his butler told me the tale,” Sebastian confessed, “When you left me behind he approached me immediately, seeking help. Only problem, he speaks only Mandarin and Cantonese and all of Professor Hong’s visitors of late have been foreigners, who don’t speak or understand either. Fortunately I understand and speak some Mandarin too, so I understood his real master was locked up and the one that took you inside was the robot. I didn’t believe him till I broke the lock on the door and rescued the real scientist from the loft room. He told me he had been held prisoner for three weeks as the robot, too powerful to be controlled, began to take over. It called you so it could keep all its manufacturing secrets, part of which you held.” 

As if on cue, three people entered the room through the broken door. All of them looked scared but once they saw the broken rogue robot, they breathed easy. One was the butler, the other was the cook woman and the third was undoubtedly the real Brandon Hong. 

“Abort this project Hong,” Jim snapped at him. 

“I share your opinion sir,” Hong returned. 

Sebastian noted that while the robot and the real Hong looked absolutely similar, the human being had human eyes with all range of emotions locked away in them. The machine clearly did not. Which was the reason why Sebastian had found that look so odd and eerie. “The robot had one or two weaknesses, which could have proved fatal for it,” Hong explained, “One of its components couldn’t stand exposure to the sun and the it didn’t have the ability to drive a car or bike. Jim knew how to fix both, so it waited for him. In the meantime I was the only one who was fixing its coding errors, hence it had kept me alive as well. Through my trusted servants, who were living in fear and danger, I had been trying to send out messages to the world but that thing was too clever, too cruel. We simply couldn’t escape our fate till you two came along.” 

Sebastian grinned smugly at Jim who merely snapped, “You did your job. No need to get all monkey grins over that. You look ugly, now shut that mouth.” 

For the first time Sebastian felt insecure about his looks which, up to this point in life, he had always been told was quite remarkable.

***

If Jim felt grateful for Sebastian saving his life, he certainly didn’t say anything to express his thankfulness. But Sebastian had watched Jim in close quarters for three and half months and knew by now how to pick up those little clues and hints from his behaviour. For example, he allowed Sebastian to dine with himself and Brandon on their last night in Hong Kong. He didn’t yell at Seb for suggesting they use a stripped-down version of the super robot and sell them to military. The mastermind had even allowed Sebastian to sleep in his room just so the sniper could keep him safe. And when Jim closed a few other small deals with various members of the Hong Kong mafia, he took Sebastian’s advice and stayed in the background, using Brandon as the face and voice. 

The trip was not a complete failure. It had its successes too. The smaller deals had gone off well and advance payments had been made. The idea of a stripped down super robot had already been shared with the Russians and a good offer had come up. 

On their way back to England in Jim’s luxurious private jet, the smaller man suddenly showed a burst of intimacy that left Sebastian reeling. All through these days, his attraction towards Jim had not diminished at all despite the man’s totally crappy attitude. If anything, the man’s whims and quirks and dirty tongue, his cruel and ruthless side, his unhinged ways, everything only seemed to draw Sebastian closer to him. But from Jim’s side there had been no reciprocation, not even a tiny bit, except for those moments when he had walked around naked or partly clad to mock Sebastian’s libido. But on this flight, he did three things that confused the hell out of Sebastian. 

First he removed the hand rest and snuggled up to the taller man, resting his head on his shoulder. Sebastian stiffened and asked if he wanted to use the cabin to sleep but Jim replied he was comfy that way. 

Scarcely had Sebastian adjusted to this position when Jim began to watch porn he had downloaded on his phone. The cabin was empty and the sound was turned to its lowest, but sitting beside Jim and inches away from the phone, Seb heard and saw it all. 

Then, as if this was not torture enough, Jim suddenly asked him a very private and personal question. “When did you first fuck a woman and when did you first get fucked by a man?” His tone remained innocent and curious and his deep brown eyes looked all soulful and dreamy but Sebastian knew better than to buy into that. Jim was master manipulator and if a punch didn’t get him something, a pout certainly did. He just wanted to test Sebastian’s limits, it seemed. You got a nice arse Jim but you are an arse yourself, Sebastian thought darkly, as Jim repeated the question and demanded an answer. 

He cleared his throat, stared away from Jim and at the clouds outside the window. “With a woman it would be when I was thirteen,” he rasped, “With a man, it would be around fifteen or sixteen.” 

“That’s when you first fucked a woman and was taken by a man? Ever do threesomes?” 

“I have not been taken by a man. I don’t bottom. Threesomes yes, but with two women. Haven’t been to bed with both women and men at the same time.” 

“How about with two men or more? Like an orgy? And have one of those men take you hard while others watch or fuck your mouth?” 

“Jim what are you getting at? I am your employee, I am a beneficiary in your father’s will and I happen to live in your apartment because protecting you is a twenty-four by seven job. But none of these obligations include being your sex slave or your whore.” 

Jim gave him an irritable shove in the chest, “Don’t yap so much you silly cunt. Let me sleep. It’s been a few tiring days and I am tired.” 

The sudden change in his tone was something Seb had gotten used to by now. So he resigned himself to the situation, reached over for a travel neck-cushion and adjusted it around his own neck and shoulders. This was going to be a long flight and he was about to get confined to one position for the rest of it. 

Jim hummed in approval at his actions. With an exaggerated yawn he pulled the fleece blanket snug over his body and tucked it under his chin. Moments later he was fast asleep, lying face first against Sebastian’s broad chest, one of his hands resting on the big man’s lap. 

Seb was hard in his pants, stiff in the neck, and uncomfortable to the very bone. Having Jim so close and yet so far felt horrid. But he didn’t make a single sound of protest as Jim slept for nine of the ten and half hour flight, waking up only thirty minutes before they landed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story Jim's wariness about Seb's obvious feelings towards him (and his own burgeoning feelings towards his bodyguard) comes from a rather shattering end he experienced to an earlier relationship. 
> 
> A relationship with a certain consulting detective.


	7. High Highs and Low Lows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's bipolar disorder shows and Sebastian sees a different side to the man

The Hong Kong incident was followed by two weeks of high’s. Several deals, both legitimate and illegitimate, had been sealed or concluded successfully and Jim was like a busy bee, buzzing around all the time and displaying enormous levels of energy. After that long nap on the flight he had hardly slept for more than two or three hours each night and seemed to be unable to eat, drink or hold still for too long. Even a tenacious beast like Sebastian found it hard to keep up. 

“Careful of Jim’s mood,” Jacob warned him as he dropped him home after a dangerous but successful hit one Wednesday, “You have no idea which state you’d find him when you reach home. By the way, in the past few hours that you were out, he changed from the penthouse to a townhouse on Conduit Street.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes but said nothing. He had heard of Jim’s fetish of changing houses. He would spend about three or four months at the most at one address before moving to the other. No friendship with neighbours, no neighbourhood walks, no house parties. These were his rules to stay anonymous and obscure. Sebastian understood the reasons and had followed most of the rules but still, moving out of that penthouse felt like a bit like a loss. He had grown quite fond of that place because that was the first house he had shared with someone after nearly fourteen years. The last time he had someone else living in his house it had been his mum, and home was the cottage she owned those days. 

This penthouse had also felt like home. With Jimmy. 

“My possessions,” he said. 

“Already moved to the new place,” came the reply. 

“In just six hours?” 

“Oh we have helped him move in half that time, sometimes one third.” 

“Oh okay….but why do you feel he will be in some worrisome state?” 

“High high’s and low low’s. He has those episodes sometimes.” 

Jacob hadn’t been kidding. He had driven Jim to his new house from the old one so he must have noticed the mood, because his deduction was completely accurate. When Sebastian stepped into their new ‘home’, he saw Jim lying on the couch with a bottle of pills. 

“James Junior,” Sebastian thundered, noticing that they were powerful sedatives, “Give me that bottle now.” 

“No,” Jim replied. He didn’t sound like his usual dismissive and rude self, nor the manic or hyperactive man he sometimes became. He sounded tired, defeated, almost lethargic. Even his eyelids were blinking sluggishly. 

“Just give it to me,” Sebastian snatched his away, uncaring of the consequences. He had expected Jim to react, yell, curse, abuse or attack him but none of that happened. Jim started to curl up into a ball and when their fingers brushed, he almost gasped at the cold, clammy skin there. He touched Jim’s forehead. It was way too cold. 

“I need four of them,” Jim murmured in a flat voice, as if it was a recorded voice coming out of him, “Then the noises will stop. Or give me the blade, there are bloodstains on it still. Maybe the gun will do, I can’t find it….where have you kept it?” 

Once again the full implication of the responsibilities, that James Moriarty Senior had thrust on his shoulders, began to dawn on him. It was much tougher than his initial impressions of it and he felt bogged down and frightened at the prospect of losing this challenge. Confident as he was, the stricken look in those brown eyes and the hopelessness and despair in that voice gave him jitters and made the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. Jim was clearly surrounded by a sense of doom and that doom often led to a tendency towards self-destruction. Jim Moriarty could easily be saved from his enemies, man or robot, but how was Seb supposed to save him from himself? “There is no gun or knife or blade or pill that can make the damned voices stop,” he said firmly, “You have to wait it out Jim. You are strong enough to wait it out, I know it and so do you. By the way....have you consulted a doctor earlier?” 

Predictably he got no proper answers. All Jim said was a stuttering and near inaudible “I….I….I am…..” 

“Hang in there, be right with you in a few minutes.” 

Staying close by and always keeping Jim in his visual range, Sebastian made calls to delegate his tasks to other members of their team and then cancelled all of his boss’s appointments for the next week. If more time was needed for his recovery, he would extend that time from one week to two weeks after taking a stock check three days later. 

Then he called Nigella. 

“I need you to be on duty eight to eight every day for the next seven days. We have moved from Victoria Avenue to Conduit Street. You know that address?” 

“Yes sir, I do.” 

“Good. Um….you may have to be on call even at night. If we need you of course.” 

“Done sir. All well?” 

“Nope. But nothing to discuss further.” 

“I will be at Conduit Street by eight tomorrow morning.” 

He also called Jacob and asked him to be on standby for the next few days and be able to reach the house in ten minutes whenever his services were needed. Jacob understood instantly and agreed, asking no further questions. Mary was the next person he called and she immediately contacted some other snipers and two additional bodyguards, per his instructions. The street and the townhouse would have to be under close watch and protection for a week, considering how vulnerable and unpredictable Jim’s condition was. Sebastian didn’t want any of his boss’s enemies taking advantage of the situation. 

“Hey Sebastian,” Mary said at the end of the conversation, “Well done man. Now someone is there to look after him, which wasn’t the case before. I am sure Mr. Moriarty senior would be smiling down at you right now.” 

***

Praises and preparations aside, Sebastian had no idea what he was about to deal with. When the entire thing hit him full force, he found himself willing to exchange his most dangerous mission with this state of things, because at least his duty as a sniper was more predictable and less heart-breaking. He could take a stranger's life easily but watching the man he loved slowly dissolve into a silent, immobile little thing that neither spoke nor listened, was shattering. Jim was not himself at all as he lay there, small and helpless and utterly quiet. No matter how many times Sebastian asked, not a word or sound passed his lips and not even a flicker of recognition showed in his eyes. He lay there like a limp, inert doll, devoid of any responses and reactions. 

Then, when it became too noisy in his head, he burst out into sobs. 

“Bloody Christ,” Sebastian jumped up from the chair on which he had been dozing next to the bed. This was the fourth night of Jim’s current condition and was better of the three nights before. Jim had slept easily, deeply and on time. But only to wake up a few hours later at 1 am, like this, a bundle of sobs and hiccups and heavy breathing as he attempted to roll away from Sebastian. “Wait boss,” the sniper yelled and lunged for him but it was too late and he missed grasping the smaller man by an inch. Jim rolled off the bed and landed on the floor with a hard thump. 

“Mother of God,” Sebastian quickly picked Jim up, “What the hell are you trying to do?” 

Jim simply stared into his face. God, he looked broken. 

“You….you let me fall,” Jim sobbed again. 

“What…..I….” Sebastian stopped and smiled. Instead of being defensive he decided to enjoy this moment. After all, this was the first response Jim had given him in the past seventy-two odd hours. 

“You don’t care…..you will go away.” 

“Jim, write it on stone today, unless you kill me I am going nowhere.” 

“It is…it is so….noisy….make it go away.” 

That was when Sebastian felt helpless. He had no clue what to do about this noise, not when he had not an iota of understanding as to what Jim’s mental illness really was. He had to look it up, study about it, consult with a good doctor and find ways to deal better with it. But first, he had to stop Jim from crying his eyes out and shaking like a leaf in the strong wind. He hated seeing this normally powerful and authoritative man reduced to someone so small and weak and broken, it was unsettling and saddening. It was almost like watching a Titan fall apart, of David defeated by Goliath. 

“Jimmy,” he suddenly had an idea and decided to try it, “Do you want to do some star gazing for a while? The skies are clear tonight.” 

At first Jim didn’t even seem to hear what he had said. He kept whimpering and sobbing till Sebastian had repeated himself nearly five times. It was then that the words became louder in his head and the noise dimmer slightly. He exhaled with momentary relief and stared at the sniper, nodding slowly. “It will help, believe me,” Sebastian said as he scooped Jim up in his arms and quickly covered him in a robe, scarf and slid feet warmers on him, “The fresh air will be good for your body and since you love stars and the sky so much, it will do good to your mind, this might even stop the voices a bit yeah. Now come on, can you walk with me or do you want me to carry you all the way?” 

“Carry me?” 

That didn’t sound like a command but another whimper. 

Sebastian found that he liked the commands and curses more. 

“Sure. Put your arms around my neck Jimmy.” He was freely using Jim’s name and nickname and cared a toss about what would happen when Jim was better and remembered those liberties. For now, this man was in his charge and not in charge. He had bigger concerns currently than Jim’s possible temper tantrums later, like calming Jim down to help him sleep for the rest of the night. He needed to sleep too.

It sure helped. Sebastian’s idea had somehow worked, though he would have preferred it to have worked without the intervention of meds. 

The cold and sharp air of the night woke up some part of Jim’s brain and the blood circulation to his body improved as Seb made him walk around the roof a bit. Then they started watching the stars and since Seb had cleverly brought a small telescope with himself, Jim got the additional excitement of peering in closely at the constellations. He started to talk, hesitantly at first and then more freely, giving Sebastian a remarkably deep insight into astronomy. 

Sebastian had brought some supplies with him as they sat there. A thick blanket to sit on, another thicker one to cover up with, water, hot cocoa and some brandy, as well as Jim’s medications to help him calm down and sleep. 

Jim was so absorbed in his star gazing that he pushed Sebastian’s hand roughly, causing the first pill to go flying in the air. Sebastian didn’t react. He took a second pill out calmly and popped it into Jim’s mouth, giving him a glass of water to drink. Once Jim had drank that, he offered some brandy. 

And so it went on till Jim fell asleep around three thirty. Sebastian was so exhausted by then that he fell asleep next to Jim, one of his arms wrapped around the man to keep him close, their bodies covered by the warmth of the same blanket. 

Seb woke up several hours later. 

He sat up with a jump when he saw it was mid-morning already and the sun was starting to climb higher in the skies. It had to be at least ten or ten thirty am. They were still lying on the now sunlit roof, the telescope, flask and bottles scattered around them. Or actually, he had been lying on the roof while Jim Moriarty sat beside him, cross legged, holding an umbrella over Sebastian to shield him from the sun. Sebastian blinked! So that’s why he had slept so long and so deeply. No wonder the sun’s rays hadn’t woken him up. Jim had been sitting there with that umbrella, like literally shielding him from the sun and watching over him like a guardian angel. 

“J-Jim…boss….why?” 

“Y-You did the same for me….I-I-I woke up so many times and saw….you were watching over m-me li-like this.” 

“You shouldn’t. I am in your service and this is my work to do, not yours.” 

“I wanted….to.” 

“Oh all right, thank you so much.” 

“Um….thank you too….coming here was a …..good i-idea.” 

“Wasn’t it?” Sebastian smiled broadly, “Now come on, let’s head downstairs and get you some coffee and breakfast yeah?” 

“Can we go to the zoo?” 

“What?” 

“I said to the z….” 

“I heard that. What I mean is….do you really want to go to the zoo? Like for the entire day?” 

“Yes.” 

Sebastian tried not to let the look of surprise ad disbelief show on his face. Jim had asked him to do worse things than this, like ‘blow up that car, I don’t like it’ or ‘shoot that cat, it’s annoying me’ or even ‘get me the plans of the latest biochemical weapons UK is building, now’. But this simple, almost childish demand of a visit to the zoo, in an insecure and small voice, was what came across as the toughest order to obey. 

What if Jim suddenly laughed at him and called him an idiot for even believing such a triviality could be possible? 

Oh sod that, he thought, he can insult all he wants later. For now I will take him to the zoo just as he asked me to. 

***

Sebastian couldn’t recall the last time he had visited the zoo with so much enthusiasm or had so much fun spending a few pounds. He found himself grinning from ear-to- ear as he bought candy floss, hotdogs, cans of coca cola, bottled water, some souvenirs and a few other knick-knacks. Jim stayed close by him all day, and seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself as they walked around the zoo and looked at the animals. Jim noted down their scientific names and origins, then spoke at length to Sebastian about each species, then made him repeat the information just so he knew the sniper had actually listened to him. 

He noticed a change in Jim. From the quiet pain he had been enduring, he was moving towards a certain amount of redemption and self-reclamation. He was slowly emerging from the shell of loneliness and desperation to take a few baby steps in the direction of talking to others (he chatted with a few kids), talking to Sebastian, even showing enough energy to walk around for hours at end. 

But it was tiring for him in his current state so he fell asleep, quite predictably, on their ride home. Sebastian drove slowly and carefully, not intending to wake him up with a sudden jerk of the car, and managed to get them home safe and sound before dinner time. He wasn’t sure Jim would have dinner though, so he carried the man straight to bed, undressed him and tucked him in. A good night’s sleep would do him a world of good. Truth be told, Sebastian needed that time for himself too. He needed a few hours to complete his jobs on Jim’s behalf and also to clear his own head. 

He was falling in love with Jim. 

“God no,” he prayed silently as he had a frugal meal of soup and bread, “Please help me. I can’t do this, I can’t. He will never love me back.” 

His religious mother’s words came back to him instantly. Love isn’t meant to be selfish, it’s meant to be generous. Ask not what the one you love can do for you, ask yourself what you can do for them. 

Well then, he was heading towards heart break. But that was nothing he couldn’t handle. He had handled it once in the army. He would handle it again. 

He woke Jim up at ten thirty to ask if he wanted dinner. The brunette asked for water, went to the washroom, then came back and curled up in bed once more. “No dinner,” he spoke in a much better voice, laced with sleep but not depression, “You’ll be here right?” 

“Not going anywhere,” Seb replied and again slept in that uncomfortable chair all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The zoo incident is a real life inspiration. A friend of mine who suffers from bipolar, finds some comfort in visiting museums and the zoo when she has her low moments (sometimes days), mainly because those were her comforting moments while growing up in a difficult household.


	8. You didn’t sleep with someone did you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A jealous Jim surfaces

The next day Jim was decidedly better. He was still in that zone where he needed Sebastian and wasn’t exactly his own cocky self, but he was at least able to read his mails, read the newspaper, take a bath, let Sebastian shave his stubble (he was still not allowed the use of a razor or allowed anywhere near knives and guns) and watched sport on television with a beer mug nestled in his hands. He didn’t talk much but he did take a report of the jobs Sebastian had finished in the past five days. 

Seb was happy to see him get better but also felt a pang of sadness when Jim announced he would be taking his meds but wouldn’t be needing Sebastian in his room that night. 

//This had to happen sooner or later, don’t mope over it, take it on the chin and move on//. Sebastian hardened his jaw and went to bed that night, woke up several times and checked on Jim who appeared to be sleeping soundly, and had weird dreams about Jim turning into a spider and stinging him, or turning into a magpie and flying off with Seb’s heart in his claws. When he woke up in the morning he sensed a change in the atmosphere in the house. He heard Jim in the home office, a signal that he had woken up early and started working, like his usual workaholic self. Things were back to where they were a little less than a week before. 

If he felt shattered inside, knowing that Jim would keep him at arm’s length again, he didn’t show it. He was happy too, happy to see the man up and about and being his normal self. He even overheard him saying he had somehow managed to get a top-secret plan of the German government and was now trading that off with the Russian government for a small favor towards his business. 

Jim Moriarty was back. 

“Well done,” Albert called him and told him as if he had achieved something. 

Sebastian felt lonely as he watched Jim get back to his criminal mastermind and businessman mode. He settled down to concentrate on his jobs, the calls he had with some clients and associates and scrolling through the photographs he had taken on their trip to the zoo a few days ago. As two days passed, those photographs began to look like a distant memory. 

As if it had never happened, or happened in his dreams or imagination. 

He had made the mistake of asking Jim if he was okay. Jim replied by splashing his hot coffee on Sebastian’s hand and snarling ‘Don’t treat me like a china doll you feckin eejit’. The insults kept flowing in again after that. 

‘Why are you so slow’

‘You smell like a bitch on heat’

‘Get me tea. And keep it hot, not cold as your wits are.’ 

Sebastian gladly sank back into the usual life, treating Jim’s intermediate low days as just a small detour before the Jim Juggernaut was back on its original track. After all his job was to ensure Jim was hale and hearty, safe and protected, not to be wanting his affections and attention. That would be a self-defeating purpose. 

A week later, as a weekend approached and he found himself devoid of any particular assignment on Saturday and Sunday, he decided to take an evening off and meet his old friends. They had been calling and texting him since his breakoff with Zac and Tom especially wanted to have a chat with him. Realizing he needed a break, Sebastian went into Jim’s room on a Friday night. It took his all his courage to do so since Jim, despite his size and crazy side, was also a very cruel and powerful man and capable of having anyone skinned at his own free will. But this had to be done, a Saturday evening with friends was not too much to ask for, and he was determined to get Jim to say a ‘yes’. 

He found the man typing away on a tablet, a phone and a laptop at the same time while watching someone on a desktop monitor. Sebastian had long stopped wondering how the man could do so many things at the same time. It was a unique power this freak possessed and something that was beyond Sebastian’s comprehension, so better leave it there, state your business and get out of here quickly. 

He didn’t seem to have heard Seb coming in so the lieutenant cleared his throat. Without looking up Jim barked, “If you have a scratchy throat take some feckin medicine. Why are you disturbing me with that odd noise?” 

“Wanted to ask you something J…..sir.” It was back to sir now, no more Jim or Jimmy or the occasional Jimbo.

“Make it quick.” 

“All my current assignments are taken care of, the delegations are minimal, there is nothing in the pipeline for the next two days for me….” 

“Tell me something I don’t know cunt.” 

“I was hoping to take the evening off tomorrow. I can sleep in on Sunday morning too, as there is nowhere I need to be. However, in case I am needed for a job, I will still be able to take it up for Sunday. I recover pretty quickly from an evening of drinking.” 

“Oh yeah whatever yes go leave me alone.” 

Okay that was dismissive as usual, a bit rude and careless, but permission granted. That was what he had come in here for after all, not for a smile or a cuddle from Jim. A sharp ache shot up his side when he remembered holding Jim during one of his silent phases, right here in this room, his chin resting atop that head, Jim’s breath hot on his neck as those small fists clutched at his shirt. 

“Anything else?” Jim snarled, looking up for a moment. 

“No,” Sebastian said softly, “I was just leaving.” 

***

That evening turned out to be a life-saver for Sebastian. For nearly five months he had done nothing other than work, work and work some more. He had not only been working for Jim, he had also kept working on his consultant role with the gun manufacturer, not wishng to give that up because guns and arms were his passion. He had reduced his full time commitment to a part time one though, so he didn’t need to spend hours every day for this job, but he hadn’t given it up completely since he loved it so much. But working two jobs (one of them practically a 24/7 one) had tired him out mentally and physically and he loved letting his hair down for a change. 

“We still don’t think you did the right thing by refusing Zac,” Tom was his usual honest self, “He was a good man, he still loves you Seb.” 

“I don’t deny that, I know it man,” Sebastian replied, not sure how he had cut Zac out of his life so effortlessly and not felt much more than a tiny assault of guilt, “I like him and respect him too but not enough to give up what I had taken on. I know it doesn’t make much sense to all of you but I am needed there, I had promised my Godfather and I intend to keep that promise. Working as a Vice President in the Moriarty corporation is something I enjoy doing, and if I continue to do that then I cannot move to US like we had planned earlier. I need to be here.”

Tom, Stephen and Annette, his friends who had joined him, looked on appalled. As usual it was Tom who answered. 

“He was willing to come down here and settle down with you Seb.” 

“Yeah but that’s not what I want.” 

“Why not?” 

//Because if he gets entangled in this life I lead, he won’t be safe. I have no idea how Jim would react to me being in a relationship//. Though Zac wasn't any of Jim's fucking business and the little madman had no right to meddle into Seb's personal matters, exposing Zac to Jim’s wrath was not a bright idea either. Sebastian answered diplomatically, “Too many sacrifices from his side. It makes people resentful after a while and I didn’t want to make a start on a wrong foot.” 

Annette shrugged, “It seems you were not that into him.” 

Sebastian shrugged, “Maybe not.” 

“Easy on that buddy,” Stephen pointed out, “You are downing alcohol like water. I know you can hold it all down but it’s not very good to go overboard.” 

//I am trying to forget how fucked up my life has become, I love someone I cannot have, someone loves me and I let them go, I am not sure if the path I have taken will eventually meet with a destructive and violent end or place me in incarceration//. 

“It’s a Saturday evening guys,” he raised his glass and smiled a bit too broadly, “I don’t get many Saturdays off. Let’s forget the limits and go a bit overboard for a change huh?” 

They played cards and drank most of the night away, chatting like the good old friends that they were. Stephen had already told his wife he would be late and Annette’s husband, who was supposed to join them, told her that he couldn’t make it but she was welcome to enjoy with her friends for as long as she liked. Around 3 am they ended their happy social reunion, where they had picked up the threads of their friendship exactly from where they had left off. It had been a fun and fulfilling time and all of them were more than a bit tipsy. Since Tom was the only one who didn’t have a family yet, he offered to take Sebastian home for the night. Seb agreed, realizing he was in no condition to ride a motorcycle. 

The moment he entered the guest bedroom in Tom’s flat, he went off to sleep/passed out after drinking two tall glasses of water to avoid dehydration. He didn’t notice that his phone, which he had set on silent mode, had been glowing brightly with repeated calls from Jim Moriarty all evening before running out of battery and switching off.

He had been with his old friends but part of his mind and heart had remained with Jim and he had kept wondering what the man was up to. He had set up bodyguards and monitoring systems, and instructed them that he should be alerted in case there was any trouble. There had been no alerts on a buzzer he carried, an invention of Jim the Genius, but even then he remained worried about his boss.

It was no wonder therefore that as he slept in a drunken stupor he dreamed about that one man – Jim Moriarty. Even in that state Jim wouldn’t leave him alone. 

***

He was back home at half past twelve in the noon, scarcely forty-five minutes after he had woken up after a much needed eight-hour sleep. 

The first thing he did was to connect his phone to the charger and plug it on. Then he had just finished wolfing down a slice of raw bread (he hadn’t waited for breakfast with Tom, despite the latter’s insistence), when Jim burst into the kitchen. 

Sebastian set down the second slice of bread on the plate. His eyes were fixed on Jim. There was clearly something wrong, something terrible had happened, because Jim looked positively murderous with rage. By now Sebastian knew exactly when Jim was annoyed, when he was offended, when he was angry and when he was mad with rage. This seemed to be the last stage of anger, where he could skin anyone just to vent his feelings. His nostrils were flaring, his eyes were bloodshot and his entire diminutive frame was taut with tension and dark fury. 

“Um….you all right sir?” 

“FUCKER!” 

Sebastian gasped and tried to open his mouth to speak but Jim came flying at him in rage and stabbed him on the forearm with a fork. It hurt like a bitch but Sebastian was agile enough to anticipate the second blow and blocked it, snatching the fork out of the smaller man’s hands. Jim growled like an animal and lunged at the knives, which Sebastian promptly picked up and put on the highest shelf. Enraged by this defiance Jim let out another animal snarl (Jim being Jim he probably expected Sebastian to stand there and get bloodied simply because it was Jim dealing the blows). A stinging slap landed on his right cheek and Jim pushed him and kicked at his shins, throwing and shoving things around at the same time. The commotion in the kitchen, accompanied by Jim cursing like a sailor at him, was deafening. 

“Boss stop…what’s gotten into you.” 

“Arsehole, you slacker, you no good son of a bitch.” 

“But what….how…” 

“You didn’t answer my calls, what if I had died, what if I wanted you here….” 

“Jim please listen….” 

“Your phony little friends are more important….and you claim to be doing what my dad asked you to do. You lying no good shit!!!” 

He tried to hit Sebastian again but this time the soldier was better prepared. He grabbed Jim’s arms and restrained him with little difficulty, then reached out with his free arm and looked at his phone which was now back to life again. Oh God, thirty-six missed calls and thirteen messages. 

“Jim my phone was on silent. I had taken your permission to go out.” 

“Let me go, let me go you jerk.” 

“I will, but not before you listen to me.” 

“I will turn you into shoes.” 

“Fine, do that. But before you skin me, give me just two minutes to explain.” 

Jim tried to break free of that grasp but Sebastian had used the Chinese ‘lock grip’ and he was totally immobile. Though his brain power was far superior, he knew Sebastian was the superior when it came to brute strength and combat techniques, hence he relented. 

“Spit it out you mongrel.” 

“Thanks Jim.” 

The mastermind scoffed at the liberty taken by Seb, of addressing him by his first name. Sebastian loosened his hold a little but didn’t let go. “I understand I made a mistake of not keeping an eye on my phone but that won’t be repeated, not even if you have given me time off and agreed to let me go for a few hours. It wasn’t intentional. But I had made arrangements for you to be watched and guarded. Four men stationed around the house and I had set up alarm systems to be sounded off should even a single intrusion or any threats occur. I had not slacked in my duties! My friends are not phony. They’re good eggs.” 

That set Jim off and he yelled, “They’re more important to you? More important than I am?” 

Sebastian blinked. 

“You didn’t even come back at night. Spending the night with some hooker?” 

Sebastian held his breath. Did Jim sound…..jealous? No, it couldn’t be. 

“A woman, a man who didn’t bring his spouse, another man who is single. If not a hooker, then nailing those fuck buddies huh?”

“Jim-Jim-Jim, you got it all wrong,” Sebastian could see the influence of the green-eyed monster on his boss, he was most definitely acting jealous and possessive now, which was baffling. “Annette has a husband and kids, her husband was about to join us but one of the kids had a cold and needed a parent at home. Stephen’s wife is pregnant. Tom is a divorcee, he is not into men at all. I stayed in his house because I was too drunk to ride back home.” 

“Then why didn’t you call Jacob to pick you up.” 

“I didn’t know that....me not coming back home one night was such a big deal for you.” 

Jim suddenly went limp in his arms, prompting Sebastian to let go. But as soon as that happened the little madman turned in his arms and grabbed him by his collar, “You had the evening off, not the night. Never take these liberties with me again. Do you UNDERSTAND?” 

“I do, won’t ever happen again.” 

“You didn’t sleep with someone did you?”

“I didn’t. I am sure your sources, who kept a tab on me and spied on me, told you as much.” 

“I….I was…Sebastian…I was….” The smaller man panted from residual anger and something else. Seb heard Jim stammering for the first time, as if unsure of what to say. Then, just as unexpectedly as that stammer, the man crushed their lips together in a harsh, biting kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has smut- FINALLY :-D


	9. Damaged Goods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intimacy at last but to what end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit and angsty, if the first category doesn't suit you read only the last section of this update!

Sebastian was so shocked out of his five senses that his brain refused to react. Jim was kissing him, his boss was kissing him, the object of his desire was kissing him. This was real. This had happened in his wet dreams often but they had been so unlikely and far-fetched from real life that he had never even dared to ever hope they would come true. But now, in these few seconds of blurry surrealism, this had actually happened. 

It was still happening. Jim was still kissing him and now he was standing on Sebastian’s feet to gain the height needed for his ministrations on the blonde ex-soldier’s lips. 

His body reacted before his mind did and suddenly he was kissing him back. Jim was pleased, he could hear, see and feel it. Hear and see because the smaller man moaned into the kiss and his eyes fell shut, feel because Jim’s cock was now getting harder against Sebastian’s thigh. The smaller man was now rubbing it insistently there and swaying on his feet, necessitating the full use of Sebastian’s strong arms to support him and keep him upright. The kiss deepened and Seb felt Jim suck on his tongue, a favor he was happy return almost immediately. 

God, this felt better than his dreams, better than any illusion or imagery. Jim’s kisses were clumsy and demanding but passionate and filled with desire. There was no denying the fact that the man was unbelievably aroused and the sounds he made were deliciously sexy. 

Sebastian’s body yelled at him to take the next step. 

His brain shouted at him to stop this right now. They would both regret it later. 

His body made him slide his hands down till they were grabbing the brunette’s pert butt cheeks and squeezing them. The answering hiss from Jim was sweetly arousing. 

His brain screamed ‘Don’t Seb, stop now’. 

Jim suddenly broke the kiss, having turned blue from lack of air. He took in deep gulping breaths of oxygen and moaned again, whispering ‘Bedroom’. 

Sebastian’s body won instantly, pushing his mind aside with force. All sounds in his brain died down and all he wanted now was to claim what was his. He wanted Jim, he wanted this man more than the air he breathed in at this moment, and there was no way he was letting this golden opportunity slip. He picked Jim up in his arms and rushed towards the bedroom. 

He dropped the man on the bed and watched the slender frame bounce on it while he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor, toeing off his boots at the same time. Jim pulled off his sleep shirt and let out a soft grunt as Sebastian landed on top of him. 

They kissed again, this time a bit softer, a little deeper than before, swapping saliva instead of blood. Their lips were sore but neither of them cared. 

“Mmmffff,” Jim went as he tried to get Sebastian’s jeans off. 

“Patience little one,” Sebastian grinned, finally getting the upper hand. 

Jim growled and slapped at his chest, always the bossy and controlling man, his impatience making his cock jerk in his flimsy pants. Sebastian chuckled, unbuckled his belt and tossed it away before pulling down his jeans and boxers in one smooth motion. He still had his socks on and probably looked ridiculous like this but he didn’t care. He nosed down a mewling Jim’s body and hooked his teeth on the elastic band of his pajama bottoms. Then, in a fluid and sensuous motion, he pulled the pajama bottoms down off his hips and down his ankles. Jim kicked them away, squirming and writhing under Sebastian’s openly admiring and hungry gaze. The air had heated up considerably between them and he felt as if he would come from a single touch to his cock, he was that aroused. 

He saw Jim stare in awe at his ten and half inch cock. It was huge and thick, the sort that would make the one getting drilled by it feel that place for days. But there was no fear in those dark orbs, only an intense need and a fiery look of possessiveness. Jim was ever defiant, ever cocky and ever the arrogant brat who could make mincemeat of what others called a ‘challenge’. 

It only made him want Jim more. 

“Lube,” Seb asked, not sure if Jim kept some close by. 

Jim took a bottle out from under the pillow and threw it on Sebastian’s face. It hit him in the eye, almost. 

“Shit, what are you doing?” 

“Stop being a sissy and get on with it.” 

“Can I….” 

“Yeah fucker, do it. What are you waiting for? The Queen’s invitation?” 

“God, you are bossy.” 

Jim snarled, “Don’t forget who the boss is then.” 

“I never will,” Sebastian held his gaze and held him down at the same time, “Do you have condoms? I don’t. I haven’t fucked anyone since I came to stay with you. I am clean, took a test a month ago just as part of my overall check-up, like you did for yourself.”

Something shifted in those dark, wrath filled eyes. 

“I am clean too,” came the terse response. 

“Then let me do this.” 

Sebastian dove downwards and sucked Jim’s glans lightly, making the man squeal and moan. Then Jim canted his hips off the mattress as the warm wet lips engulfed his erection. Jim was also impressive down there, though not as big as Seb was. But he had a pretty cock. 

He kept sucking the beautiful brunette’s cock as he coated his fingers with lube. He squirted some lube on the opening, stroking the insides of Jim’s thighs to make him open up wider. Jim looked unearthly gorgeous like that, all spread out before him, begging with his eyes and mouth open as a stream of soft moans and whimpers kept escaping him. The blonde kept sucking him like that while he breached the tiny opening with his long index finger. He felt the soft, smooth and taut walls that closed tightly around the digit and went straight for the tiny bump he found there. Jim’s prostate, the sweet spot which was often considered to be a man’s clitoris. He nudged it repeatedly and Jim began to moan louder and louder. 

Sebastian had to use all his willpower to not rub himself to a massive orgasm. His cock was brushing the sheets on the bed as he lay on his front between Jim’s open legs. He knew he would recover soon enough and give Jim what he needed but his first time with Jim couldn’t start with an embarrassingly early orgasm. He held on with all his might as he added a second finger, then a third, and slowly moved them in and out of the now expanding hole. 

“N-No no no….don’t….” Jim’s voice grew desperate as Sebastian took his mouth off his cock but kept finger fucking him, “D-Do ittt…..so close!” 

Sebastian started taking sweeping licks of the wet shiny head of the cock, tonguing it repeatedly and sending Jim into raptures. He kept thrusting his hips up to get more of his cock into Sebastian’s hot talented mouth while three fingers worked their magic inside him. 

“Ohhhhhh,” he threw his head back, eyes rolling, he saw white light spread before his eyes. Just a bit more….

Sebastian needed no words. He understood this man’s body language perfectly and sucked the head hard, pushing his fingers in deeper. 

Jim had a screaming climax that was instantaneous and volatile, shooting all he had and hard enough to make him almost pass out. He fucked Sebastian’s mouth hard, holding him by the back of his head as he rode out his orgasm. It seemed to last a long time and he was almost unconscious by the time the last of the waves had faded and dropped him into a sea of oblivion, pleasure filling out his bones. 

Sebastian watched in awe, as the great Jim Moriarty was rendered incapable of movement or speech by the orgasm he had given him. It made him feel powerful, mighty even, far mightier than he felt with a rifle or with his fatigues on. 

Jim lay panting, eyes closed. 

Sebastian waited, knowing fully well how such an explosive orgasm could take a toll on one. 

“Sir….sir are you all right?” He asked when ten minutes had passed and Jim had evidently dozed off in post coital bliss. 

Jim blinked, opened his eyes with some difficulty and took a grand total of three seconds to get back his bearings. Then a slow but wicked smile spread over his kiss-swollen lips and he whispered in a raspy voice, “One down, more to go.” 

Sebastian made an animal sound at the back of his throat and grabbed Jim. He flipped him around and pushed him up on all fours. Jim barely had the time to spread his legs a little when he felt the tip of Sebastian’s cock nudge his opening. Feisty as always, he pushed back, making Sebastian enter him and slide in much faster than he had expected. The taller man, already on the edge from blowing Jim and watching him come in his mouth, from tasting him and seeing him all spent and limp, couldn’t hold back his orgasm any longer. “Wait wait,” he gasped, trying to tense his legs and control himself, “Oh fuck no…..gon…gonna cum oh fuck!” 

Jim laughed triumphantly as Sebastian came inside him, shaking and helpless. He kept chuckling and making exaggerated moaning sounds as Sebastian pumped his seed inside him and slumped down on top of him, still hard and still lodged in his arse. 

“Prick,” he muttered. 

Sebastian’s eyes shot open. He was floating from his orgasm and had more or less zoned out for a few moments but that muttered word brought him back to reality. He smacked Jim’s arse hard, making the man squeal. 

“What did you say?” 

“You have a great prick but you are a prick yourself.” 

“Oh yeah? You have a great hole but you are an arse hole yourself.” 

“Sebastian I am warning you….” 

“Of what? Killing me? Getting a little too old….these threats.” 

“Seb you bastard….you ninny, you are nothing but a wuss who pretends to be a man….you even got kicked in the rear for being a…..”

“SHUT UP.” 

Sebastian started to fuck him like a bull. He was still very aroused and his cock was hard as a rock even after that astounding orgasm. But more than arousal it was ego that spurred him to make nearly punishing thrusts into the tight little place he was buried in, his fingers holding Jim’s left shoulder and a fistful of his hairs in a vice like grip. His manhood that had been questioned by this little mad genius and he was going to get back at him for that. But he discovered that Jim was far stronger and feistier than Seb thought he was, because the man began to moan in the earnest now. The rough sex or the painful grip on his hairs and shoulder didn’t even seem to bother him one bit. 

“Uh uh uh uhhhhh,” Jim went, pushing back as relentlessly as he was being drilled. 

Sebastian upped the ante and began to fuck him even harder, his balls slapping Jim’s arse and making lewd noises. His hips collided with the smaller man’s body and pushed him forward with every impact but Jim still managed to get back on all fours and shout out insults at him as if his life depended on it. Mad with rage, madder with the need to control this brat and perhaps driven insane with the need to possess and brand this man again, Sebastian continued the assault on his boss for twenty whole minutes before his self-control began to slip. 

Jim had already come once and was now hard all over again. His prostate had been battered, his arse was on fire, tears were streaming down his cheeks but he was not a man to admit any form of defeat. “You disgraceful creature,” he rasped out as Sebastian grabbed his erection and began to stroke it, “You are fucking me because I…..uhhhhh…..I am allowing it. Otherwise….you are good enough only to….to take it up the tail. Poor little …… oh oh oh fuckkkk……soldier.” 

“Shut up and let go,” Sebastian hollered. His heavy baritone reverberated around the room like a bell gonging. 

Jim screamed out as he climaxed, shooting his meagre load as he came for the third time in under an hour. Sebastian felt him tighten hard around his member and with the last bit of his strength he pulled out and shot all over Jim’s arse and tail bone, painting him with his seed. A little victory for him!

Then he saw the blood. 

A look of horror came over his face. 

What the fuck had he done!

Jim had a tear there and though the bleeding was not alarming, but a thin trickle of blood slid down the curve of his buttocks. His entire arse was red from the smacks that had landed on it. His tiny opening was also an angry shade of maroon from the hard battering it had been subjected too. Fuck fuck fuck, what on earth had possessed him to do something so violent? He wasn’t like that…..

Jim had made him like that. Jim was getting into his head. Jim was slowly making him turn back into the monster he thought he had left behind. He scooted back, “Jim…I am sorry.” 

“No, you are weak. You have always been a sissy.” 

“Jim I want to tell you something…..” 

“I don’t want to listen. Now get the fuck out of my bedroom. I got what I wanted.” 

“At least let me take care of you so….” 

“I SAID GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU CRASS COWARDLY PRICK,” Jim shouted at the top of his voice and kicked him in the chest. Sebastian fell backwards and lost his balance, landing up sprawled on the floor beside the bed. He stood up awkwardly and watched as Jim limped to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. He went to the bathroom door, rested his head on it and pleaded with him to come out, to let him take care of that injury, to talk, anything, but Jim merely kept cursing him and ordering him to go away. Eventually Sebastian did that, disappointed and disillusioned that their first time had to end this way. It had started so well and then it just went downhill.

***

“Hey Seb,” Mary was surprised by his visit but her smile was warm and welcoming. 

“I didn’t know who else to talk to,” Sebastian stumbled inside, drunk and despondent. 

“Sit down, let me get some coffee for you first,” she said as Sebastian literally fell on to the couch rather than sit on it. He watched as the blond woman walked to the kitchen, still in two minds about whether he should share his thoughts with her or not. But she had become his best friend in the gang over the past few months and old man Moriarty had also spoken glowingly about her. ‘She can be the winner of a brown envelope award’ the late criminal mastermind had said of her, describing her abilities to keep a secret a secret. He somehow felt she was the safest bet. 

Soon a steaming cup of coffee was pushed into his hands. 

“So,” Mary sat down on a chair next to him, “I suppose your first visit to my flat isn’t something work related.” 

Sebastian sipped his coffee and said, “This is good.” 

“Is it about the boss?” She asked again. 

“I really needed the coffee. Drank a bit too much.” 

“Seb, do you want to talk about it?” 

“Nahhh….just wanted some….coffee.” 

Mary didn’t give him a judgmental look. Her eyes were open, honest, free of any malice or crookedness. Sebastian struggled with his inner fears and stayed silent, head bowed. 

Suddenly she said something that made him jump. “Jim is damaged goods Sebastian.”


	10. William

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian gets a little help from unexpected quarters

“Damaged goods,” Sebastian repeated, confusion written large on his face. 

“Means much more than I said,” Mary looked a bit cautious, “Listen, you can’t talk about this to anybody without having us all blown up. Even if damaged, Jim Moriarty is not a man to be played with.” 

“I…I understand and I trust you….just as you have to trust me and tell me ev-everything,” Sebastian gripped his hairs and pulled at them in frustration, leaving his now-empty coffee cup on the table, “I’ve been trying, trying really hard and it just….doesn’t seem to work. No matter what I do….things just go back to the same spot again.” He slumped backwards and let out a long breath, “Mr. Moriarty told me he has major trust issues and he can be quite self-destructive, but how am I supposed to help him when I don’t know the roots of these. These are symptoms, not causes, I can’t treat symptoms unless I know the fucking causes.” 

“Albert and I talked once, we were both wondering if Mr. Moriarty expected too much from you.”

“No he didn’t. I promised him and I shall deliver. I just need a little guidance because I don’t know the man I am supposed to protect.” 

“Didn’t mean to doubt your abilities to do this job, what we meant was that you were given very little ammunition and sent to a pitched battle in the darkness. He should have given you more information…..but then the man himself was probably ignorant of some of the issues his son faced, at least he had remained ignorant till it was too late. By the time he tried to put in some effort, Jim was already a lost cause.” 

Sebastian startled, “That’s what you think he is? A lost cause?” 

Mary shook her head, “It doesn’t matter what I think. I am not in charge of his life or his future, you are! What do you think? Can you help him?” 

Sebastian remembered Jim’s raw backside, the cut, the blood, his animal behavior when pushed too hard. He closed his eyes and flinched slightly. “I can and I will,” he replied, “But you have to tell me Mary, why do you consider Jim damaged goods?” 

“I have been working for Mr. Moriarty senior since I was sixteen. He educated me and trained me and gave me a very comfortable and respectable life. This flat, my car, my more than decent bank balance, everything is thanks to him. But it’s not as if I earned this position initially. I was literally adopted by him because I resembled his daughter and also had her Christian name.” 

“Jim has a sister?!” 

“Had. She was the first born and older than Jim by a year and half. When she was fourteen she and her mum, Mr. Moriarty’s wife, were killed in an attack on their car. It was organized by a rival gang-lord and even though that despicable man and his family perished the very next week, Mr. Moriarty and Jim found that their losses were irreparable. Neither Sarah Moriarty nor Mary Jane Moriarty could be brought back to life, revenge was useless in that aspect. What was lost was lost and both James Senior and James Junior sank into prolonged and inconsolable grief.”

“They had each other,” Sebastian murmured, “Didn’t they?” 

Mary smiled sadly, “That’s the ugly truth of life. When people do have someone, they ignore them. When they lose that person, that’s when those lost chances come back to haunt them. As they say, we value things before we get them and people after we lose them. Same thing happened between father and son. While the father tried to deal with the loss by burying himself in work and hardly coming back home, the son tried to do the same by avoiding his father and moving out of home at the age of thirteen. Jim did drugs, had knife fights, lost his virginity to some older woman, became someone’s rent boy, killed someone and suddenly he was eighteen. The teenage years had gone by, rather violently. Mr. Moriarty always covered his tracks but he didn’t put an effort to sit Jim down and talk.” 

Sebastian remained silent. This was worse than his childhood. They didn’t have much money but he at least had one parent who was there for him whenever he needed someone. 

“Then Jim met someone,” Mary continued. 

Sebastian’s gut clenched. Jealousy flared up suddenly. 

“Who?” He scowled. 

Mary suppressed a knowing smile and said, “William.” 

“Boyfriend?” 

“Yes. Whatever Jim had done, he had stayed in school and gotten remarkable grades. He was a super brilliant child and had managed to get into University at an age when people were not even out of high school. It turns out that there was another genius at the Uni. A year older than Jim and very much like him in many aspects. There was an instant click and they became a couple. The next four years were wonderful for everyone. Jim was clean, stable, smiled sometimes, ate properly and even started to speak to his dad and come home sometimes for dinner.” 

Sebastian knew he should be saying something like ‘Hope it continued’ or ‘They were good for each other’ but he ended up remaining silent. His gut still burned with that suppressed jealousy he felt towards his ‘William’. 

“Then something happened. They broke up.” 

“Oh…” 

Mary nodded, “Yeah. Pretty sad I must say. That blow was too much for Jim. He had been abandoned three times in his life. First by his mum and sis, then by his dad and now by his first love. None of us ever got to know what caused the breakup because, Jim being Jim, he never ever discussed it with anybody. But he was broken. However, when Jim Moriarty is broken then things get blown up, people die, people get hurt and some brilliant stuff is created.” 

“Wait a minute,” Sebastian gave her an intense stare, “That’s exactly how he is right now.” 

Mary nodded. “He may not admit it, but when his father died for the fourth time in his life he felt abandoned. The little tween in him comes out every time someone leaves him. His work acquires dangerous but brilliant proportions but he becomes quite a handful as well, sometimes the darker side of him is directed towards himself, leading to slashed wrists and attempted shots to his own head. Jim has issues Seb, lots of issues, and being with him is a round the clock, sometimes frustrating, mostly confusing and often annoying deal. We are surprised you lasted close to six months. We thought that….” 

“I’d run away sooner? Nope, not happening, not now and never ever.” 

“So then what do you plan to do?” 

“Um…is…does he still love William?” 

She looked at him through wide eyes, “Sebastian you are jealous.” Then she thought about something and a look of realization came over her face. “O God no, not that, you have fallen in love with him. That wasn’t a smart move colonel, not smart at all.” 

“Tell me,” Seb said stubbornly, “Is he still in love with that man?” 

“I doubt it. But that’s just my opinion. It’s not like Jim discusses these things with anybody. From what I can gather, and Albert feels so too, he has unresolved issues there. Because, unlike his father, mother and sister, this man is certainly not dead and gone. If Jim feels things could have ended on a better note, or wants some conclusion, then it’s about unresolved issues right?” 

“Right.” 

“Seb, please take care of yourself too.” 

“I need to take care of him first. I have done something I am not so proud of.” 

“Just remember, he also has some feelings for you.” 

“Rubbish. He hates me Mary.” 

“He hates himself, hence it appears as if he hates everyone. But that’s only the exterior manifestation of his complex personality. I have also observed that he irks those whom he loves the most. He used to love to annoy his sister, his boyfriend, his dad. That’s a bratty, wicked and mischievous side of him. As for liking you, I have noticed that you have been allowed to talk back to him in a manner none of us can. We have been here for many more years than you and yet he trusts you with the innermost details of some assignments that we are not even allowed to know the basic details of. Trust, dependence, liberties, those are the first things that indicate…..feelings.” 

She paused and laughed, “This is James Moriarty Jr, not a normal boy next door. When he loves, he isn’t exactly cute like most boys next door become.” 

***

Sebastian was lost in thoughts as he walked back home. The cold air and the walk would rejuvenate him and he would have more time to think about what Mary had shared and process that information in his head. He wasn’t foolish enough to think Jim was in love with him, oh God no, that would be the biggest leap of stupid faith and result in a resounding fall which would leave him bloodied. But he did realize the boss man was getting possessive about him, had initiated intimacy with him therefore felt some amount of comfort with him, and that he was slowly allowing Sebastian’s actions to affect him like no other member of the web did. 

So Sebastian was special. But not the kind of special that made him Jim’s partner. Not yet. 

It would have been so much easier had he not fallen for Jim. It was no longer a job for him, Jim was never a job for him, things had gone much deeper. For the first time in his life he felt weak, he felt vulnerable. How he wished he had someone to counsel him on this! But hell no, he couldn’t just go and talk to anybody on this, not even a therapist. They were undercover criminals and details of their personal lives, sensitive information such as this, could be fatal for them if it was leaked out. He had to do this on how own. If only he had someone to help him get a foot in the door. 

“When the going gets tough the tough get going?” 

Sebastian shuddered and stepped back a few paces. 

“It’s me.” 

“No,” the former soldier said, freezing on the spot, “You are gone.” 

James Moriarty senior smiled, “No, I am not gone until I am forgotten. Admit it, you wished you could speak to me.” 

Sebastian swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. “I can’t believe it, I am talking to a ghost.” 

“Ouch, at least call me a specter or an apparition. Ghost sounds so….bleh!” 

Sebastian cursed himself for taking a shortcut through the park. It was all dark around him, trees and more trees, not a human in sight. Even the lights were low here. Goose bumps rose in his flesh and he couldn’t utter a single word as he stared wide eyed at old man Moriarty standing a few feet away and smirking at him. “It must be the drinks, the alcohol in my bloodstream,” he groaned. 

“Well, shall we sit there?” 

Seeing no possible way of getting out of this, Sebastian obediently sat down on the nearest bench, keeping to one side as Moriarty took the other side. The blond man was thankful for the distance between them. Much as he was a brave and rational man, what was happening to him right now was inexplicable and he had to admit he was more than a little scared and apprehensive. It wasn’t every day that dead people visited him for a chat. “Now my dear God son,” Moriarty began, “If I thought you would accept my offer like a job I wouldn’t have made it in the first place. I saw it in your eyes. The moment you saw the photograph you felt a connection with him, didn’t you?” 

“Yes,” Sebastian said, “I did. But he is a handful. He is so closed. Won’t share, won’t talk, won’t do a thing I ask him to do.” 

“Then make him feel he is the one taking that decision. My son always detested being led. His policy is ‘Non ducor, duco’. You have read Latin haven’t you?” 

“Yes, that means I am not led, I lead.” 

“Precisely.” 

“So I should let him think he is the one who’s suggesting those steps?” 

“Absolutely. Give him the illusion that he is in charge and watch the results.” 

“If it was all so easy why didn’t you succeed?” 

Moriarty looked crestfallen. “Don’t remind me of my failures. There haven’t been too many but the ones that were there, they were bad, real bad. Losing my best friend, your father. Then losing my wife and daughter. I was so broken and guilt ridden that I didn’t look at what I had left, which was Jimmy. I kept looking at what I had lost till I also lost Jim.”

“He loves to insult me. Sometimes it’s hard to take them. The hits keep coming on and on.” 

“And you are a tough man. You can take it. But do you realize why he’s being so?” 

“Why?” Sebastian asked, one of his eyebrows slightly raised. 

“I gave you an answer to this already. He loathes being bossed over or being told what to do. He hates feeling small. With all your machismo and ‘all is good under the hood’ attitude, he feels inadequate. He has serious issues about his looks and himself, he hides the lost and hurt little boy behind that carefully cultivated iron shell and loud threats. If you show your vulnerable side, if you show him you can be human too, that he is beautiful…..” 

“He is beautiful, he is,” Sebastian couldn’t help but interrupt, “How can someone like him have issues with self-esteem?” 

“One doesn’t need to be ugly or plain or gorgeous to have self-esteem,” Moriarty shook his head, “Look at me, I never looked as good as he did. He got his looks mostly from his mum, she was a very pretty woman….sorry I digressed, I know Jim very well even though I didn’t handle him that well. He thinks nobody likes him. Nobody cares about him. Which is why he tries to be nasty so he doesn’t give himself a chance to get hurt. But with you he has hope, just as I have hope. The question is, will you take extra steps to take care of your Jim?” 

“If I do….is it okay to wish to….be with him?” 

“You will have my blessings for that. Not yet though.” 

Sebastian closed his eyes and let his head rest in his hands as he hunched over in his sitting position. “I feel he will go back to William.” 

“Will won’t have him back. If he does, there’ll be an agenda. If Jim wants to go back to him he will have an agenda too. Where there’s an agenda, a motive, there can’t be any love.” 

“Easy for you to say so….say…if I want to talk to you again, how do I?” 

“No longer scared of the ghost colonel Moran?” 

Sebastian chuckled and he heard Moriarty chuckle back. “No, you are not real,” the ex-soldier said softly, “You are just a voice in my head and nothing more. I needed to sound things off with someone and I invented you.” 

“Didya? Well, next time you want to see me it might not be under fortunate circumstances.” 

Sebastian felt very tired and very lethargic. He blinked hard, trying to open his eyes. Where did all the light come from? What were those sounds? 

A bearded man’s face swam into his line of vision and he sat up in a hurry, confused and disoriented. When he looked around he saw it was daylight, those sounds were that of the grass being mowed by some lads. Some people were jogging past them while this bearded man was standing before him, holding a broomstick and a large plastic bag. “Slept here all night did you mister,” the man said, “You’re lucky one of those cops didn’t come by and arrest you. You better be on your way now.” 

Sebastian remembered the previous night, Moriarty, the conversation. Lines between reality and imagination blurred in his head and he knew alcohol and stress had been the causes of it. Still, his Godfather had seemed so real, as if he was actually there. He huffed out a chuckle and said, “Yes, I’ll go home now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is William Sherlock? 
> 
> Of course he is!!!


	11. The Ex and the Current Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian meets Jim's ex and realizes who he is

Jim had disappeared for over a week. 

Nobody, not even Sebastian had any clue where he was. To his surprise everyone, including the clients, were asking him where Jim was and pretty irked that even he didn’t know. In the past six months he had become their doorway to Jim and most thought he was not divulging the information on the boss’s whereabouts. 

As the days passed, slow and painfully uncertain, Sebastian began to get jumpy. The first two days were all right, because he thought Jim had gone for some work and would be back any moment, but on the third day he understood this was no ordinary disappearing act. By the fourth day he was almost going mad. By the fifth day he had scanned every corner of the city and checked out all the possible hideouts. By the end of the week he was so desperate that he had to stop himself from informing the police and taking out a ‘missing persons’ report in the papers. No don’t do that Sebastian, he is Moriarty, THE Jim Moriarty, and you can’t reduce him to such a spectacle. You will not only draw unwanted attention on him but also on your own incompetence in keeping a track of his location. 

He had kept up the work the web needed him to do and also helped with some decisions for the Moriarty group of companies, but most of his time had been spent doing various investigations, research and analysis of Jim’s past activities, so he could figure out where the man might be at this moment. Of all the answers he could get, he had reached out everywhere and to everyone possible. Now there was only one place to look. A friend from Jim’s University days.

That name sounded odd. Sherlock. Whoever named their child Sherlock? 

221B Baker Street. Sherlock Holmes. 

When Jim looked up the directory and searched for the man on Google, it turned out to be ‘Sherlock Holmes – Consulting detective with Scotland Yard and British government and independent private investigator’. 

Further research revealed he was an exceptional investigator and was doing really well in this area, catching thieves, turning in murderers and solving crimes left, right and center. Even the underworld was wary of him and steered clear of the man. 

Jim wouldn’t go there, would he? 

This man was practically a trapdoor into the hands of the MI5 team. Oh God no, the head of that unit was a Mycroft Holmes. Was he related to Sherlock? He had to be! The same parents who had given one son a weird name had given the other a similar name as well. The last name was the same too. Yes, they had to be either brothers or cousins or at least part of the same family. 

When Jim didn’t appear for a week and half, Sebastian lost all his patience and reserve of strength and decided to do the unthinkable. He decided to go and knock on the door of someone who could practically be their biggest nemesis. 

All for Jim’s sake of course. If Jim was not there, then he would at least take Sherlock Holmes’ help to find him. 

***

Sebastian had been to Baker Street several times before but didn’t remember stopping there or walking down that street. Somehow his visits had always been nothing more than drive through that street, a busy and bustling street in the heart of London, where vacant flats were difficult to find and even more difficult to afford. That autumn morning, at the stroke of 7 am, he was there at the address he had found in one of Jim’s old diaries, the residence of the indomitable Sherlock Holmes. He looked at the door marked 221B, paused and took deep breaths, before he pushed the small button on the door bell. 

Moments later a lady in her sixties answered the door. “Client for Sherlock,” she said without giving Sebastian a chance to speak, “Up the stairs, first door on the landing.” 

She went back into her flat on the ground floor, muttering something about the detective who never slept or ate and leaving him to figure out the next bit by himself. A little baffled at the homely atmosphere, this matronly woman and the unusually modest surroundings, Sebastian ascended the staircase and reached the door. Before he could knock on it though, someone yanked the door open and stood right in front of him. “Please come inside Colonel Sebastian Moran and take a seat. Can I offer you a cup of tea, since you look like death warmed over and clearly haven’t slept or eaten in a while?”

Too much too soon. That man spoke so fast it was almost impossible to understand what he was saying. Cursing himself for appearing a bit too slow in the head, he nodded and stepped into a spacious but cluttered sitting room. 

He was about to sit down on one of the chairs when his host made a rumbling noise from the back of his throat and pointed at a different seat. 

“That one sir. This one is mine.” 

Touchy and possessive much, Sebastian thought, and obediently took the other chair. 

The other man was in the adjoining kitchen now, brewing tea. For the first-time Sebastian noticed him properly and also realized that he hadn’t made an appointment, yet he had been greeted by his name. Was this man a fucking mind reader?

He was tall, about six feet and an inch, with pale and pasty skin and almond shaped eyes. The pupils were a lovely blue-green and his features were aquiline yet delicate. An odd beauty he carried on himself, unconventional yet captivating. His dark hairs were curly and fell around his face loosely and his hands and feet were elegant and long, with slender artistic fingers and shapely toes. 

“How did you know who I am and that I’d be visiting you this morning Mr. Holmes?” 

“You can call me Sherlock,” the man answered casually and nonchalantly, pouring tea into three cups (Sebastian noticed) and checking texts on his phone at the same time, “I know a bit of what one can call ‘hacker technology’ and therefore I knew you’d be coming here. Last evening you spent ours researching me and visiting my colleague Dr. Watson’s blog. It pays to be in the know about such things. I did a bit of research on you too and found out you were a colonel in Her Majesty’s Services, now an author and a consultant…..different from me though, anyway, I know a lot more about you by just looking at you.” 

“That’s easy,” Sebastian replied, “I haven’t eaten or slept, the bags under my eyes and my chapped lips and slightly gaunt look will probably say that aloud.” 

“Not just that,” Sherlock boasted, “I know you shaved in a hurry because you left a few uneven patches here and there, under your chin and on the side of your jawline. You have travelled on a motorcycle as the state of your hair suggests, the helmet has been left with the motorcycle, a block away, since I didn’t hear one stopping close by. You are an extremely busy man who has recently been disturbed and a little directionless, maybe we can call that ‘disoriented’.” 

“Seriously?” Sebastian was impressed. The man was sharp, cunning, observant. He also had a ‘I am so cool’ aura about him. He saw why Jim would be his friend. 

“Your hands,” Sherlock pointed, “Calluses, marks, which suggest lots of work related to pen and gun and handling various objects and modes of transport. Your right leg is jittery, a sign of nerves, as is the fact that you are here to see me. Nobody comes to me because they are happy and calm, they are here because they are in distress. Of course you are wearing your watch the wrong way, which shows a distracted and possibly hassled mind.” 

“Brilliant,” Sebastian said, “I am sure you can help me detective.” 

“So is it your wife or girlfriend you want to talk about?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“The lady who is behind all this, either she is missing or she is in trouble right?” 

“Not a lady….” 

Sherlock made a face as if he had lost a battle. “Damn, I must admit I never thought you would be here because of a man.” 

Sebastian nodded, “I have heard that before. I am a poster boy for heterosexuality I guess.” 

Sherlock snorted and said, “So tell me all about it. When did it happen? I can see it’s happened at least a few days ago because you aren’t someone to panic really early into a disappearance.” 

“His name is Jim Moriarty and….” 

The spoon fell from Sherlock’s hand. Then his hands shook on the teapot and he splashed some tea on to the kitchen table. It struck Sebastian as odd that by hearing that name, this previously unfathomable, inscrutable, steady as a rock detective could suddenly turn so clumsy. A nervous rumble rose in his empty stomach as he stared at the man who was now walking towards him with two steaming cups in his hand. He offered one to Sebastian, his expression now stony and oddly guarded, then settled down on his own chair, holding the cup with both hands. He didn’t say a word and made no attempt to start a conversation after practically yapping so much in the last few minutes. 

Sebastian cleared his throat and sipped his tea. “Nice one, Darjeeling or Assam?”

“I don’t have milk in the house,” Sherlock said, not answering Sebastian’s question, “I hope you don’t need milk in your tea.” 

“I am okay without milk but I do take sugar.” 

“I just remembered I am all out of sugar too.” 

“Excuse me, have I done something to offend you suddenly?” 

“I cannot take your case.” 

Sebastian blinked, “Why not? You didn’t even hear it. I believe Jim and you knew each other.”

“I am not bound to answer your question,” Sherlock was livid for some reason, “You can finish your tea and leave Moran.” 

“This is no way to behave Holmes,” Sebastian snapped and got on his feet, his voice rising now, “To hell with your tea. I am here to find out about Jim, or seek your help in tracing him, not to be flicked off like I am some fly in the ointment.” He stood towering over Sherlock, hands balled into fists on his side. He noted with satisfaction that the great detective showed a little fear for the briefest of moments before he composed himself and threw him a ‘duh’ look.

“Sherly….” 

Sherlock closed his eyes and did a facepalm. 

Sebastian gasped. That voice!

Moments later Jim emerged from the hallway which probably led to a bedroom and bathroom, hairs standing up at odd angles, clad in clothes that were too big for him (Obviously Sherlock’s, Sebastian noted). He looked sleep ruffled and groggy and didn’t even seem to notice Sebastian initially. “Mmmm, tea, you made tea,” he said in a voice that Sebastian didn’t even recognize as Jim’s, “Biscuits?” 

“Someone is here to see you,” Sherlock said in an icy voice that reflected more hurt than anger, “I thought you said nobody will find you here.” 

With that he got up and walked down that same hallway. Moments later a door was shut. Not slammed but shut, controlled action from a man who was disappointed, not outraged. Jim on the other hand stood there, silent and staring at the floor, as if he was trying to form an answer and ask a question at the same time. Sebastian gaped at him, both hurt and puzzled, trying to figure out what was going on. Suddenly his eyes fell on a photograph on the mantelpiece, a photograph of a younger Sherlock holding a trophy and certificate for some sort of young scientist award. Sebastian’s 20/20 vision noticed the name on the certificate right away. That brought him the answer to the conundrum. 

‘William Sherlock Scot Holmes’. 

“This is your ex?” He demanded. 

Jim gave him a scowl, “Who are you now, my dad?” 

“No, but I am one of those people who are worried sick about you,” Sebastian said angrily, “You have been gone for ten fucking days.”

“I wanted to get away from it all for a while,” Jim yelled, “It is my life.” 

“Then at least let us know,” Sebastian yelled back, “I would gladly leave you alone in your love nest with your detective.” 

Jim raised his hand to whack him across the face but dramatically lowered it the moment Sebastian turned his face slightly and looked away. It was not an act of flinching but more of slight disgust, that Jim should treat him like this when it was he who had caused the whole mess. Sighing out loudly, Jim massaged his temples and then flopped down on Sherlock’s chair, Sebastian noticed, and drew his legs up. Then he began to drink from Sherlock’s cup. 

“I go away for a night and you raise hell,” Sebastian couldn’t help but be a little bitter, “You disappear for ten days and nights and I can’t even….” 

“I am impressed,” Jim said, in a surprisingly good mood, “You actually found me out.” Then he chuckled in an evil, somewhat satisfied manner. 

It was that sound that made Sebastian snap out of his angry haze. Did he hear that right? A derisive smug grin on his boss’s face, as if he had planned it all along. Oh yes, he had planned it all along. This was one of his many acts, dramas and manipulative presentations. 

“Come on,” Sebastian was in control of himself again, “Let’s go home. We can talk more there yeah?” 

“I will come back in an hour or two,” Jim yawned and stretched his arms, “Send Jacob over will you?” 

Sebastian saw no point in prolonging the dialogue or his own pain. His head was too muddled with the notion of Jim’s constant games and facades, which meant it was near impossible to find out which Jim was just Jim, and he sought to walk away from there before he had to face the detective again. The last thing he needed was for the sleuth to deduce just how jealous and desperate he felt right now and how eagerly he sought a touch, just one touch from Jim. At the same time he found himself wanting to hate Sherlock but unable to do so. If anything, he liked the man, that razor-sharp brain, the smooth sassy tongue, those expressive eyes which seemed even lighter in the first rays of the morning, there was hardly anything about the man which one wouldn’t like. Yet he was ill at ease with the fact that Jim had been living with this man for days, wearing his clothes and sleeping in his bedroom. 

“Go Sebby,” Jim said suddenly, “Don’t stand at the door and gawk like an idiot.” 

Vintage Jim. Back to insults and slights. “Just answer one question and I will leave right away,” Sebastian offered a tradeoff. 

“Since when do I have to answer you?” Jim said sharply. 

“Then indulge me.” 

“Make it quick.” 

“Is he the same William you dated back in the University and who….you split up with?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yet you are back here in his flat again?” 

“Yes, as you see, obviously. Please don’t be boring and stupid Moran. Now leave and get back home. I will be over shortly.” 

Sebastian went downstairs but couldn’t leave yet. He lit a cigarette, leaned against a street light and waited at the sidewalk beneath the window of the bedroom. After a while he saw Sherlock there, pushing the drapes aside and talking animatedly. Soon Jim appeared over his shoulder, frowning and waving his arms about as he answered. Then Sherlock grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him deeper into the room, shutting the drapes once again. 

Seb dropped the half-smoked cigarette and hotfooted out of there, not sure why his eyes were burning so hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we see Sherlock Holmes but a younger pre-Watson Sherlock


	12. Sebastian's Past Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb shares his dark secret with Jim in an attempt to show him that he too has chinks in his armour

Sebastian resisted the temptation of the bottle all day. When Jim didn’t return even at six in the evening, he almost gave in. He even got a bottle out and kept it on the coffee table, but he didn’t open it. No, he wouldn’t drown himself in alcohol again, no, never again. 

Finally, at seven, the door opened and in walked Jim Moriarty. Sebastian looked up and all the anger he had felt sort of drained out of him when he noticed a tiny amount of guilt and a small sliver of apprehension in those normally cruel dark eyes. 

Without a word Jim took off the jacket of his Westwood suit and sat down on the same couch where Sebastian had parked himself. He stared at the untouched and unopened bottle and then back at his sniper. Sebastian didn’t say a word, didn’t even acknowledge his presence, till Jim got up and walked to the bar. He came back with two bottles of water, two glasses, some ice and a small bottle of soda. “If this bottle and you have been having staring matches for a while,” he said in an unusually soft tone, “It’s only natural for the ice cubes and glasses to join in.” He opened a bottle of Evian and drank from it, before handing the second one to his lieutenant with a terse command ‘Drink this first’. 

Sebastian did and only when he had finished the one litre bottle did he realize how thirsty he was. He drank the little bit of water left in Jim’s bottle and let out a slow and long breath of relief. “So one hour finally passed,” he said with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. 

“Let’s set some ground rules Sebastian….I am not your wife or your adopted offspring. I will do as I please, sometimes without your knowledge and often without your permission, which I hardly need. So if one hour for me is nine hours, then that’s what you must accept.” 

“Fine. But tell me, why did you call me Sebby back at Sherlock’s flat?” 

“To make you leave.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

“I can call you Sebby like you call me Jim.” 

“Jim? I can call you Jim? Hardly. It’s sir, isn’t it?” 

Jim barked out a laugh. Then he waved his hand dismissively and said, “Cut out the sarcasm. You have called me Jim a few times and I haven’t stopped you. Though, when others are around I do prefer that you call me sir.” 

Sebastian knew this was the moment. It was now or never. He had to start somewhere, someday. “There is something I want you to know,” he began, looking at Jim and noticing that the man was looking at him curiously, “You were right about my past and my last days in the army. I was about to get dishonourably discharged. But that was my cross to bear and not any sort of weakness or deceit. I hadn’t traded army secrets for money nor had I shown my back at a battle or caused the death of fellow soldiers due to my miscalculations. There are people who have done those things and escaped with nothing more than a warning but what I was ousted for was….something different.” 

“Was it?” Jim asked. He tried to sound noncommittal but the blond man saw the eager look in those dark orbs. He really was listening. 

“There was a man….one of my seniors in the army, not my division though, he was Brigadier Daniel McFarland. He was the youngest brigadier in the current forces just as I was the youngest colonel. We had been given promotions by selection and as an acknowledgement of our superior services and not by following conventions of ‘minimum years of field service’. We had been good friends despite the difference in rank and in the army, anyone who outranks you can’t be your friend. But he was and slowly we became a lot closer than mere friends.” Sebastian stopped and heard Jim’s breath hitch. He stayed silent a moment longer and continued, “We had many shared interests and when he told me he was….like me, as in he slept with both men and women, I leapt at the opportunity.” 

“Leapt,” Jim repeated in a flat tone. 

“It’s lonely there Jim. You go for months without sex and I was tired of the whores, as was he. I had been grieving for my mum while he was upset about his wife leaving him, and we got intimate just to forget things for a while. It was not bad, in fact it felt good, and he was more than happy to please me and let me take the lead. In turn I made him feel thoroughly fucked and relaxed. It was a silly thing to do but it worked well for us. At least for a year.” 

“A year,” Jim spoke in that same monotone. It seemed he was spelling out one or two words from Seb’s sentences, just to let him know he was listening. But when the ex-soldier into his eyes he knew it went deeper than that. 

“Someone had a hunch about us, tailed us and found out and told their best friend,” Seb continued, “They hated Dan’s guts and my fast rise through the ranks and considered this to be a great way to drag our noses through dirt. Six of them got together and blackmailed us, after having taped us in my room when we were….”

“Fucking?” 

“Yeah that. Then the unthinkable happened.” 

“What?” 

“Dan wasn’t as strong as I thought he was. He shot himself through the head and left a note, saying nobody was responsible for his death. He left a separate note for me, apologizing for being a coward and leaving me alone to handle this.” 

Jim looked at him and asked him a question, face blank, tone flat. “How did you handle it? I am sure things got a big bloody.” 

“A bit is an understatement Jim,” Sebastian poured the drinks for them now, “I shot all six men responsible for Dan’s death. Naturally I was called and a court martial started. Fortunately I had gathered solid proof of those men and their dalliances, most of which included embezzling army funds for personal use, bringing in whores into the restricted premises and compromising security and so on. But the whole sex tape thing was also out there for the panel to look at and it was…..horrible…..simply bizarre and insulting and downright embarrassing.”

Sebastian stayed quiet for a moment. It wasn’t easy to recollect and narrate those events which he had buried in a deep and dark corner of his mind, but he needed to do this, he needed to show Jim there was a vulnerable side to him as well. 

When Jim simply stayed quiet and waited for him to speak again, he went on. “I had my equity within the army and some Godfathers there who knew I wouldn’t do something like this unless pushed to the corner. But I had still committed a crime, a rather heinous one at that, I had killed six people and it didn’t matter whether they had been cheats and blackmailers, it was still a most despicable act. I was found guilty and though no action was taken against me, I was asked to remove myself from the position I held and quietly get back to civilian life. I was told I would get to keep my honourable discharge as long as all these matters stayed confidential. They were afraid the army’s image of integrity and patriotism would suffer if I opened my mouth.” 

“Quid pro pro,” Jim said. 

“Quid pro pro,” Sebastian confirmed. 

“What would have happened had they found you were gay?” 

“It wasn’t about being gay, it was about that sex tape. They could have easily leaked it out and we would have lost face. Also, there was Dan’s death which I had to avenge.” 

“Were you in love with him?” 

Jim’s question, though asked in a completely emotionless voice, was laced with a little hurt, a tiny angst and a wee bit of apprehension. Sebastian wondered why Jim would even be apprehensive? How did it even matter if he had feelings for Daniel or not?

Or maybe it did. It did matter to him. Sebastian himself did matter to him. 

Not willing to get his hopes up too much, he replied, “I liked him, respected him, I have fond memories of him. Was it love? I am not sure. But I am sure he didn’t love me because nobody chooses suicide as an escape route from a problem, leaving their partner alone to face it. He apologized in that note and he confessed he was weak, a little selfish even, in fact he even sounded regretful of what we had done. That disappointed me because even today I feel what we had shared was a beautiful thing.” 

“Sentimental nonsense,” Jim scoffed. 

“Maybe for you, but we can’t all be you,” Sebastian replied with a sad smile, “Just as you can’t be us.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“When you try to hurt yourself, kill yourself, disappear without a trace,” Sebastian jumped at the opportunity to show Jim the mirror, “You do what you think is right, not what others think is right. Similarly I have my own feelings about that….relationship. It didn’t matter to me how Dan escaped it, it was his way, what did bother me though that he had so little faith on me, on himself, on us as friends. I would have gone to any lengths to save him from disgrace but then maybe I am being delusional. Once a sex tape is out and it’s in the hands of harmful people, there is no end to the dishonour and shame it could bring. He was, unlike me, a heterosexual man who had married a woman before. Maybe he didn’t want to be outed at all.” 

“Then what happened?” Jim asked, voice not betraying any feelings at this point. 

“I came back to London and took to the bottle. I was already quite heavily leaning on alcohol to help me tide over those events and the court martial and investigations but being in the army sort of keeps you under some control. However, once I was out of the forces, which I loved so much and couldn’t imagine a life without, nothing held me back. In three months I had landed in hospital and also into trouble with the cops. Driving under influence, pub brawls, addiction, alcohol poisoning, I had it all.” 

“Dad pulled you out?” 

“No.” 

“If he really liked you so much then why didn’t he?” 

“Perhaps he wanted to see if I could hoist myself out of the hole I had dug myself into.”

“No doubt you did that.” 

“Yes, with some help from my friends and the doctors, I went into rehab and did community service, sort of put things behind me and got clean and ready for a new life.” 

Jim was quiet for a long time. He was so quiet that it almost became unnerving for Sebastian to handle his silence. After almost half an hour, he timidly pushed the glass into Jim’s hands and roused him from his trance like state. 

“Huh?” The big dark brown eyes looked at him in confusion. 

“Drink,” Sebastian said softly, kindly almost, “Are you hungry?” 

“Yes…a little bit.” 

“I will make some ramen? With chicken and leeks, scallions and mushrooms. Chili broth, nice and spicy.” 

Jim nodded and said nothing. 

Forty-five minutes later they sat down for their meal which was, even Sebastian himself had to admit, was quite hearty and delicious. The blonde had also slipped two soft boiled eggs, delicately cut into halves with the slightly runny centers oozing out, into their portions. Jim had joined him at the dining table with a disinterested look in his eyes but one look at the food made him lick his lips slightly. Sebastian pretended to be looking elsewhere but he kept watching the smaller man through the corner of his eyes, noticing how his nostrils twitched as he caught a whiff of the aroma rising out of the large bowl. Slowly he dug in and after the first few bites began to eat quite clamorously. Poor fellow was hungry and probably his constant anger and irritation boiled down to a perpetually underfed stomach. 

Sebastian made a mental note of finding out what sort of food Jim preferred so he could cook those dishes more often. As the brunette ate, the sniper watched him and felt as if his belly was filling up. It was a strange connection, one which went deeper than the flesh, and Sebastian was completely honest with himself in admitting that even if this didn’t lead to sex that night, he would still be happy enough as long as Jim was well-fed and well-rested. 

To his surprise, Jim finished not only his portion (Sebastian had heaped extra ramen in there to ensure Jim ate more than the usual quantity), he even agreed to take some from his lieutenant’s bowl. 

The result was something a bit funny. 

“I….I am going to….oh damn,” Jim groaned as he fell on the couch after he had brushed his teeth, “It’s all your fault.” 

Sebastian looked at him with a start, “I know it’s all my fault always but which one this time? Please specify.” 

“I don’t feel well…..my tummy hurts.” 

“No, it’s just an uncomfortable fullness. Will go away in a bit. Just stay still and wait it out.” 

“Don’t patronize me you idiot. You work for me.” 

“I won’t dream of doing that,” Sebastian said as he cautiously ruffled Jim’s hairs and stroked through them. To his pleasant surprise Jim leaned into the touch but didn’t say a word. Slowly his eyes drooped and he lay back on the couch, a cushion under his head, curled up on his side. 

An hour later he was asleep. 

***

Sebastian woke up to a weight on his chest and stomach and two burning dark eyes glaring right through his soul. 

Jim Moriarty was sitting astride him and had his small hands lodged around his neck. He looked angry, demonic in some way, his teeth were bared in a snarl, gleaming white in the still dark bedroom. 

“You carried me to the bedroom you knothead,” Jim growled like an animal, voice harsh and grating, his breath hot on Sebastian’s face as he leaned in, “Like I am some sort of invalid or an infant, helpless and delicate huh? How dare you treat me like a fucking child? Could you not have woken me up or just left me there?” He sat up straighter and slapped Sebastian hard across the face, making the sniper gasp and clutch his cheek. “What do you all think? What am I? Some unstable stupid creature who can’t take care of himself? Sherlock doesn’t treat me like that, he treats me like an equal, he is the only one who understands me for what I am.” 

“Jim no….” 

The pressure on his neck increased and he wheezed a bit. 

“Shut up, let me finish. You think you are my daddy now? You can treat me like I can’t even manage myself?” 

“Jim listen…” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

Now he was being choked. He still didn’t react. He left it to Jim’s discretion to stop this abuse, knowing fully well that the smaller man was not going to like it if he showed his superior strength right now. 

But then Jim said something which made him do just that. With a disgusted look in his eyes, the smaller man spat out the next words, “It’s people like you who make me want to set fire to this world, so I can see them burn, char beyond recognition. You stupid fucking imbeciles. What’s the point in living on this planet of silly apes, what’s the point of this life?”

Sebastian shot up to a sitting position and took Jim by surprise that way, making him fall back on the mattress. His hold on Sebastian’s neck loosened and he suddenly found himself pinned down by the sniper’s weight. “If you don’t value your life, nobody else will,” Sebastian said firmly, looking into those eyes which looked back at him with disdain, “If you are not so ordinary then why are you so keen to end your life? I see no difference between you and Daniel. Both of you are escapists.” 

Jim’s eyes lit up with the flames of wrath and he launched himself back at Seb with surprising strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aggressive sex in the next chapter plus some confessions!


	13. Fighting and loving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian realizes Jim's bark is worse than his bite.

“You fucker,” Jim screamed, “I will nail you on to a cross.” 

They wrestled hard, like real men, Jim doing everything possible to hurt Sebastian and Sebastian doing his utmost best to stop Jim but not cause any real harm to him. They sent pillows and things from the nightstand scattering everywhere as the bed creaked harshly under their weight. 

It was then that the blond man noticed something. Jim was being a brat, an out of control brat having a meltdown, but he wasn’t trying to do any real harm to Sebastian either. Just to test this theory Seb let him loose and the first thing Jim did was pick up a knife from the nightstand drawer, a paper knife, and slash Sebastian’s skin around the collarbone. Seb didn’t even feel the pain as he deftly avoided the next blow, now aimed at his arm, and then retrieved a larger and much sharper knife from under his pillow. He always kept his weapons close by and that included a knife and at least three guns. Jim looked fearless and braced himself for a knife attack, a mad look in his eyes. 

Sebastian calmly turned on the bedside lamps and handed Jim the knife, handle first, blade facing away from the smaller man. “That knife isn’t enough to cause real damage,” he said, “For real damage you may want to consider this. Take it.” 

“Keep it away you sick fuck,” Jim yelled. 

“You are the one out of control and I am the sick fuck?” Sebastian countered. 

“Keep it away….” Jim grabbed the knife and threw it away somewhere. 

“You really don’t want me dead do you?” Sebastian asked honestly. 

“No, I would kill you any day. I just don’t want to lose my….” 

“If I am dead then you lose nothing. Quick, here is your chance.” 

“Shut up you imbecile.” 

“So Jim, would you prefer to go back to Sherlock because he understands you better?” Seb asked, letting his jealousy show so Jim knew he had his weaknesses too, “It seems staying here with me is only causing you meltdowns and mood swings. Tell me, if you show your crazy side to him will he still like you and let you into his life? If he was okay with a high maintenance boyfriend you guys wouldn’t have broken up.” 

Jim fell back into bed as if slapped. 

Realizing he had hit a raw nerve Sebastian tried to reach out to Jim but the man curled up into a ball and faced the other side. Soon he began to sob, really sob, gut wrenching sobs that made his entire slender frame shake and shudder from time to time. 

“God I am so sorry,” Sebastian sighed, sitting there beside the sobbing man but making no attempts to touch him again. He wanted to give him space. He also wanted Jim to trust him, not to hate him for mollycoddling him. 

The sobs died down soon and were replaced by harsh, ragged breathing. Jim was trying to control himself and failing miserably. This wasn’t going well and Sebastian knew that. The more inadequate and small Jim felt, the more he would hate and distrust Sebastian. 

“I really am sorry believe me I am deeply sorry,” he said as he lay down close to Jim and placed a hand on his hip, “I was very jealous and ended up saying something I shouldn’t have. But don’t let one mistake take away other things from me. I am here because I want to be, not because I am forced to be. You aren’t letting me stay because you want me here, but because you have no other choice. I pretty much understand my feelings are one sided and I am okay with that, as long as you trust me enough to let me take care of you. That doesn’t make you weak Jim, it only makes you a stronger man. Strong men, real men, they can admit to having weaknesses and their off-color days.”

Jim slowly turned to face him. He didn’t push Sebastian’s hand off though. 

“You mentioned Sherlock.” 

It was a bitter sentence, spoken with a sheen of disenchantment. 

“I did, so you know who your real friends are.” 

Dark eyes gleamed. “I have NO friends.” 

“You do, if only you’d allow them to be so.” 

“I suppose you would jump at that opportunity Moran?” 

Sebastian shook his head, “I’d like to be more. I want to be your punching bag, your second in command, your protector, your confidante, your sounding board, your property. If you really came down from your ivory tower of suspicion you might just notice that I had many ways to bail myself out of this. I would have a huge pile of money, huge by my standards anyways, and nothing to hold me back from enjoying it. My life wouldn’t be at risk nor would I be lying awake at 4 am with a man who I….” 

Jim’s breath hitched, “Who I....what?” 

“Nothing important Jim.” 

He closed his eyes and lay there, silent. He felt Jim shift, move closer and suddenly that warm, svelte body was melting into his larger frame as soft and moist lips pressed themselves on his drier ones. 

“Jim,” he said as they parted for a moment, “You sure?” 

He wanted to give the man a chance to back off even though his own voice and expression was full of wanton need. Jim didn’t answer. He simply pressed his lips on to Sebastian’s once again and threw a leg over him, as if trying to keep him close. 

Sebastian wrapped him up in his arms and pulled him flush against his body, kissing him deeply now. Jim was an excellent kisser, he noted, and when the man kissed with passion he could make someone cum simply from that lip-lock. Sebastian’s cock jumped up in his boxers and he felt more than he heard Jim moan into his mouth when the brunette realized that. Soon Jim was shamelessly grinding his rapidly growing erection against Seb’s, making soft mewling sounds as he let the larger man thrust his tongue right into his mouth and explore every nook and cranny of it. He moaned again as Seb’s tongue traced the roof of his mouth, the sound vibrating through both of them in the most pleasurable way. 

Panting hard, they stared at each other. They were both smitten but while Jim still had a look of suspicion mingled with that, Sebastian had a little tinge of fear niggling him. 

“What do you want?” He asked, again choosing to give Jim the lead. 

“Top from bottom,” Jim admitted, biting down on his lower lip. 

Sebastian fingered that lip and kissed it softly, “Ride me then?” 

Jim snapped, “Yes of course. Don’t be fucking daft.” 

“Temper temper,” Sebastian smiled, “Just trying to make you comfy.” 

“I am not made of glass.” 

“When you really care for someone they seem fragile to you, 'cause you don't wanna hurt them. It’s got nothing to do with you Jim, it’s all about how I think.” 

Jim’s exhale was loud and he said nothing further as Sebastian reached out for the lube and coated his fingers with it. Then he changed his mind and said, “I think I will kiss you open instead of using this stupid lube. Spend half an hour down there, get you all ready for me.” 

Jim moaned unabashedly and spread his legs. Sebastian wiped his fingers on his shirt, tossed it away and quickly pulled off Jim’s briefs and pajama bottoms. His cock sprang free and comically hit Sebastian’s cheek and the blond man would have laughed had Jim not been so permanently moody and easy to flare up. 

“Having second thoughts?” Jim asked sharply as he lifted his legs. 

“Never,” Sebastian answered. 

Then his tongue touched the tiny opening and Jim let out an obscene howl of pleasure. 

Sebastian hadn’t done this to anyone before, not to any whore nor to Daniel. He had even been mildly disgusted by it earlier but doing this to Jim felt good, felt nice, he was just as turned on by doing this to Jim as he was by a sexual act done on him. He alternated between kissing the hole, licked the soft skin around it, then stabbing at it with the tip of his tongue and finally eating him out full scale. 

Jim’s groaning, howling responses only spurred him on and every time he looked up at the man through his lashes, the sight he saw was more than the reward he sought. Jim looked so turned on, so out of control and helpless with desire, that Sebastian could have spent the entire day and night doing this without bothering about his mouth cramping up or his tongue getting sore. 

Jim’s hole was widening now. He was nice and moist there, hole twitching and expanding with every stab of Seb’s tongue on it. His hips jerked now and then and shudders ran through his body as he tried to keep himself under some form of control. He was trying to grind against the sheets but Sebastian’s strong grip on his hips prevented him from doing that and he growled out threats, followed by whining pleas to let him cum. Finally Seb took pity on him and let him push himself up on all fours and Jim’s hand flew to his cock as he began to stroke it hard. The blonde parted his cheeks and delved in again, keeping his tongue deep inside Jim’s arse so the man could get off. 

It took only a minute. 

Jim created a racket of sorts as he screamed, shrieked and moaned out his climax. Jets of semen arched over the mattress and then landed on the sheets as he pushed back on the invading tongue, almost getting Sebastian’s nose trapped into his spasming hole. 

“Ohhhhhhhhhh,” Jim let himself fall down on his own mess afterwards, spent and shaking all over. 

Sebastian withdrew and immediately inserted lubed fingers, finding the passage nicely relaxed and accommodating. Jim was still floating in bliss and it was the perfect time to insert himself in there and start pounding. But Sebastian remembered what Jim had asked for and held back, letting the man take the next step. 

After a few minutes Jim panted out the following words, “I-I want to ride you now.” 

Sebastian lay down on his back and slathered lube on his cock. “Come on then kitten,” he said, letting another nickname spill out, “Sit on it.” 

“Kitten eh?” Jim snarled as he straddled the bigger man, “What do you suppose I should call you then?” 

“Your dog perhaps.” 

Jim didn’t answer. He looked vaguely confused for a moment before he sank down on the huge hard cock. It was a bold move, even for someone who had been prepared thoroughly, and Sebastian had to use all his controls to not cum instantly. Jim’s arse was a heated, virginal vault, all cozy and tight-fitting and yet soft as a velvet glove. It was like sinking into paradise and simply dying from sheer pleasure. He had to hold Jim by his thighs to stop him from moving too soon. 

“It will all be over otherwise, give me a min,” he said and Jim understood and stayed still. 

When he had calmed down and regained some semblance of control he gave a silent go ahead to Jim who began to move on his throbbing erection. At first the mastermind kept it slow and only made rocking motions on it, Sebastian beginning to moan softly as he felt friction build around his turgid length. Then, without a warning, Jim began to bounce on him in full force, placing his palms flat on his chest for leverage as he rose and fell on the meaty length inside him. Both men groaned out loudly at the sensations and Sebastian felt as if his body was on fire. Every inch of his body wanted to push itself towards a shattering climax but he held on bravely, not wanting to spoil Jim’s fun. 

Jim was a great power bottom and he relished this act, controlling the pace and rendering his lover as helpless as he had been a while ago while he was being rimmed. In merely a few minutes he had reduced Sebastian to a blabbering, moaning, hissing mess. 

“Oh fuck yes please yeah more.” 

“More what Sebby?” 

“Faster, please go f….fuck faster.” 

“Fuck you faster? Then you have to give me a chance to top for real.” 

“You can. You can fuck me whenever you want.” 

That did something to Jim and he suddenly sank down on the cock unbelievably hard. Something happened and his eyes rolled to the back of his head while Sebastian felt as if he had sunk down even deeper inside Jim. He thrust up helplessly, deep and hard, almost splitting his lover into two and Jim roared with pleasure. It had to have hurt but he seemed to be swimming in the throes of a climax and only evidence of pleasure could be seen on his pretty face. 

“God….oh…..God,” Jim moaned, closing his eyes and riding him harder now. 

“So deep in you,” Sebastian moaned, realizing what had happened. He had breached Jim’s second sphincter muscles and the last two inches of his erection had slipped into the man. He could feel the thin discharge inside Jim’s arse coat his cock and the slipperiness only added to their pleasure. 

“Seb….Sebby,” Jim moaned, rubbing his own body as he continued to ride him. 

“Yeah kitten,” Sebastian reached up and pinched those perfect strawberry nipples, eliciting a series of ‘o fuck’s from the smaller man. 

Their bodies tensed up and Sebastian knew that the release that threatened him wouldn’t be stopped, couldn’t be stopped. He thrust up as much as he could with Jim’s full weight on him and grabbed the man’s erection. Jim surprisingly batted his hand away. 

A little taken aback, the sniper tried to touch Jim again. Before anything else could happen, Jim let out a high-pitched shout and came all over Sebastian. The man was quite the shooter and he released a very heavy load for someone who was cumming for the second time in under fifteen minutes. Splatters of semen hit Seb everywhere as Jim groaned hard through his orgasm, the creamy cum landing on his chin to his face to his chest and all over his rock-hard abs. Jim shuddered like a bitch on heat finally getting the release it so craved, babbling something under his breath and letting out soft wailing sounds now and then. He had come so hard and yet that had been without a touch to his cock. 

Sebastian’s orgasm happened instantly. As Jim landed on top of him, boneless and exhausted, the taller man grabbed his hips and thrust in a few times, riding out his orgasm with loud cries of Jim’s name. He came and came, filling him up to the brim and making him moan softly.

They lay tangled together in bed, both awake in spite of their sated and tired bodies and buzzing brains, sweat and semen cooling over them. They knew they should shower but none of them were in a mood to move. 

Minutes passed and they calmed down, settling into a lovely post coital haze. But neither man slept, both being too wired up to fall asleep. When the silence stretched out too long Sebastian began to squirm inside. It was still dark outside so the bedside lights were still on, and that meant that he could see Jim’s face clearly. It was unreadable and offered no insight into the man’s mind. 

Say something Sebastian, say something. 

What should I say? It was great, thanks Jim. Or should it be ‘Are you all right Jim’? Maybe just ‘Good night, let’s sleep for a bit’. Nah, none of these. He will bite back immediately. 

“Um…Jim?” 

“Yeah?” 

Okay at least he didn’t bite back and had answered in a normal tone. No angst, no irritation, a simple response. A little bolder, Seb whispered, “You….may I ask you a question?” 

“Go on.”

“Why did you go to Sherlock after all these years?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Jim is trying to make Sebastian jealous. But he doesn't, at this point, wish to hurt Sherlock either. He will want to destroy Sherlock at some point, but that would be under very compelling circumstances. 
> 
> Thanks to those who are still reading, commenting and enjoying the story!


	14. Heaven and Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian gets a few wishes fulfilled and then suffers a nasty shock

“You do understand I don’t owe you any answers,” Jim huffed, “I am the one who does the questioning around here.”

“You don’t owe me an answer,” Sebastian said softly, “But I thought to ask nonetheless. Why did you go to him?” 

“He has been writing to me now and then,” Jim said, turning on his back and staring at the ceiling, “I replied sometimes, sometimes he initiated another conversation, sometimes I did. As he talked through text messages he told me that he was still single. He had tried to hook up with one of our classmates, Victor Trevor, but that hadn’t really worked out. Of late he has met someone else, an older man named John Watson, a former army doctor, but that guy is arrow straight and treats him like a friend and housemate. No feelings there. He wanted to know if there was something left between us and I decided to give it a go. Okay, now that you have your answer, let me ask you a question in return.” 

“Sure Jim, you can ask me anything.” 

“Do you have a tendency to pick up the broken ones and try to fix them?” 

“What?” 

“Don’t be daft and boring. You know what I mean.” 

“No, I really don’t.” 

“Daniel McFarland then. Jim Moriarty now.” 

“You are not broken Jim. Neither was Dan. But yeah, if someone has issues and everyone seems to have a problem with them, I do accept them for what they are. Dan was a different creature, someone who didn’t hesitate to speak his mind and tread an honest path when people around him were trading their country’s secrets and security for extra money. I liked that about him. As for you, I am amazed by your talent at managing a web and a business at the same time at this age. I respect the genius that resides in your head Jim. I love the person that you are, so gorgeous and yet so unaware of his looks. This has nothing to do with being broken.” 

He remembered that meeting/dream/hallucination with Moriarty senior. Quickly he added, “If there is a broken man in this room, you are looking at him.” 

Jim let out a derisive laugh, “What are you broken about now? You are sickeningly perfect. My dad’s last big hope, Mary calls you ‘man for all seasons’, Peter advocates your cause, you manage to do any work I ask you to do, you have had a near perfect military record, you look like the poster boy girls would like to see staring at them from the walls. What about you makes you broken?” 

“That I am alone and the one man who matters to me doesn’t care.” 

Jim looked at him with a frown, “That’s shit. Total shit. Liking someone doesn’t mean you get to keep them.” Then, as if he had said too much and revealed too much of himself, he snapped at the older man, “Go back to your room. I need my space.”

***

After that day things did improve between them. Not that there were any major changes, only subtle ones. Jim was still Jim, being an arse most of the time and downright cruel when it came to work, but he no longer made special attempts to behave like a dick with Sebastian. Their days were long and filled with loads of work and danger but even criminals had some downtime, which mostly happened on some evenings and a few afternoons when they had a few hours off and no guns pointed at them, when they were at home like two young men would be. During those hours Sebastian found Jim a bit more open than before, a little chattier, discussing a case or a client, about some silly idiot he had met, about sports or entertainment, astronomy and mathematics, art and music. 

Sebastian was astounded by how much Jim knew and how logically he could explain every single aspect. Be it literature, a complex machinery, a psychedelic serial killer case from the past, a golf tournament or an intricate piece of foreign intelligence strategy, he always had a good but simplified answer for everything. “The cleverest man is one who can give a simple explanation of every complex situation”, was what he said when Seb complimented him. 

Jim also noted with interest and mild happiness that Sebastian was a man who not only listened to him but also understood him to some extent. He wasn’t Sherlock level on IQ but his EQ aka emotional quotient was high, as was his ability to empathize with Jim. What compounded his approval of the sniper was that the blond man seemed to have no ulterior motives for his devotion. He didn’t want to compete with Jim, impress him with falsehood, prove a point of one-upmanship or butter him up for personal gains. Whatever he did for Jim was rooted in a desire to keep him happy and safe and much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to find Sebastian a little bit indispensable. 

A week after they had had sex and that chat, Jim started to moan and rub himself against Sebastian. It was an ‘all of a sudden’ move but Sebastian didn’t deny him his needs. They went to Sebastian’s room this time and made love. 

As he was buried deep inside the smaller man, the colonel noticed that Jim was a little high strung. He kept clawing and scratching at Sebastian as if he wanted to be assured the taller man was present there with him, mind-body-soul. 

He responded with assuring kisses, softly whispered words and hot passion. It left Jim trembling in its wake with exhaustion and adrenalin. 

“Sebby,” he pleaded in a voice he had hitherto not used even during their private moments. 

“Yes Jimmy?” He was now allowed to use that nickname. 

“Carry me to my room. Can’t walk.” 

Realizing that he had gone overboard with their fucking and Jim would be sore, Seb carried his boss/lover to his bedroom and tucked him in. But when he came back to his lonely bed he wished Jim had stayed on instead or at least asked him stay back. 

A few days later his wish was fulfilled. That night they didn’t have any sex but both were high on their latest success and had big smiles on their faces. They had just returned from a quick two-day trip to Belgium, where they were able to not only take out a rival gang-lord but also steal a very fancy and precious jewel that a collector would pay at least ten million for. Naturally both men were ecstatic. Jim had done the stealing while Sebastian had done the killing and on their way back they had even had to break both legs of a patrolling policeman so he wouldn’t chase them. Not bad for a day in a thug life, they had both decided, celebrating with Italian takeout and some fine wine. 

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” Jim said sleepily, “Watch the European Championship semifinal together?” 

“If you can stay awake,” Sebastian teased. 

“If I don’t, you do,” Jim replied, “Wake me if it goes into the penalty shootout.” 

As Sebastian had predicted, Jim was asleep even before half time arrived and sound asleep by the end of the ninety-minute game. Fortunately, the match didn’t go into the penalty shootout stage as one of the teams had ended up scoring a goal during extra time. Hence Jim didn’t need to be nudged awake and Sebastian watched the game alone, enjoying the rare peace and quiet he had with Jim asleep next to him. After it was over, he switched off the television, stretched and yawned and slowly slid off the bed when something pulled him backwards. 

It was Jim, holding on to a corner of his T shirt. 

“Wh’recha goin?” 

“My room, to sleep.” 

“Don’ go.” 

“Jimmy, even I have to sleep. It’s midnight almost.” 

“Sl’p heya’.” 

“You sure?” 

“You prick….that’s an order.” 

Jim kicked his side even, as if to emphasize the point. Then he moved slightly away so Sebastian would have enough space. The taller man got in, not immune to the heat and scent of Jim in close proximity, or the way he looked cute and hot in his navy blue printed pajama set. He lay down and stroked Jim’s hairs, keeping his touch light and non-sexual, and watched the steady rise and fall of the other man’s back. Sometime later he fell asleep but still dreamt he was watching Jim. 

When he woke up he saw nothing but white. 

For a moment he panicked. I am in Heaven, I died and went to Heaven, someone must have murdered me in my sleep, c’mon God you couldn’t have called time out on me so soon, what would happen to Jim now. He looked around, all white, oh yes this was it, this was the end of Sebastian Augustus Moran and then…..thump! There was still some white around him but by now he saw other colors too and then a very familiar thing dangling before his face. That was Jim’s hand. It looked limp but the fingers twitched in sleep. Okay, you are alive Seb, you still are, because Jim seems alive and there are other colors around, not to mention an empty beer bottle lying on the floor. God wouldn’t keep an empty beer bottle in his abode, if we were to believe the religious texts that we were force fed on. 

His bearings came back to him slowly and so did several realizations. 

He had slept in Jim’s bed and Jim was clearly not used to sharing his personal space and bedclothes. During the night he had not only pushed Sebastian right against the edge, he had also managed to pull the covers entirely away from his body. 

In his slumber Sebastian had managed to gather some corner of the sheets and pulled it over his face and head. Pristine white sheet, which when seen through sleepy barely open eyes, seem like a sea of white. Then of course Jim had pushed him some more and caused him to fall off the edge of the bed and land on the floor with that annoying and sudden thump. 

Sebastian got up, laughing quietly to himself, and went to his room to freshen up. He realized he had never woken up in such high spirits, not since the glory days in the army. 

***

“I want to go on a hit with you.” 

“No Jim, it’s too dangerous.” 

Jim gave him a ‘I don’t believe you can talk back to me’ look, followed by a frustrated teeth baring snarl. But when Sebastian seemed unaffected by that he put his hands on his hips and issued orders. “I am going and that’s that,” he said in a tone of authority, “This is my work you are doing, don’t forget that. If I don’t come with you then I shall give this job to Troy. You can sit here at home and go through some profit and loss statements and answer some emails.” 

Which Sebastian hated to do. He was okay with every kind of work but this was his least favorite. He still tried to reason with his boss though. 

“But what will you do at a hit? It’s not like you have a small part to play or you need to keep an eye out. It’s a relatively easy task and there is no danger or complications foreseen.” 

“That’s it Sebby,” Jim said dismissively as he dressed in a light grey Westwood suit with a designer tie and a tie-pin worth nearly ten grand, “Since there are no complications in this task, it’s no complex job either, and you have it all figured out and planned out well, this should be the safest hit for me to accompany you on. As I said, this is my work that you’re doing after all and I want to stay abreast of all the jobs the people in my web do. I went to the Casino de Monte Carlo just to see how they handle the money and the transactions there, didn’t? I also accompanied you last month to Belgium when you shot that Ramah fellow between his eyes.”

“Yes but the Monaco thing had a reason,” Sebastian argued, “There were discrepancies in the accounts given to us so you had to go and check. It was necessary so you were sure nobody is swindling you. As for the Belgium task it was a rare case of both of us having separate things to do around the same time and in the same city. You didn’t accompany me just to watch me lie in wait for two hours and finish the job in a split second.” 

“I said I am going and nobody will dissuade me from that.” 

“Boss….is it worth it going through that danger?” 

“Yes, worth every moment.” 

After that Sebastian had no more arguments left and he was wise enough not to try and put his foot down. Jim might have grown closer to him but he was still an eccentric, fiendish and cruel man who could praise one moment and kill the next. 

***

“It’s cold.” 

Sebastian could have ignored the whining had he not heard Jim’s teeth chattering. 

He knew he couldn’t really hurt this man or cause him inconvenience beyond a point. So, when Jim began to shake and tremble next to him on that open terrace and the chattering of teeth became louder, Sebastian put his gun down and quickly took out a second blanket from his backpack. He was lying on one blanket, nice and warm and cozy since he was sandwiched between its warmth and the snug heat of his thick overcoat, but Jim had chosen to wear a thinner mackintosh that was high on style and low on warmth. When he wrapped Jim in that blanket, he saw that the man had been drinking a bottle of water. 

“Try this,” he gave him a pocket flask of whiskey, “Why are you drinking water.” 

“I was thirsty,” Jim said, sounding peeved. 

“I drank water before leaving the house, asked you to do so too. Who drinks water sitting here in the cold like this?” 

“Apparently me,” Jim snorted and took a few swigs of his whiskey. The chattering of teeth stopped and when Sebastian took off his scarf and wrapped it around Jim’s ears, the man sighed out in bliss and leaned against him. Now Sebastian had a problem. He was working, not simply being a curious observer, and the way Jim’s body stretched out next to his and his soft lips rested against his neck was extremely distracting and inappropriate. He wriggled a little, trying to throw Jim off but the man didn’t budge. Instead he mumbled, “Wake me when the target arrives okay Seb? I want to see his brains splatter out the moment the bullet makes an ugly meat hole between his eyes.” 

“Chief, please go back to the car. Jacob is there and he is armed. He can protect you till I complete this job and come back.” 

“Nope.” 

“You are sleepy. Pardon me for saying this but….” 

“You said I have no part to play in this. Then how does it matter if I am awake or asleep? Just focus you big rat.” 

Sebastian sighed loudly at the stubborn response. He stayed low, waiting patiently as he trained his eye on the telescopic lens and watched the alley. The target was late but he would be visible any moment now. Jim had gone quiet, he was probably dozing off, but Sebastian had to focus on his job and forget about his boss for a few minutes. That, or he would end up botching up his task for the first time. 

Finally the target emerged from the back door of the gambling den. 

Sebastian took aim. 

The man approached the building on top of which the sniper was crouching. In another few meters he would have a bullet inside his head. Sebastian held his breath to keep his hands rock steady and gently tried to shoulder nudge Jim to wake up. 

Suddenly the target stopped, looked up at him and smiled. Yes, smiled. Then he waved. 

This is not good, this is a trap and damn Jim for coming along with him. Now he had to make it to the car two blocks away with Jim in his arms because there was no way the smaller man could leap from rooftop to rooftop like Sebastian was so used to doing. 

He was about to rouse Jim who was still dozing and a dead weight on his shoulder when someone sprayed something on his face. Gosh, they were closer than I thought, were his last thoughts and fears as he sank into a short period of chemical-induced unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim's dependence on Sebastian scares the criminal. According to him 'Dependence is a disadvantage'


	15. Magic Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hand that wields the dagger often stabs itself as an experiment

When he came to, Sebastian yelled out with the full force of his lungs.

It wasn’t the dry feeling in his throat or the wooly feeling in his head, both resulting from the knockout drug administered to him, that bothered him; nor was it the pain in his shoulder where he had been kicked while he was out, possibly to determine if he was really out or not. His only fear, pain and shame stemmed from the fact that Jim had been kidnapped and the only reason Jim was in danger was because he had been too stupid to stop it from happening. 

He briefly considered calling some of his men but decided against that quickly. If someone had hatched this plot without Sebastian’s knowledge and Jim’s, then it had to be a member of their next level of associates. That could be anybody. If Seb tried to raise the alarm, he would actually do himself a disservice and alert the enemy within to take counter actions. He had to do this on his own, alone, much like some of the assignments from his army days. With that thought in mind he quickly looked around for clues and hints and found Jim’s tie there, along with the cover of his mobile phone. He tried to call the man but his phone was switched off. 

After a bit more thorough searching and digging, he found some footsteps and the tracks of a man who had been dragged down. This had to be Jim and his attackers. Sebastian rushed downstairs and found the tracks ending at the dead end of the alley. 

Fortunately there was a traffic camera close by which captured all images in that alley. Sebastian rushed two blocks down and grabbed his laptop from the car boot. Jacob looked at him, vaguely wary, but Sebastian didn’t say a word to him yet. He would, but only after he had found Jim’s whereabouts. 

It took him little time to get a hacker on the line and download the images captured in the past hour and half. 

“Gotcha,” he said as he spotted a red van in which six men, including the target he was supposed to take down, bundled Jim and drove off like the wolves were on their tail. 

It took him little more than ten minutes to use the surveillance network and informer web and trace the location of the van. As he instructed Jacob to drive down there, he quickly pulled up a software on his phone, one which Jim had actually invented and coded, and tried to track down the mastermind through an experimental method. He remembered Jim giving him a demo of this and he was thankful to himself for having heard the man out to the minutest details. 

Jim’s watch had a small tracking device which, if connected to this software, could be traced out within the vicinity of five miles. Initially when Sebastian tried the connection timed out. But as they neared the location of the van, the connection pinged and established finally. 

Those bull crap fellows had tried to play a trick on anyone who might be following them by parking the van in an abandoned car graveyard and moving up at least by a mile to their hideout. But Sebastian had no difficulty tracing them to the last ten meters, all thanks to the masterful invention Jim had made. “They must be several in number,” Jacob said as they looked up at the building under construction, “Do you want me to ask for reinforcements?” 

“We don’t have that kind of time,” Sebastian replied, checking for his weapons, all six of them he carried on his person, “And before you ask, no you shouldn’t go up there with me. I know you want to help but you are more needed here, ready with the car engine running. At least this way I can send Jim down and you can drive him to safety. Just stay put here and trust me Jake, I will bring the boss back safe and sound.” 

***

He burst on to the scene in a planned manner, having already laid out traps all around and ensured nobody managed to get away without him noticing. He found all six men sitting there and playing cards, Jim tied to a chair in the corner and slumped forward, as if knocked out. There was something red on his shirt and the faithful sniper cringed, hoping it is not Jim’s blood but perhaps the blood of one of the kidnappers. The brunette’s suit jacket has been taken off and one of the goons was wearing it loosely over his shoulders. At that sight Sebastian’s blood boiled and he snarled when he saw the man slide his arms into it as if he didn’t want to part from it at all.

“Last chance,” he said, “Let him go and I can perhaps leave you be with just broken bones.” 

The men looked at each other with fake shock, as if they were alarmed, then everyone burst out laughing. While some of them clutched their stomachs and the table in front of them, trying to control their laughter, the rest didn’t even try to hold back. They howled with laughter, their eyes on Sebastian and sizing him up. Sebastian was a large man but there were two large men in the group and the sniper was outnumbered one is to six. None of them men saw any reason to feel any fear and their leader, the man whom Seb was supposed to take out earlier, stepped forward to address him. 

“How about we kick your arse into the next century instead faithful doggy?” He put his hands on his hips. 

“Must say blondie, you should have simply stayed where we left you,” one of the black men quipped, “Don’t say later we didn’t give you a chance.” 

One of the shorter men in the group, an Asian with dark eyes and a military crew cut, let out a derisive and barking laughter. “You threatened to break our bones? I am sorry, we are not so merciful. We would break something more than just your bones Mr. Moran. But first maybe we’ll break the wrists of the man you’re trying to save….” 

At that Colonel Sebastian Moran lost it. 

“What did you say….You will break my Jim’s wrists, you will BREAK his wrists???” 

Sebastian launched himself at the men with two martial art weapons, a nunchaku and a shuriken. In no time two men were lying injured and writhing on the floor while a third had been slammed against the wall and was hanging there where Seb had literally hung him out to dry by hooking his jacket on to a peg. One of the remaining three men raised his handgun at Sebastian but the latter was too quick for that and deftly avoided being shot. The next moment the man with the gun let out a cry of pain and lay on the ground, clutching his arm where Seb had shot him. 

He beat up the two remaining men soundly and quickly freed Jim, holding him in his arms. “You okay baby, you all right Jimmy,” he shook the man gently, afraid to be rough with him in case he was hurt somewhere, “I am here, your Sebby is here. You will be fine.” 

The men were not letting them go that easily of course and three of the ones who had recovered jumped on to him and pulled him away. Jim once again slumped forward and nearly fell off the chair while Sebastian, mad at being separated from the man he loved so much, started to get really violent. He shot one of the men on his chest and grabbed another one, throwing him over the edge and plummeting at least fifty feet below. Gasps and squeals rose from the remaining four as they gathered together in one corner and huddled down, the leader now visibly distressed and looking at Jim, who was still motionless on the chair. 

“Jimmy you all right?” Sebastian kept his gun raised at the men but his eyes on Jim as his fingers sifted through the soft hairs that now fell all over Jim’s face, “You are a brave one, a tough nut to crack. Please tell me you’re all right. They couldn’t really break you, right?”

To his shock Jim lifted his head and sat up straighter, his expression wicked and his grin downright evil. “Of course, I am all right and these men didn’t even come close to breaking me. How would they even dare?” 

Sebastian stepped back a bit, “But how….I don’t get it….” 

Jim stood up, steady and unhurt, and stretched his arms above his head. “For someone who can be rather fast with his moves, you are so slow in the brain Sebby. These men can’t hurt me. They work for me damn it, they were only following orders.” 

“Boss,” the leader of the group, the man Jim had initially shown to Sebastian as his ‘target’, rushed forward with a dismayed look on his face, “Jiri and Kane are dead. Cheung is badly injured. We hadn’t expected Colonel Moran to get so ferocious with us.” 

“Me neither,” Jim said nonchalantly, ignoring Sebastian who was staring at him in total exasperation, “Take Cheung to the hospital and get some money across to Jiri and Kane’s families. Too bad what happened to them but this is part and parcel of the work we do.” 

“Jim,” Sebastian turned accusatory eyes on Jim as the last of the men left that floor. 

“Call me boss when others are around, did I not tell you?” Jim scowled. 

“You will answer me and not deflect the topic,” Sebastian shoved Jim up against the wall and blocked him bodily from escaping, one meaty hand placed flat on the wall about six inches from his left cheek and the long fingers of his other hand lodged around the criminal mastermind’s throat. 

When Jim didn’t say a word Sebastian growled, “Answer me.” 

A knee to his groin made him double over, clutch at his family jewels and back off from Jim who was snarling and yelling at him with rage. “How dare you talk down to me and push me up against the wall like that?” The criminal was purple with rage, “I am your boss, your employer, you are nothing but an insect and a splattered rodent lying in my path. You live if I allow you and you die when I wish. You don’t question me on anything, ANYTHING, you understand you no good sonofabitch? Just because you came in here and scared those sodding little bastards off doesn’t mean you can raise your voice to me, to ME? I am Jim Moriarty, not some little vermin for you to play with.” 

He left Sebastian there on the half-finished tiled floor, on his knees and still in some pain, and walked down the staircase. The sixth floor of the building under construction was silent again, save for Sebastian’s panting breaths as he tried to make some sense from the situation. Jim had allowed this to happen, he had planned this kidnapping, oh yes that’s why he was so insistent on accompanying Sebastian. Now he got it, he had been fooled into thinking Jim was in crisis. 

Shit. 

Not sure if he should be mad at Jim for the way he had treated him just now or upset with himself for losing control of his emotions or plain confused over his boss’s dark plans of staging his own kidnapping, he lurched his way down the stairs. The guard rails had still not been fixed and he came dangerously close to sliding over the edge several times, so distracted was he with all those thoughts buzzing around in his head. 

He saw Jim waiting in the car for him, already busy on his phone. 

Sebastian looked at Jacob and from the way the older man pleaded with his eyes, he knew Jacob had no idea about this. He avoided the backseat and took the seat next to Jacob instead. If Jim noticed it, and notice he surely did, he didn’t comment on that. 

***

“Come to bed,” Jim ordered after dinner, opening his laptop to do some more work. 

“No, I will sleep in my room,” Sebastian said as he washed the dishes at the sink. 

He could literally feel Jim’s eyes on his back but he continued to do the dishes, not saying anything further, not even when his boss came closer and perched on the counter next to the sink. He began to take the washed dishes from the sniper and started to dry them quickly with a dish towel before putting them on the rack. This silent standoff continued for the next five to seven minutes and as soon as the last of the soiled dishes had been washed, Jim repeated his words to Sebastian. The only difference was that this time it actually sounded like a request and not an order. “Come on Sebby, it’s late and after some emails I intend to crash. Don’t be boring and girlie now, stop that sullen look. Let’s get to bed.” 

He tried to pull the blond man closer but the lieutenant stepped away, just enough to be outside the small man’s reach. Jim made a disgruntled sound at the back of his throat. 

Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Jim with a vacant expression in those blue orbs. It hurt inside, it hurt a lot, but he didn’t want to give Jim the satisfaction of seeing how bad he felt. “Look sir, I know I am in your employment and therefore I cannot question you or make any claims on you whatsoever. Even my emotions don’t matter here, I agree with you on that as well. But if this is a strictly employer and employee relationship then I don’t need to warm your bed either. From now on, I pledge my loyalty and allegiance to you, promise to continue my dog eyed devotion as you so charmingly put sometimes, but I am not available at your beck and call to fuck and sleep with. I intend to go to my own bedroom tonight and if you wish to stop me, you will have to shoot me at the back of my head…..sir.” 

“Don’t be an idiot,” Jim bit back, “You’re just being sentimental. How silly can you be huh? We are not teenagers on the high-school campus, we are grown men, we handle a business empire, a criminal empire. We can’t afford to be soft. I can see through your mask.” 

“There is no mask on my face sir, it’s just a resigned feeling towards my fate. Good night to you sir.” 

“Sebby wait….please tiger.”

Sebastian almost stopped. After he had narrated the story of how he had killed a tiger in India with his kukri, Jim had teasingly called him tiger a few times. He also claimed to adore the tiger tattoo and stripes on Seb’s back. 

Jim gave a triumphant giggle and Sebastian’s resolve to stick to his decision deepened and strengthened. The moment of weakness passed and he marched towards his room, balling his hands into fists and digging his nails into his palms to keep a hold over his self-control. 

No Seb, don’t look, don’t turn and look into those eyes because you will give in to him automatically. You need to let him know he can’t have his cake and eat it too. Keep going and close the door. 

Which Sebastian did!

He thought he heard the whisper ‘Come back Sebby, I am sorry’ but he was sure he was mistaken. He had only heard a voice in his head and those words were was his own fanciful wishes. Those were neither the words nor the voice of the Jim he lived with. 

***

In two hours Sebastian was beginning to regret what he had done. No matter how annoying or irritating or downright fiendish his boss was, he still found the man’s presence better than his absence. With the new sleeping arrangements they had started, Sebastian sleeping in Jim’s bed on all those nights when they were both in town and in that house, that abominable habit of keeping Jim close now extended to their moments between the sheets. 

Naturally he couldn’t sleep. Bed seemed too large, too cold, too alien. It was one thing to sleep alone in a hotel bed when you’re traveling on your own or sleep alone on your own bed when the other person is traveling or not at home, but to be in bed when the man you love is very much present and only a room away….now that was unthinkable. Stupid Sebby, he cursed himself, now lie awake all night. 

He tried to reason with himself that he had done what a self-respecting man would do. But then he had long realized he had no self-respect or anything remotely close when it came to Jim. Over the past eight odd months the man had slotted himself into his heart, mind, body and soul and there was no escaping Jim Moriarty even if he was not physically present with Sebastian. Jim still managed to fill his thoughts, emotions, get into his head in a manner where Sebastian would start hallucinating his presence and hear his voice distinctly and constantly. It was uncanny how that genius madman could have invaded his life and conquered every moment of it. 

Half an hour passed after that and Sebastian went to the bathroom to use the toilet. He had drunk too much water and was restless and edgy. He heard the faint sound of another toilet flushing and realized Jim was up and about as well. Peering out of the door he saw a sliver of light under the door of Jim’s bedroom. Yeah, the man was definitely up. 

He considered for a second if he should knock on that door and decided against it. 

No Seb, this is too low even for your pathetic self. Let him come to you. 

He huffed out an annoyed breath and returned to bed. As he lay there he prayed for either a magical moment where Jim would call out to him (and this time he wouldn’t say no) or for a club to appear so he could knock himself out for the night.

Then, suddenly, magic happened. 

He thought he heard Jim outside in the hallway. Then his bedroom door opened and closed softly, light footsteps approached the bed which dipped under a slight weight and voila, he had a criminal mastermind wrapped all over his back. Jim had got into bed with him!!!

In just under two minutes he heard the man snoring, slender tiny arms and legs holding on to Sebastian like a monkey climbing a tall tree. God, how on earth did he manage to fall asleep in a flash? 

No sooner had he finished that thought, Sebastian was snoring too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim wanted to see exactly to what lengths Sebby would go for him and how efficiently. 
> 
> Also, he is at that stage when he has started to need his Tiger but is fighting that attraction. Hence he needs to see the man fail, so he could say to himself 'I told you so'


	16. Jealous Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is in love, a twisted, warped, possessive kind of love

“Mr. Wozniak, let me tell you for the last time that I can’t save your brother,” Jim barked, “He has tangled with someone who is extremely important in the country, affiliated not only to the British government but also one of our informers and connections, he is a ‘cantilever bridge’, if you understand what I mean.” 

Everyone nodded, including Wozniak. Cantilever bridge was the code-word for a select group of men and women who worked in international espionage or homeland security, ones who knew the underworld and actually maintained good relations with them because that association often came in handy. It was a rather unholy matrimony between dangerous people on both sides, but they needed each other and kept up the alliance. 

Sebastian stood behind Jim’s chair, leaning against the wall, literally watching his back (he had a kinky obsession with Jim’s pert and round little tushy and the back of his neck). Jim was in his immaculate, proper, enterprising businessman avatar a few hours ago when he read out the annual report of his legit companies to the Board. Now he was the criminal mastermind with a set of clients and associates, spewing out threats. Suddenly he would be the commander of the web, scaring the shit out of some of their own men, including big burly dangerous assassins. Hours later he would be the little kitten Sebastian had grown so fond of, curling up on the couch in their house and ordering him to make coffee or tea or a cocktail for him.

“Mycroft Holmes will kill him,” Wozniak was in near tears, “Please, our fathers worked together and I have done everything you have ever asked me to do.” 

“So you have. But Mycroft is Mycroft, truly one of the most dangerous men in England and who wields considerable influence in international politics as well. If I try to take him down many moving parts of the system will come to a grinding halt, some will fall, and even we will be in trouble. I suggest you forget you had a brother, a silly brother who tried to lock horns with someone I had clearly asked him to stay away from.” 

Wozniak looked sad but somehow bought the logic behind the statement from Jim. The others nodded in agreement too. More topics came up and finally the meeting was concluded. 

“Boss,” Sebastian spoke when the last of the men had left the plush hotel suite which was booked 24/7 for Jim. 

“Hmmm?” 

“I need some hours off.” 

“Why?” 

“What do you mean why? I have things of my own to do.” 

“Then we will go together.” 

Sebastian’s eyes went wide, “What do you mean?” 

Jim didn’t seem to get his amazement or bewilderment. The smaller man simply shrugged and pointed at himself and Sebastian with both arms, “Like the two of us do things together, like we have been doing for several months now. The other day you needed new clothes and we went together, another day we went and shopped for wine and gourmet meats and cheese, you had paperwork to be completed for that damned gun manufacturer you work for and I had it brought over to the house so you could complete it while making me a nice shepherd’s pie. Yes, something like that! So what kind of things/jobs/errands are you supposed to complete today?” 

“Jim I don’t believe this.” 

“Don’t believe what?” 

“This. That we have to be joined at the hip.” 

“Really? Welcome to my world Moran. I thought my dad had joined you to my hip.” 

“Jim this isn’t about you, it’s about me. I have personal work.” 

“There is NOTHING personal about you anymore Moran,” Jim yelled. Mary, who was about to walk in with some files for Jim to sign, backheeled out of the door in fright. Outside the glass walls of the room, he could see a seven-foot black man named Chase, an import from New Orleans and a loyal member of their bodyguards, shift uncomfortably in his place. An angry and deranged Jim was that dangerous and fear inducing!

“Sorry sir,” Sebastian was not going to back off, “But I do have a personal life, not matter how teeny weeny a portion of my overall life it is.” 

“You are trying to backstab me,” Jim growled, “You have planned to meet someone to plot against me right?”

Sebastian’s eyes went wide, “I can do that if I want to, that doesn’t require for me to step away from you. All I need to do is utilize the time you’re asleep, busy or away to some other country. Christ, even I travel for hits and business deals. Can’t I go rogue during those days?”

“You are not going anywhere, that’s that.” 

“Jim stop it.” 

“Fine, fuck off.” 

“Jim…..listen, you will realize why….” 

“Just fuck-fuck off you moron an-and don’t show me your face tonight. You ugly, uncouth cunt faced douche bag.”

Sebastian didn’t feel very good about leaving Jim alone like this but he had to go today.

He hadn’t told Jim because it was meant to be a surprise. It was Jim’s birthday soon and just a couple of days later was the day when Jim and Sebastian had first met. Treating it as a double occasion of happiness and knowing from Mary that Jim had not had birthdays celebrated in a while, Sebastian was planning a surprise party for him and also some really nice gifts. Obviously he couldn’t let the very man who he was planning these surprises for to accompany him when he went shopping or organizing, could he? Jim could be such a pest at times, downright bratty and demanding and sometimes overwhelmingly clingy and needy. 

On other days he liked that needy streak. Today it would have upstaged his plans. 

***

“Seb….Sebastian….Moran are you deaf?” 

“Tommy!!!” 

Thomas Bright rushed up to Sebastian and gave him a bear hug, looking very happy indeed on seeing his buddy after months. The last time they had met was three months ago when Sebastian had managed to sneak in an evening of his own while Jim had gone to Paris to play hide and seek with some French detective there. The man had been getting a bit too controlling of late and hardly allowed Sebastian his personal space. Sebastian indulged him because a) It was part of his job to be around Jim and b) He didn’t mind being around Jim all the time because he loved the man. But he couldn’t deny that it was nice to meet other people too, for a change. 

“It’s so good to see you buddy,” Tom was all smiles as he looked at the huge packets in Sebastian’s hands suspiciously, “Don’t tell me there is someone special. Because there is no way you can be so elusive and shop so much unless there is a budding romance in your life!” 

Sebastian couldn’t help but color slightly. Okay maybe severely. 

“Jesus,” Tom was snickering, “That’s so cute colonel.” 

“Stop it.” 

“You are in love. God damn it, you have finally found someone.” 

“Tommy…..shush.” 

“Well, at least let’s sit somewhere and chat about it. I would like to know who the lucky man is and maybe meet him someday.” 

Sebastian imagined Tom hanging upside down from a seventeenth-floor balcony and Jim blowing raspberries at him. “Ah, he isn’t the mingling kind,” he confessed without confessing too much, “But give me a few more days and I can show you his photograph.” 

“Fair enough, fair enough,” Tom said, “How about I drag your busy arse to a pub where at least we can drink some beer and talk about good old times?” 

They actually have a fun two hours catching up on old times and talking about their common acquaintances and friends. Someone has had a baby, someone is engaged, someone just moved to another country, somebody is having an affair with a woman twice his age and so on and so forth. They laughed, drank, did some fist bumping and two hours just flew past as if they were two minutes and not more. Sebastian had to go after that so he bade goodbye to his buddy and walked out of the pub with his shopping bags. As he drove back to the house he shared with Jim, he silently admitted to a tiny pang of guilt inside his heart. He did miss this man and their other friends and the social life they had, but given a choice he would always pick Jim above the rest. 

***

When he stepped into their house he found that Jim’s home office door was closed. The lights were on and he heard sounds of typing and barked orders from there. 

Not sure how Jim’s mood would be, Sebastian carefully stepped into his bedroom and shut the door. He began to wash up and change into his usual sweat pants and T shirt, going through the sequence of planned events the day after. 

He had decided to use the garden and poolside of Albert’s property for the party and invite only the inner circle members and trustworthy associates. Not more than fifteen of them overall. The food and booze would be handled by Mary and some of the people she worked closely with, people who she guaranteed wouldn’t let their side down and always remain discreet. All of them had pooled money together and had bought Jim a Patek-Phillippe watch, a pocket-watch in fact, from their vintage collection. The base was gold and one side of the flip open watch had an enameled center with Jim’s portrait hand carved into it. The whole piece was complete with a designer gold chain which Jim could easily wear with one of his three piece suits. 

He had bought Jim some other things as well but those were personal gifts that he had thoughtfully and privately chosen that early evening. Nobody else but Jim would see them eventually. 

He had just bent down to pick up his discarded clothes when a curt voice sounded. “So the cat is back from its prowl.” 

He jumped, “Oh Jimmy, you gave me a start.” 

“Oh, the colonel gets a start! How so? They say you don’t get startled when there is nothing to fear.” 

“Of course I have nothing to fear. What are you talking about?” 

“Oh so now you dare to be defiant too. After all you have done? You shameless, lying, cheating whore!” 

What have I done, what have I done exactly, now what, what has gotten into that disturbed head of his. Before he could even think through that he suddenly felt an expert blow land on the small of his back and he felt pain shoot up his spine. Another blow to the back of his knees and he was on his front in bed, temporarily indisposed and pained, Jim sitting on his butt and pinning him down on the bed. Sebastian took only seconds to recover but he decided against throwing Jim off and trying to subdue the man. Jim’s voice was one of quiet rage and in this condition he could be more than a handful, even for a strong man like Sebastian. So he lay there, trying to turn his head to the side so he could see what his boss/lover was up to. 

A smack landed on his cheek the moment he did that. 

“You cheated on me.” 

“I….I what…..” 

“You met that bastard.” 

“I met who?” 

“Your great love Thomas Bright, the journalist who you were drinking with in the guise of doing ‘personal things’ this evening. You both even disappeared into the toilet for almost fifteen minutes. What do you think me to be? A fool? A total idiot? Am I blind?” 

“Jim you are getting it wrong….so wrong….he is….” 

“Shut up you whore.” 

His T shirt was hitched up and his pants were pushed down slightly. But whereas Sebastian was expecting Jim to maybe smack his arse or demand rough sex, he felt a sharp shooting pain on the side, next to his right hipbone. Jim was cutting him with something pointed and sharp, yet small and thin. Anyone else would have panicked but he was Sebastian fucking Moran so he calmly asked his boss, “What do you think you are doing sir? If you want to kill me you need to do that elsewhere.” 

“Did I permit you to talk you dick? Or should I cut off your dick so you can’t do all this dicking around?” 

“Jim it’s always been you….” 

“Liar.” 

“I swear.” 

“Now you will not have to swear. You can show it off.” 

The weight shifted from his butt and he turned to the side. Jim held a mirror strategically and aside from some droplets of blood on the sheets (God, more laundry this weekend, Sebastian thought), he saw a calligraphy style carving on the flesh just below his jutting hipbone. A neat and aesthetic ‘JM’ done with a knife which was meant for deep-set engravings on surfaces. This would stay life-long, a mark of the man’s name, the name which owned him and possessed him a long time ago. James Moriarty, JM, his owner, keeper, lover and his life. Sebastian knew he had a streak of masochism in him but this was the crowning glory of it, as he felt more ecstatic than grieved by the pain his possessive boss had inflicted upon him. 

Jim owned him. He had been marked. 

God, that pain felt so good. 

He wanted to be branded like this all his life, to be known as the only man Jim Moriarty wanted to own.

And oh yeah fuck, he was now hard as a rock. He couldn’t hold back a soft moan. 

His body’s response and that wanton sound stunned even someone as unhinged as Jim. The moment he saw what was happening he rolled his eyes and said, “I don’t believe you Moran, I simply don’t. First of all, don’t you even flinch a little when I have impulse control problems and torture you. Secondly, do you not feel any fucking pain at all? I carved my initials on your skin, the cuts are deep and you are bleeding, yet all you show is a huge monstrous erection down there???” 

“Boss I won’t bleed to death. So claim me.” 

“I just did….” 

“No, I mean you can take me if you want.” 

Jim’s breath hitched. Sebastian knew he was giving away too much of himself, he had never bottomed and he didn’t have any idea what it might feel like. Yet the moment was such that all he wanted was for Jim to possess him even further. There was something hugely sexy about Jim’s cock inside him while is initials were carved out on Sebastian’s skin, just inches from the place where they’d be joined. 

“Blood kink?” 

“Whatever it is, just do it Jimmy,” Sebastian hissed, “Take me, own me, be my first. If that’s what makes you trust me then so be it, go on ahead. I am all yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chappie - Moran bottoms (yes!)


	17. Hell hath no fury like jealous Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some Mormor loving, Jim reveals something that would shock the five senses out of Sebastian

//What are you doing Sebastian//

//What are you doing Sebastian//

The words reverberated in his head. But it was too late to go back on his words now and Sebastian lay pliantly on the sheets as he heard Jim fetch the lube. He pretended to be much braver than he felt and even though the sound of the bottle being uncapped seemed like a cannon’s boom to his ears, he attempted to be as relaxed and unaffected as possible. He would be thirty-six in just two months and till to date he had never even allowed a guy to finger him there or push in a small toy, let alone put their entire instrument inside. Jim was not as huge as he was but he was well endowed, nice and thick, and even though Sebastian had enjoyed having a mouthful of that man-meat he wasn’t sure he would love it up his arse. 

Too late now!

A few slaps landed on his arse and he gasped. He had spanked people but never been spanked seriously by anyone. Jim had spared nothing, held back nothing as his palms landed on Sebastian’s bubble butt. It stung like a bitch but also felt surprisingly good!

“Now ease up or I will fuck you dry,” Jim growled. 

He was getting self-conscious, Sebastian could sense that. Replacing his own apprehensions with aggression and unnecessary show of masculinity. Seb turned his head to one side and called out softly, “You are my first Jim, I will follow your lead here. As I said just now, do what you want to do with me. I am all yours.” 

Jim hesitated. 

Sebastian waited, wondering why the delay. 

Then he heard a sigh. 

“Jim,” he rolled over to his back and looked at the small figure which looked tinier in his current unassuming state. One glance down there and the soldier saw that his boss was also rapidly losing his erection. “Jim,” he called out once again, “Don’t you want me now?” 

Jim became Jim and smacked him hard on his side. “Of course I do you idiot….just that…” 

“Just what?” 

“I haven’t topped.” 

All the fear, angst, apprehension and insecurity simply melted away from his system and Sebastian sat up on the slightly bloodied sheets. He grasped Jim’s face in his large hands and made him look up into his eyes. After his usual two-minute stubborn defiance, those large hazel brown orbs focused on Sebastian’s blue ones. “You haven’t topped before and I haven’t bottomed earlier,” the blonde said softly, sincerely, “Do you realize that means we were meant to explore things together? You teach me how to bottom and I give you the experience of being the top. I don’t know about you but I am honored to be your first Jimmy. And before you snap at me for calling you Jimmy, please note that I know you like someone calling you that.” 

Jim looked angry for just a moment before he pushed Sebastian down and flipped him on to his front in a sudden and surprising show of strength. For someone so slightly built, he sure was strong as an ox. “Spread your legs soldier,” came the command. 

Sebastian did that immediately, eager to please Jim and momentarily unbothered about his own comfort with this. He parted his legs wider and tried not to tense up when Jim began to squirt lube around his opening. Slowly a finger touched him there and Jim began to massage the furled little hole, getting Sebastian to adjust to the touches before the real breach happened. Sebastian was trying his best not to react, not to go rigid or tighten up there, when something unthinkable happened. He felt Jim’s tongue on his balls, licking at first and then sucking the balls into his hot and wet mouth and without a warning he yelled out with pleasure. His entire body jerked and he felt himself begin to harden. 

“You like?” Jim’s muffled voice came from down there. 

“Yeah oh yeah,” he responded, clutching at a pillow. 

“More?” 

“Please, please more…more!”

“I always knew there is a slut in you.” 

Oh well, insults would never stop with Jim around, he was used to them by now. If anything, he was happy to note that Jim’s moment of self-doubt had passed. 

He didn’t even realize when one finger had been slipped in and when one finger had become two. Jim kept opening him up patiently and after a while Sebastian actually welcomed that intrusion, loving those three digits up his arse and lightly nicking some spot there that made his cock harden even more than before. 

“Going to fuck you now,” Jim purred into his ear and lay down on top of him but not before he had pushed a pillow underneath Seb’s groin to elevate his rear a little bit. 

Sebastian tried not to think about what was about to happen. He attempted to focus on other things like ‘I am no longer bleeding’, ‘The sheets need to be changed after this’ and ‘Do we still go ahead and do the party at Albert’s place day after tomorrow’. Anything but the thought of taking a dick up his arse. He was not averse to it for reasons of macho bullshit, it was quite simply a fear of being intruded at a spot which he had very closely guarded and kept out of bounds in spite of being a bisexual man. 

Right now he was sure he had crossed over completely to gay because the moment Jim pulled his fingers out, he felt curiously empty and needy. 

The blunt head of Jim’s cock nudged at his opening and he held his breath. Jim gripped the base of his cock and after three attempts, managed to push past the tight ring muscle. 

Despite his best efforts to take this like a man, a groan of pain and a slight wheezing sound of fear left him. To his total surprise, Jim held back his efforts instantly and whispered something like ‘relax Sebby’ into his ears. The colonel nodded and put his utmost best effort to stay as relaxed as he could and focus on the moment rather than the activity but he still couldn’t prevent his body from rebelling against that intrusion. Jim was shaking on top of him by now, pleasure taking over his body while his brain was trying its best not to rush into this and hurt Seb in the process. When Sebastian realized that, he practically considered that to be a ‘I love you’ from his megalomaniac boss. Jim was accommodating his needs above his own!!!

He raised his head to say something when his eyes fell on a decorative piece of glass on the ceiling. So far Sebastian had only considered that to be a part of the house décor, something that made the place look classy and aesthetic. But tonight he saw its real purpose. He saw images of the two of them in bed, reflected on at least six small surfaces. Naked body against naked body, Jim on top of him, his long legs spread wide…..God, that looked so intoxicating and arousing!

He relaxed and felt Jim slide all the way in, groaning out loud with pleasure. 

“Oh yeaaah, God you are so tight Tiger!” 

“Do me kitten.” 

“Kit….what?”

“Fuck now? Talk later?” 

“I won’t let this go.” 

“Don’t. But do me now, take your pleasure!” 

Jim grunted and began to suck on a spot behind Sebastian’s ears. A strange sensation went down his spine and pooled in his groin, making the former soldier shudder in response. He felt his balls tighten and opened his mouth to shoot out a warning when Jim shushed him. 

“I know….later then!” 

With a start he began to move inside Seb and though initially the burn and the sting of the stretch was a little uncomfortable, it soon gave way to so much pleasure and such awesome sensations that Sebastian began to push back on Jim to get him even deeper inside himself. 

Gosh, I can’t believe I am even enjoying this, craving for it!

Then Jim hit something inside him and he let out a holler. It came from deep within him. 

Jim almost snickered triumphantly before he made a series of shallow thrusts and hit the jackpot again. Sebastian found himself moaning shamelessly as he wriggled his arse and tried to get Jim to hit that spot again. It occurred to him then that this was the very reason why all those who he had topped enjoyed bottoming so much. It was an intense shooting bolt of pleasure that grazed the edges of his loins and set the tip of his cock on fire, making him rock hard and grind down on the sheets he was lying on. His arse muscles tightened in response and he heard Jim moaned loudly with pleasure, withdrawing almost all the way and then plunging back inside once again. 

“Fuck me baby,” he pleaded, “Fuck the cum out of me.” 

Jim shuddered this time and began to fuck him in the earnest. He had been holding back a bit, Sebastian had realized that, and when he gave him the go ahead to be rough and randy, it seemed to unleash the criminal into his known territory, no holds barred and no inches spared. He pushed in deeper and deeper and drilled through him like a man possessed, Sebastian letting out appreciative and delighted moans in response, as the room resonated with the sounds of their passion. 

Sebastian’s mind wandered off a bit even as his body stayed right there, absorbing all the pleasure it was subjected to!

Why had I not done this before?

But I am glad I waited. The wait was worth it. This is worth it. 

At some point the need to touch himself became so great that he tried to sneak his hand underneath to at least relieve some pressure from his leaking cock. 

“Let me,” Jim offered. 

“Babe you can’t, not in this position.” 

“On your hands and knees then.” 

“All right boss, you are the boss.” 

“Don’t be an ass now.” 

“I am giving you power and you call me an ass?” 

“That is power. I get to call you anything I want. Ass, tiger, fucker, whore, my slut, anything.” 

“Anything,” Sebastian repeated, enjoying every moment of this. Bottoming was still not something he was too eager for but with Jim it wouldn’t ever be a problem again. The man knew how to please him and it was like their bodies slotting in together perfectly, every movement in perfect harmony, every little action provoking an equal reaction. In short, this was perfect. This felt perfect!

It was indeed perfect till it got to be too much and Sebastian felt the changes in their motions. 

Jim was now thrusting a little out of control, the perfect rhythm faltering as he began to chase an incredible climax. His tight little body slithered and slapped against Sebastian’s as the taller man struggled to keep himself balanced on his knees and a single hand, the other one glued to his cock as he jerked off desperately. He wanted to cum the moment he felt Jim let go. He was never a romantic but at this moment paradigm shifts were happening to him and he found himself craving for that picture perfect joint orgasm. He was close but he wasn’t about to let go till he felt warmth flow into him and Jim crying out in pleasure. 

“Seb…Sebby…” 

Jim’s stuttering words, delivered in a tight voice, confirmed his thoughts. Jim was closing in. 

“Let it go….come inside me….wanna feel you cum in me.” 

“Ohhhh….oh God….oh God!” 

“Let go Jimmy, cum for me.” 

Jim let out a series of moans and wails, stiffened completely and suddenly he was coming. He shook like a leaf in the wind, overwhelmed by his orgasm, his thrusts suddenly going deeper than ever before his cock pulsed deep inside Seb’s arse. Then he felt copious amounts of semen being deposited there as Jim’s loud shouts tapered off into soft whimpers of satisfaction. 

Sebastian upped his efforts and stroked himself to an orgasm while Jim continued to thrust into him even after he had finished cumming. It took barely thirty seconds before Seb roared out in climax, mind and body, heart and soul participating in that spiraling web of pleasure and thrill, an all-consuming culmination of their joint passion. 

He collapsed on the bed, taking Jim down with himself. 

They lay like that for a long time and Sebastian had no idea when he had dozed off. When he awoke, he felt Jim still on top of him, having similarly dozed off after the huge orgasm they had shared. 

“Jim….Jimmy?” 

“Mmmmfffggg.” 

“Get off of me baby. Let’s lie down the right way.” 

“Mmmm…kay.” 

They lay down together in bed and Sebastian was just about to go off to sleep when Jim got up quietly. He went to the bathroom and Sebastian heard the toilet flush and the water run in the washbasin. He was about to doze off again when Jim returned to the room, carrying a medical kit and a wet washcloth. He had washed off and when Seb extended his hand to take the wet cloth from him, so he could clean up too, the smaller man stunned him by gently and thoroughly cleaning him up. He dragged the washcloth over his crack, stomach and thighs and discarded the now soiled cloth in the laundry basket. Sebastian was wondering if he was indeed asleep and this was a dream when a sharp sting to his side made him sit up. 

Jim had sprayed antiseptic and disinfectant to the cut he had made over Sebastian’s hip bone. 

It was a surprisingly soothing and gentle gesture, something so unlikely of Jim, that it took the sniper to actually absorb the full implications of it. Jim was acting gentle and caring with him, the same Jim who alternated between abusing him and torturing him, the same man who had only half an hour ago carved his initials on his skin using a knife. It didn’t make sense at all but Seb was not averse to enjoying this till it lasted. He allowed Jim to apply an ointment on the cut before the smaller man looked at the sheets. 

“I will change them,” Sebastian offered. 

“No, I will.” 

“Why? It’s my job Jim. You have already done enough for me, just give me a few minutes and I shall….” 

“You better do something else in the meantime.” 

“Hungry? Want me to make something? I can get you a sandwich.” 

Jim suddenly snapped, “Forget the bloody sandwich and go to Crystal Lake, about ten miles up the Highway leading to Oxford. You have to take a turn to the right and up the dirt path to reach the lake because the proper detour will be closed at this hour.” 

“What for Jim?” Sebastian was already pulling on his underwear and trousers. It was a job and if he had to it now, he would do it now. 

But Jim said something that lifted the hair on the back of his head. “You need to…save him.”

When Sebastian threw him a confused look, Jim averted his eyes and said, “Thomas Bright. I gave the orders for him to be…..killed. I thought you had....slept with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed bottom Moran and don't worry, poor Tom won't meet a disastrous fate


	18. Okay then hello Sherlock Holmes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiger saves his friend and meets Jim's ex, soon to be his arch nemesis.

Sebastian had never driven so fast or so recklessly. He had narrowly avoided being smashed by a truck, nearly barreled into three cars, hit a trash can and overturned it, rode over the sidewalk, almost mowed down a pedestrian and come within inches of hitting trees or driving himself off road. But he had managed to hold it all together and somehow land at the spot where he saw the sign for Crystal Lake. 

He swerved to the right and took the dirt path that he had almost missed and drove like a maniac past trees and ditches till he came to a point where he could park and approach the lake on foot. 

He jumped out and almost immediately spotted the car, Tom’s car, a white Ford Fiesta, half submerged in the lake and somehow still afloat on the slippery banks by some miracle. Half of it was underwater and the bank was sloping there, so any moment the rest of it would also slide right underneath. He turned on the headlights of his car and saw his friend, bound and gagged, in the driver’s seat, panic evident in his eyes. The doors were closed and all the windows were rolled up which meant that the car wouldn’t allow water to rush inside the compartment immediately. But once the car went underwater it would also make things doubly difficult for Sebastian to drag his friend out as those glasses were thick and almost unbreakable. 

“Hold on Tommy, I am coming for you buddy.” 

Sebastian’s scream echoed through the air as the tall sniper rushed to save his friend, picking out a crowbar from the boot of his car. Maybe, just maybe, he was on time and would be able to shatter the windshield and get Tom out and away from certain death. 

The car could go to hell for now. He would buy Tom a car later. But first, he had to be saved. 

As he neared the car, he saw Tom’s eyes widen as if he was terrified. It struck Seb as odd that his friend should look more scared than relieved to see him when the reason hit him on the knees and he tripped and fell on his face. 

There was an invisible string holding the car to a nearby tree and thereby keeping it barely afloat and away from sinking to the bottom of the lake. These strings were often used in movies, to tow vintage cars in period films so they would appear to be ‘driven’ or to suspend stuntmen and women from great heights as they substituted for the actors who were supposed to fall off a cliff or a building. Hardly visible but super strong. 

Now Sebastian had tripped over it foolishly and set off the trap. 

The car began to sink. 

His heart in his mouth, the former soldier managed to reach the drowning car in five big leaps and started to hammer away at the windshield. Damn, not effect. It would give away but not quickly enough for him to rescue his friend. 

He tried the windows, same problem. 

Then he spotted the sun roof. 

Fortunately the solid cover for the sunroof was drawn aside so all he had to do was break through the glass cover. It was not exactly flimsy but it was not as stout as the windshield or windows either and, after some solid hammering, the clear sheet cracked and smashed into several shards. By then the car was under water and rolling down towards the bottom of the lake. Sebastian held his breath long enough to hoist his friend out and drag him up till their heads were bobbing over the water. The first thing he did was remove the gag and Tom took in gulping breaths of air while Sebastian wrapped an arm around him and swam to the shore, leaving the Ford Fiesta to sink further down and disappear into the dark depths of Lake Crystal. 

***

“I am sorry buddy, I really am.” 

Tom sipped the coffee, spiked with brandy, and sat wrapped up in blankets on the couch. Sebastian sat next to him, guilt pouring off his face and voice as he muttered the hundredth apology in the past two hours. 

They had arrived at Tom’s flat an hour ago and Sebastian had helped him change into clean and dry clothes and made him coffee. He had also turned the heat up so his friend, shaking from nerves and cold, was more comfortable. Then, as he recognized signs of normalcy on Tom’s face, he had decided to be completely honest with the man and explain why he was suddenly in the midst of a death and rescue drama. Tom listened, not reacting or commenting, till Sebastian came to the last set of events that had occurred that evening and early night. 

“I am really sorry,” Sebastian sighed again, “I don’t expect you to understand or forgive me now but I hope someday you will.” 

“Stop apologizing you idiot.” 

Sebastian blinked. 

“Yeah, I mean it. Stop saying sorry. If anything, I should thank you for saving me and you should thank yourself for finally making that fellow show how much he loves you.” 

“Wha….what?” Sebastian stared at his friend, puzzled. 

Tom smiled slightly, “Believe me Seb, I am only human and the first thing I feel like doing is reporting this to the cops and hope I see your boss handcuffed and marched into prison. What he did was despicable and his unhinged side speaks of a deep mental illness, but I think I am seeing the man that hides behind all that cruelty and diabolical acts. He is in love with you my friend, more than he can ever admit, and it’s those unresolved issues he has with trust and emotions which is making him act like this. Look back now, did he not start ‘presenting and showing off’ after you refused Zac and he overheard it?” 

“Yes he did.” 

“He was not ready to accept it then but he was already clamoring for your attention. He had seen how suave and smitten Zac was with you and how easily you refused him. It made him feel good about himself, because you had clearly chosen him over Zac, and it created a desire inside him to seduce you. Any other man would have taken you out, given you gifts and praises, spoken about their feelings. But he isn’t normal that way, at least that’s what’s evident from what I hear from you, therefore he chooses unconventional ways to show his jealousy. Initiating sex, then disappearing, then coming back right after you discover him in his hidey hole with an ex, what do you think he was trying to do? Test your loyalty and patience?” 

“No,” Sebastian smacked himself at the back of his head, “Not just that. He wanted to see how far I would go for him. I remember what he told that detective William, no….Sherlock, he had apparently assured him nobody would find Jim there. Yet, when I found him there he came back home the same day. We also had sex that night…..oh God I am such a moron, and then he knew I was drinking with you last evening and…..” 

“And he almost sent me to the bottom of the lake, to a watery grave.” 

“I am sorry.” 

“You do have a lot to be sorry for Colonel,” Tom looked at him with some apathy, “You nearly cost me my life. If you know you have a possessive boyfriend, you should have put him at ease about us. Unless you want to stop seeing us of course.” 

Sebastian bowed his head and listened. Yes, he had gone wrong there. 

“On the better side, he didn’t really want me to die. Otherwise he wouldn’t have sent you to fetch me back to safety.” 

“He keeps testing me Tom, professionally and personally, emotionally and in many other ways. He had himself kidnapped even, possibly just to see if I would risk my life and neck to save him. He cuts me open with a knife and then nurses the wound. I don’t mind anything he does to me, I really love him you know, but I can’t stand by and watch any harm being done on you, Annette or Stephen for that matter.” 

“Talk to him, assure him, keep him happy and secure,” Tom replied, looking jittery, “You have chosen to be part of that world Seb. As a friend all I can do is keep your secret. Now it’s up to you to ensure he doesn’t repeat what happened tonight. I won’t forgive again.”

“I won’t blame you if you don’t,” Sebastian answered slowly, thinking about Jim alone in the house, “And I shall ensure it never comes down to that.” 

***

He came home to a nonchalant Jim working on his laptop and had to haul him off to bed. They didn’t speak a word except for Sebastian telling Jim ‘I saved him’ and Jim responding with a grunt of acknowledgement. 

To his surprise, Jim fell asleep near instantly after getting into bed while Sebastian, in spite of being really dead tired on his feet, sat up nearly till dawn looking at him. I will make you believe I am really into you and into the long haul for this, he kept thinking, as a little plan formed in his head. 

The next morning Sebastian had a hit and some other work to take care of so he was gone even before Jim was awake. Since the work was more on the legitimate side and therefore boring and totally safe, Jim didn’t check on him or have someone tail him. It worked perfectly for Sebastian who had most of the day to get things done per plan. After finishing his tasks he quickly went to the destination he had set his eyes on and got for Jim the most perfect gift for his birthday the next day. But as he was coming out of that place, he suddenly ran into someone he had never expected to see at all. William Sherlock Scot Holmes, aka Jim’s ex-lover and the man whose flat Sebastian had visited some months ago. 

With him was someone Sebastian had met before, in his army days. Good old doctor John Watson, who had once saved Seb’s life after a near fatal bullet wound. As the two former military comrades greeted each other, Sherlock stood like a statue, sizing Sebastian up. He didn’t seem to be the same man Sebastian had met at Baker Street. Then he had been a slightly jealous lover, a wee bit of cheerful and a private investigator who was excited about landing a case. Today he seemed suspicious, stern, professional even.

Later, as John stepped into a shop saying he had something to pick up, the tall curly haired and handsome (Sebastian had to admit he was, in a uniquely sexy way too) detective finally opened his mouth.

“Colonel Moran.” 

“William….” 

“Call me Sherlock. Nobody but my mum, Victor and Jim calls me that.” 

“Okay then, hello Sherlock Holmes.” 

“I know what Jim is now. I also know who you are.” 

“What should I say to that detective,” Sebastian cockily lit a cigarette, “Congratulations on finding out the obvious.” 

“On the contrary,” Sherlock said coldly, “If it was so obvious and I could accumulate some evidence, we wouldn’t be standing here and talking. We would be somewhere else.” 

Sebastian held his gaze, “Do you still love him?” 

When Sherlock didn’t answer he changed the question, “Will you really arrest him?” 

The detective seemed to have a staring contest with him, looking at him fearlessly even though Sebastian, with his superior hand to hand combat skills and larger frame, was definitely in a position of advantage. The sniper was forced to begrudgingly respect the other man, jealousy be damned, just as Sherlock was clearly trying to push his jealousy aside and treat Sebastian as just another dangerous criminal. But there was an element of veneration in those green eyes as well, which meant that Sherlock had done a thorough research on him this time. Clever man, Sebastian had to admit, this time he hadn’t come to battle with an untested weapon. 

“Decorated war hero, an author gifted with the power of words, a man so handsome he could conquer half the society boys with just a look, and yet he chooses to be with someone who is dragging him down the path of destruction?” 

Sherlock’s question made Sebastian smile. “My reasons don’t have to be justified through your eyes Holmes.” 

“If you really love him you will save him from self-destruction Moran.” 

“That will be colonel to you then.” 

“Very well colonel. Please keep it in mind that I am not the same lanky chemistry major at Uni who used to compose something on the violin for him every weekend and gazed at the stars till they blurred into one big black hole every night. I am Sherlock Holmes, the world’s only consulting detective, I work for the MI5, MI6 and The Scotland Yard now. I take cases from international clients and even work with the British and foreign governments. If he crosses my path and I have reasons to suspect him of any wrongdoing, I will have to take action.” 

Sebastian suddenly chuckled. 

This time even Sherlock was taken aback. “Which part of my statement was funny?” 

“None of it. What I find funny is that you don’t seem to be taking your own advice.” 

“How so?” The green eyes narrowed. 

“You are telling me all this when you can jolly well tell him. But you can’t. Because you still have feelings for him.” 

Sherlock’s face, after a brief flush of embarrassment, became a picture of poised control again. He thrust a package into Sebastian’s hands and said, “Tell him I said happy birthday and….and everything else I said to you. After this even I can’t help him. Also, for the records and for your ears, let me state this loud and clear, I have no feelings for anyone. I have carefully cut them out a long time ago and even if it’s my own father or my brother who turns out to be a criminal, I will stand and watch without remorse as they are handcuffed.”

“Keep fooling yourself Holmes,” Seb said, “As for him, don’t worry about him, he has me.” 

***

Sebastian, as per plan, didn’t wish Jim on his birthday nor did he give any impression that he knew anything. He wasn’t surprised that Jim made no attempt to tell him anything either. When he stole a few glances at the man, Jim didn’t even look back at him and treated the day as a busy one, getting on calls while eating breakfast and continuing his back-to-back meetings, conference calls and work on the laptop without as much as a breather. Sebastian did his part of the day’s work and, as always, found time to hand his boss and lover his tea and biscuits when the man refused lunch. He also rattled off the completed tasks and other updates in short bursts whenever Jim was between calls. 

In short, a normal day till it was six in the evening. 

Then Sebastian put his plan to use and asked Jim to go to his bedroom so he could get some ducting work done in the home office. “The heating vents and the air-conditioner ducts are malfunctioning and I’d like to get them fixed before you claw my back with complaints,” was what he said and thankfully Jim bought into it and walked out of the room, still looking at his phone. He quickly called Albert and Mary to let them know things were going per plan and he would bring the boss in by eight thirty at the latest. ‘Roger that colonel,’ Mary said. ‘Will be waiting for the two of you, if you can do the impossible’, said old Albert. 

Moments later Jim flew into the room with, “What the fuck is going on Tiger?” 

Sebastian raised a brow, “I left a note there.” 

“Fuck that note.” 

“I’d rather fuck you but first we are going somewhere.” 

Jim’s cheeks got that rosy blush in an instant. His eyes didn’t glow fiercely so Sebastian knew it was plain arousal and not anger. “I am not into celebrating birthdays,” Jim grumbled. 

“But you have to, this year at least.” 

“Make me.” 

“Oh no, you will do this on your own. You owe me this. You have not only carved your initials into my side for no reason at all, you have tried to kill my best friend as well. The least you can do to appease me is attend your own birthday party which all of us have organized for you Jimmy. Because we care and we want to do this. Call it boring, skin us for this, your choice. But please, come to the party, it’s all our team. How bad can it get?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Sherlock won't end well here but I am not killing off any of them. In my head cannon I believe they can live happily with partners of their choice, in parallel words, but not by crossing paths or rekindling their relationship. Some relationships end because that is for the best for the two people involved.


	19. Declarations of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim softens, Sebastian confesses and yet Sherlock remains in the room like a white elephant

Jim did have a good time at the party. Well, as good as it could be for him. He was initially sullen but Sebastian recognized that as shyness and the unmistakable Jim way of handling it by being rude and somewhat standoffish. But as the evening progressed, he drank a few glasses of wine, and began to lighten up. Mary had organized games worthy of criminals, like ‘build a pocket bomb in under three minutes’ or ‘knife throwing competition’ and other things like that and Jim managed to even win one of the categories. Sebastian and Mary had wanted to tap into the ‘child’ in Jim and things worked perfectly well that way. 

Jim was happy with the unique and personalized Patek-Phillipe pocketwatch and even thanked everyone for that, making the guests gasp with delight. It was the first time Jim had acted more like his dad James Senior, and people were truly appreciative of Sebastian’s efforts in bringing about the change. 

Sebastian noticed that Irene left the party mid-way. She seemed strangely uncomfortable all through and had been quite distracted. The sniper shrugged it off, though he was fairly sure that Irene behaved absolutely cutely with Jim, being all friendly and caring and mother hen like. Well, you don’t have to like me Irene, Sebastian thought with a chuckle and concentrated on his other colleagues. By 1 am Jim was drunk and dancing like a teenager who had been recently released from a strict boarding school and given a crate of beer to guzzle on for the first time in his life. It was cute, hot and sensuous and Sebastian wanted to do nothing other than throw him in bed, strip him and fuck him till he cried out. 

But right here he was the boss. 

“Come on sir,” he nudged Jim, “Let’s head back to the house.” 

“Home?” Jim batted his eyelashes. 

Had he not known Jim and his propensity to put on an act, he would have mistaken this for romance, hope, love. But Jim was Jim even when he was drunk and he loved to fuck Seb’s mind before he let the man fuck him, so he dismissed that act with a ‘More gifts waiting for you chief’ answer. “Home, that is our home,” Jim kept saying as he was half supported, half walked out of the party and bundled into the car. 

Sebastian had drunk less than usual and stopped drinking two and half hours ago, just after eating dinner, so he could drive back safely. He nodded in reply, “Yes it’s your home Jimmy.”

“You know why it’s home?” 

“Jim you are a shitty drinker.” 

“It’s because….” 

“Please reconsider whatever you are about to say next. The morning after won’t be pleasant for either of us when you wake up and remember.” 

“….Because you share it with me now.” 

So easy for him to say, so hard for me to believe, so impossible for this to actually be true. Sebastian started the car and kept driving in silence, texting ‘thank you’ messages at the same time to all those who had organized and attended today’s party. 

***

Jim had been a good boy and allowed Sebastian to fuck him in pitch darkness. Usually Jim liked a bit of light, not too much but at least one light on, a bedside lamp, the bathroom light with the door cracked open, or the hallway light on with the bedroom door ajar, but he did love that little ease of visibility. He liked to look at the images of them on the ceiling while they were making love, liked to stare into Sebastian’s eyes when he was blowing the taller man and ogle the sniper when he stood naked and aroused, ready to join Jim in bed. But that night not even a nightlight had been left on and Jim had acquiesced, just because Sebastian had insisted. 

Buried balls deep in his boss and the man he loved more than life itself, Sebastian’s lips still found Jim’s soft lips and nibbled at them till they were bee stung. Jim kissed back, enjoying the way their stubbles rasped together as they moved. 

It wasn’t a night of animalistic passion and bloodplay, it was a rare night when they had taken time to undress each other and actually enjoyed a long foreplay before Sebastian had sank into the warm and snug depths of Jim, cradling him under his much larger frame as if he would never let any harm, not even a scratch come to him. Jim’s thighs tightened around Sebastian’s hips with every thrust, his breath hitched and he sank his teeth down on the sniper’s shoulder and neck with each hit to his prostate. They moaned softly, sighed even softer and Seb kept his fist light on Jim’s cock, intent on pleasuring him but not letting him come too soon. 

“Tiger,” Jim moaned and his head lolled to the side, “My tiger.” 

“Jimmy….you’re beautiful.” 

“Mmmm…..happy birthday to me.” 

“Many happy returns of the day to you.” 

“What if that doesn’t happen?” 

“Then I will ensure they do.” 

“Oh Tiger…” 

“Jimmy, you are everything I ever wanted. I am yours, at your service, do whatever you want to do to me.” 

“T-Tiger….I-I’m getting close….oh oh you’re making me cum.” 

“Close too baby. Just a few more and I’ll make you explode.” 

The only sounds in the room were those of flesh slapping against flesh and sharp intakes of breath. They held on to each other tighter as they moved closer and closer to the crescendo of their passionate encounter, the cover of darkness somehow adding to the glorious mystery of it. Sebastian kept his mouth latched on to Jim’s cheekbone and sucked the skin there while Jim’s lips latched on to that sensitive spot behind Seb’s ear. The same one he had discovered when he had topped his deputy for the first time. “Oh fuck Jim, fuck fuck fuck,” was all Sebastian could say as ecstasy exploded in his veins and all his blood rushed south in a tremendous uncontrollable tidal wave like flow. 

He came and got Jim off at the same exact second, jerking him hard and making him splatter his seed between their moving torsos. Jim let out a screech of his name while Sebastian growled out Jim’s nickname ‘Jim-Bo’ aka Jim Boss, as waves and waves of pleasure swept them away and kept hammering them from all sides till they were thoroughly drained. Three little words nearly spilled out of Sebastian just as a tear had spilled out of his right eye. But he was a tough cookie and he held them back.

The words he swallowed and the tear he wiped off on the pillow. 

“God that was great,” Jim snuggled into him minutes later. 

“Not the time to sleep yet boss.” 

“Noooo….Sebby I am tired, drunk and I just had sex.” 

“You’re Jim Moriarty. You are far tougher than that.” 

“Why do you call out my bluff?” 

“Because I see through them. Now wait, there is a reason I kept the lights off. Thanks for accommodating my request but there was a method to my madness. That method is called ‘hiding the surprise till it’s time for the big reveal’.” 

“Whoa, what’s that now?” 

Sebastian wrapped himself in a sheet and turned the bedside lamps on. Jim squinted against the light and sat up in bed. 

“Some gifts from me boss,” Sebastian handed him the packets, “Wanted you to open them in private.” 

A wicked look came over Jim’s face and he started to open the packages. The first one made him laugh out loud. It was a pair of tiger and a kitten onesies which Sebastian had once spoken about in jest but Jim had shown much eagerness to possess at some point. The second one made Jim look rather surprised because it was a set of poisoned darts that Sebastian had ordered specially from an Indian tribal village. Good for self-defense if one knew how to use them. The poison was lethal and administered instant death. Jim patted them fondly and placed them next to the onesies. 

“Now for the big one,” Sebastian removed the sheet, “Here it is.” 

The big reveal was indeed a big one and even someone like the criminal mastermind hadn’t been expecting this. Jim gasped as he took in the sight of a naked and handsome Sebastian, his smooth and sassy tiger who was always rough around the edges and super sexy at all times (he had never said this aloud but he always found Seb incredibly sexy). On his chest was a small tattoo in Hindi script, next to the small figure of a magpie. It said ‘Jimmy’, as the sniper explained to his bewitched boss. And when Sebastian turned his back, right at the foot of the older tiger tattoo were the freshly tattooed words in calligraphy, ‘If found return to Jim Moriarty - Property of James Moriarty Junior’. 

“Tiger,” Jim for the first time looked at a loss of words. He simply stretched out his hands and Sebastian walked closer, standing next to the bed as the small man went on his knees and touched the freshly acquired tattoos. He ran his fingers over them, as if worshipping them one by one, lingering over the magpie bird. “How did you know,” he asked at last, his eyes swimming with wonder. 

“I just did. You listen a lot to La Gazza Ladra, especially before your heists, so I just knew you somehow like the symbolism this bird brings. The Hindi script is a tribute to my days in the East, about which you have held much interest and curiosity. As for the inscription….” 

“That is the best of all. If found, please return to….like seriously Sebby? You have a sense of humor?” 

“I do my kitten. If only you would care to look.” 

“I do look. See, there is another package you are hiding behind your back.” 

Sebastian sighed and handed it to Jim, “Not hiding. Just wasn’t sure if this was the right moment or not. I met your detective Jim. Your William. He seems to have found out what you are, what we are, and he threatened us in no uncertain words that if we have to cross swords then he will not back off or spare any inch because you and he happened to have some history.” 

Jim didn’t react. He didn’t even respond. He simply opened the simple brown paper package which had been rather clumsily wrapped up and tied with a basic kitchen string. The contents revealed a book that looked ‘not new’ but ‘well maintained’. There was also a box which said ‘A beginner’s guide to Magic Tricks’, again not something new but not worn out or mishandled in any way. 

“I am surprised he didn’t even get you something new,” Sebastian mumbled. 

“He gave him something he considers very valuable Seb,” Jim held the two items in his arms, “This book is a very rare one, not found in the market, which he had been gifted on his twenty first birthday by his grand uncle. He knew I liked it so he let me read it, but he was very specific that I shouldn’t take it anywhere outside the room we shared. He was afraid I’d lose it. This magic kit, he had bought it with his first earnings and he loved showing me simple tricks with them. I remember him saying he would never part with it.” 

Sebastian swallowed. He felt mixed pangs of jealousy, embarrassment and inadequacy. These gifts suddenly shone beside his much prettier, new and expensive ones. 

“Look Jim,” he began, determined not to react even though he was dying to ask the man what Sherlock meant to him, “I did what I did because I wanted you to feel comfortable, secure, assured about me….I mean about my intentions and devotion to you. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a very civilized or morally sound man, I have killed and ordered killings and slept a good night’s sleep later, so none of the things that I am doing right now is related to being ‘nice’ or ‘generous’. It started out of an obligation to your father but I was sucked into this by you. I fell for you and I stayed here because of you and now I hope that you will believe what I just said. I am yours Jim, everyone else is just….everyone else.” 

“I didn’t want to kill him, you know that.” 

“Yes, but he didn’t deserve the scare either.” 

“I was just….” 

“I feel the same way now.” 

Jim looked at him as if he had just asked for the Eiffel Tower upside down. “You what? What did you think I was about to say?” 

Sebastian had made earlier mistakes of second guessing stuff about Jim. Sometimes he had been answered with a laugh, sometimes with a cuss word and once with a gun shoved into his nose. He wasn’t about to make that mistake again so he asked, “I don’t know for sure about you but right now I feel a bit confused about Holmes’ gift to you after the threat he asked me to convey earlier.” 

“I was going to say I was angry earlier whenever you went to meet your friends. I pay you to be beside me 24/7 and if I don’t have friends then neither should you.” 

Way to go Jimmy boy, disguise jealousy and possessiveness by calling out employment terms and anger. Sebastian smirked a little, glad that he had not mentioned the word ‘jealousy’ and upset Jim over that. “So about Holmes’ gift,” he began, “He confuses me.” 

“He is a genius. Stupid and cowardly but a genius.” 

“So?” 

“So that means you will never understand him.” 

That hurt but Sebastian brushed it off. There were many good things that had just happened and he would rather focus on them than that stupid detective with his curly hair and green eyes and holier-than-thou ways. Maybe he could meet his former army mate John and….

The feel of Jim hugging him stopped his thoughts mid-way and Sebastian felt all anger, disappointment and confusion melt away, to be replaced by a tender affection that clawed at his heart. Jim looked small, innocent and vulnerable like this, extremely young and very much in need to be looked after. Just like a little kitten you find on the roadside, cuddly and cute, yet lonely and abandoned. With a long exhale he got into bed and handed Jim some water to drink before they slid under the covers. Jim finished the bottle and sprinkled the last bit of it on Seb, giggling and flopping back against the pillows. His eyes shone with happiness after a long, long time. 

“Twenty-four today?” Sebastian said as he was about to turn out the light. 

“You are that stupid are you,” Jim’s cutting tone was back, “From all that you know about me, do I look like someone who left Uni only a year or two ago?” 

“Oh yeah that too,” Sebastian colored slightly, “I was commenting on how old you look.” 

“Thirty-one today,” Jim answered. 

It had been a good day but as they settled into bed and the room was dark once more, Sebastian acting as the big spoon in bed with his nose buried in Jim’s hairs, neither man could drift off easily. Jim lay awake thinking about Sherlock, about his empire, about his business, about his future and about this strange bond he seemed to have formed with his second in command. Sebastian lay awake wondering if he would ever truly understand Jim and could truly protect him. 

“Seb?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“Do you take me seriously?” 

“If you’re thirty-one when you said all the things you said over the last few days, then yes.”

“Tiger?” 

“Hmm…mmmm?” 

“Don’t fall in love with me.” 

“Too late magpie, I already have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head I always believe Seb is the man Jim needs while Sherlock is the man Jim wants, while John is the man Sherlock has while Jim is the man Sherlock will always chase. Poor confused babies!


	20. Jim's Right Hand Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim starts trusting Sebastian but when Sebastian meets John he learns Jim's been talking to Sherlock as well

From that day Sebastian found his relationship with Jim change into something deeper, something a little less one-sided and his reading into Jim’s character and moods were considerably more than it was in the year before. 

For starters, Jim had finally begun to trust Sebastian and treat him as a lover and house mate than merely an annoyance he had to tolerate at home. At work he began to assign more and more responsibilities to Sebastian and even made him his chief of staff. 

Things were working well for them and the blond sniper enjoyed his new and elevated position in Jim’s eyes. Jim took him shopping, demanded his time and insisted they spend it listening to his favorite music, initiated sex now and then, cuddled into his arms and slept at night and generally listened to Sebastian whenever the sniper gave him some opinion or suggestion. One night he even asked Sebastian if he was too thin and looked more effeminate. A groggy Sebastian replied he liked Jim just the way he was and it seemed to make the criminal happy, happy enough for him to let his guard down and confess that he was in awe of the former army man’s butch physique. 

Sebastian indulged him as much as he could but the new situation had its downsides too. As his workload increased, Sebastian was unable to keep an eye on Jim all the time or accompany him on all his meetings. Jim’s unhinged side had not changed, the only thing that had changed was his cruelty and nonchalance towards Sebastian, so the blonde was quite used to his boss taking on unnecessary risks and getting his arse into danger. Here even his influence failed. No matter how much he begged Jim to be careful, he got only one answer. 

“One life Moran, one life is all you have. You do as much as you want to do, or wait for it to end up in a wooden box.”

Sebastian was also aware that Sherlock and Mycroft, the two Holmes brothers, were now in serious pursuit of Jim. He feared the power the iceman wielded and the brain power and enormous energy the younger Holmes possessed. As a team they were formidable. 

And Jim loved to rattle and needle them. 

Sometimes he would push them a bit too far and chuckle like a madman when the two scrambled around to pick up the pieces caused by the damage. But they retaliated sometimes by taking down one of Jim’s clients or killing one of his aides. It was a dangerous game and just because Jim was a step ahead so far didn’t mean the two brothers wouldn’t catch up and overtake him at some point.

Seb often hoped and prayed he would get a complete understanding of the dynamics between Jim and Sherlock. Past lovers rarely became friends and even if they did, they wouldn’t tolerate the presence of others in their partner’s lives. That meant Sherlock and Jim were not really back together, since Jim spent most of his free time with Sebastian, but there was no doubt in the lieutenant’s mind that the two of them had something going on. 

They were in touch. 

And he got to know about that from none other than John Watson. 

***

“I would have loved to meet you under more fortunate circumstances Moran,” John was brutally honest as he always had been, “But it is what it is. The Moran I remember and the days I remember him from are so vastly different from what they are today. The decorated war hero, an inspiration to every sniper who joined the forces, a man who wouldn’t put a foot wrong is now the right-hand man of Moriarty. On the face of it, he is a successful and wealthy businessman, an inventor and scientist with patents to his name, but the truth is that he is also a criminal mastermind. Working with him makes you one too.” 

He paused and sighed, “Not to mention he and Sherlock have an unhealthy obsession towards each other.” 

Sebastian snorted and took a big swallow of his whiskey. “John you have saved my life and I do owe you one. But let me make one thing very clear to you, everyone is a criminal here. The country is ruled by criminals. Some do it wearing a suit and tie over the phone while others do it with their bare hands. In the name of patriotism I have killed too, as have you, therefore I am not going to drag this discussion down the path of moral values and pristine principles because I would automatically tune them out like the horrid jazz music in this pub. Your Sherlock has killed too, he has also done drugs and gotten into fistfights and he once stole a car. He might be on the side of angels but he isn’t one of them, you will find out.” 

John went on the backfoot, “I didn’t come here to fight colonel.” 

“Me neither captain,” Sebastian pulled his rank instantly. John instantly stood down from their argument. Even if they were not in the army any longer, a captain would never talk down to a colonel. 

The two men stared at each other for the longest possible time before John whispered, “So is this how it’s going to go?” 

“How do you mean?” 

“Their dual relationship.” 

“What?” 

“You don’t know?” 

“Don’t be enigmatic doctor. What is it that you’re hiding up your sleeve? We assured each other this meeting will be completely honorable. Nothing we say in this meeting will be used against our men.” 

“I am not gay and Sherlock is married to his work,” John corrected him, “We are not a couple as the two of you are. As for what you don’t know….here. I took screenshots. They WhatsApp each other all night sometimes. Possibly when I am over at some girlfriend’s house or you are out of town on an assignment.” 

Sebastian looked at the messages and had to pinch himself to believe it. It was like two big bored babies chatting up a storm. 

Howdy hoo – JM

Yawn. Bored – SH

Poor Willy – JM

Cutesy Jim-Jim – SH

I am not cute you baboon – JM

And before you say it, I am not a PLT either – JM

John nudged his drinking partner, “I couldn’t figure out the PLT though. Post and telegraph maybe, but what does L stand for. Philosophical League….naah, what could it be?” 

“Pretty little thing,” Sebastian deadpanned. 

“Oh.” 

Seb went back to reading. 

I saw your video. Motivational speaker to a bunch of your executives in Zurich. Suit pants were too tight, the women were laughing and the men were too dumb to understand you – SH

If you had been there everyone would have laughed – JM

Pray why – SH

It’s like Willy Wonka giving an inspiring speech in a slaughterhouse – JM

Still the sharp-tongued pocket powerhouse with the devilishly sexy smile huh – SH

Are you complaining or complimenting? Please brush your teeth – JM

Complimenting…wait….what do you mean brush my teeth – SH

Three visits to the dentist in three months. Mycroft visits every two week. Family has a history of bad teeth – JM

Oh how considerate - SH

There were entire chats on splitting the atom, analyzing an economic slump, predicting the winner of the world chess tournament, pointers and clues on crimes happening across the world, or just plain leg-pulling and wisecracking each other. There were the odd little chats where Jim seemed to respond in monosyllables and Sherlock kept asking him how he was, which Sebastian assumed were from Jim’s ‘off-days’, days when even he had no idea how to inject some life into the man’s dead, dull, vacant eyes. There was also an argument about a case which the two of them had eventually agreed upon at the end, dubbing the gardener and the private secretary as the co-killers. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Sebastian was aghast. So, all those long hours in the office, Jim found time to do this? Whenever he was away, Jim spent nights chatting up the detective?

“They talk about us too, you know,” John smirked crookedly, “If you buy me another drink I shall tell you.” 

Sebastian raised a brow. 

“I am the tin soldier and you are Rambo.”

The two men look serious for a moment before the funny side of it dawned on them and they burst out laughing. They laughed long and hard before they opened another chat box and began to read through the messages. One thing Sebastian noticed was that none of their messages gave any hint of their earlier relationship. It could have all started only a year or two ago, the conversations were that contemporary and forward-looking. 

“Flirting between two well irrigated brains and razor sharp minds is what I see,” Sebastian said as they finally looked away from John’s phone. 

“Brainy flirting you mean, a sociopath and psychopath dovetailing each other into their ‘secret lives,” John commented, “He is cheating on you, just so you know. Sherlock and I are not seeing each other, as I said he is married to his work and….” 

“Hold on John,” Sebastian raised one of his hands to stop him and quickly took the phone from his hands. After scrolling through several screenshots he came to a conversation that had happened about three months earlier. Jim had written ‘I keep adding to your work, poor you, poor little Willy gets work and more work from me’. Sherlock’s response had been ‘Believe me there is no better partnership than me and my work, in fact I daresay I am married to it’. 

“Great,” John snapped, “So they are also having a platonic romance. While the world is beginning to think this is the greatest showdown between a genius detective and a brilliant mastermind, beneath the layers it’s two freaks being loony romantic bins.” 

“John,” Sebastian said, “I know Jim isn’t cheating on me. He might sleep with others but I am the one he comes home to. Call it whatever, but I am happy with what I got. Like you, even I don’t want this to end in blood and tears so help me God, I need you to tell me more about Sherlock. So I understand him and figure out what the hell is going on there. Sherlock threatens me and Jim one moment and then gives away his precious possessions as gifts to Jim the very next.” 

John looked dismayed, “So that’s where his magic kit has gone to.” 

***

Sebastian ran to answer the door, clad in just a bathrobe and slippers. He had been cooking dinner and preparing the house for Jim’s return from a five-day trip to Mauritius where he had sealed a legit business deal plus assisted covertly in an extortion case and made a few millions from it. He, only he could manage to mix the rough with the smooth and the legal with the illegal in such a way that if he was ever called out for the illegal, he always had an alibi from the legal and legitimate side to testify for him and prove his innocence. His right-hand man was worried about his safety though and it was a big relief for Sebastian when he opened the door to find Jim standing there all hale and hearty and smiling broadly. 

That was rare. So Seb decided to do something rare as well. 

He swooped the man up in his arms and carried him inside, kicking the door shut with his foot. But the moment they passed by the kitchen and Jim caught a sight of them walk past a full-length mirror with an ornate seashell encrusted frame, he shuddered lightly in his sniper’s arms and suddenly squirmed and forced Sebastian to set him back down on his feet. Sebastian did so but a question mark was written all over his face, which Jim pretended not to notice as he sniffed the air and went straight to the dining room. The blonde followed, spirits slightly dampened, but a grin still present on his face because he was so happy to see his Jim back home. 

“Oh Sebby,” Jim stared at the immaculately set table, “You have outdone yourself.” 

“I aim to please my boss,” Sebastian nuzzled Jim’s neck, “Roasted goose, liver parfait, rosemary and mushroom pate, tomato and garbanzo soup and a chocolate pastry for dessert. I hope you have an appetite.” 

“I have an appetite for you first,” Jim winked. 

Sebastian moaned, “Boss no….you fall asleep afterwards.” 

“And if we eat first I will be too full to move.” 

“Don’t worry my kitten, I shall do the work for both of us.” 

“Nope, no way, from now on I will chill while you hit the work treadmill.” 

Sebastian howled with laughter, “Is that so? Well, my darling Jimmy, isn’t that what we have been doing for the past year and half?” 

Jim had the decency to blush. “Um…slip of tongue, I mean I work while you relax, but yeah I get what you’re saying. Let’s eat first and fuck later.” 

***

Jim’s eyed widened a bit with every thrust that hit his prostate dead on. He was gasping and writhing on the mattress, sandwiched between it and Sebastian’s much larger and rock hard body, his slender legs and slim arms wrapped around the sniper’s bottom and shoulders. The thick cock drilling him pushed deeper and deeper inside till he felt as if it was hitting the back of his throat. It was a heady, sexy, erotic moment to be so much at someone’s mercy that you felt like crawling inside their skin and disappearing within them in some way. Jim had never felt this before, not with anyone else, not even Sherlock. 

Sebastian grunted with every thrust and looked up now and then from the hollow of Jim’s long throat to take a peek into the beautiful face and those deep, dark eyes. “You okay,” he asked for the third time. Jim was awfully quiet and submissive that night. 

“Ye-aaah,” Jim managed to moan out. Sebastian went back to working him over thoroughly, pushing in and pulling out, setting a steady yet searing pace which left both of them breathless with the need to cum. Jim wouldn’t last too long and neither would he, not when they had gone without it for five whole days. He felt the smaller man dig his nails into his back and shoulders and the pain that shot through him only intensified his arousal. He sucked a bruise into Jim’s neck as he kept fucking him till he could feel the release that threatened him from a distance come shooting closer. 

“Jim….gonna cum.” 

“I’m there….oh fuck yes….” 

“JIMMYYYY!” 

“Tigerrrrr!” 

Their orgasm happened together, same second and same fraction of a second, matching shudders and spasms running through their bodies as semen shot out of their swollen members. Sebastian filled Jim while Jim milked himself all over his own hand and Sebastian’s flat abs and narrow hips. It took a long time for Jim to calm down. He said ‘okay that was just….great’ several times as he attempted to catch his breath and clear his vision that had gone totally blurry. He lay there, spent and inert, like a little lamb at the colonel’s mercy, eyes blinking sluggishly. 

But Seb knew the truth was much further than that. This man, despite his diminutive stature, had more power in his little finger than several Sebastians put together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hard times coming up.....but then what's the surprise about that!


	21. Maya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim disappears and a stranger appears as Sebastian mopes in a bar

“Wake up Sebby.” 

Sebastian blinked hard and looked, his boss’s face swimming into his view. It was still dark outside so it definitely wasn’t time to get up yet. Unless Jim wanted some work done which he had remembered suddenly (Jim being Jim as usual, sudden things) or the man wanted another round of sex. In the second case he wouldn’t have woken Sebastian up this way, he much rather preferred to wake the man by already initiating intimacy with him. 

“What is it boss?” He asked but Jim shushed him by placing a finger on his mouth. Then he got out of bed and jinked his fingers in a ‘come with me, follow me’ pose and started to walk, butt naked, out of the room. Sebastian wordlessly followed, grabbing his pistol which he always kept within reach, lest it was something that involved having to save Jim’s life. But it seemed all peaceful, quiet and dark in their house and nothing untoward happened till Jim had walked all the way to the store room next to the kitchen, which had a direct remote controlled door that opened out into the adjoining garage. 

Jim pushed the button to open it and as it rolled up, he pushed another one to flood the whole area with lights. 

Sebastian squinted and blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness, when his mouth fell open in extreme surprise. 

A Ferrari 458 Italia! 

The one that cost a quarter of a million euros. Not that money was a problem for Jim but then still, this was freaking expensive. From the way Jim showed it to him with an expansive gesture told him that it was something he intended to gift to the sniper. 

Sebastian stared at it in awe as it sat amidst Jim’s limousine, Bentley, Porsche Spyder and Cadillac Escalade SUV. Deep yellow, stylish, a mean machine that many men dreamt of clicking a photograph with and only a handful would ever dream of even taking out for a test drive. 

Jim had bought it for him. 

“Like what you see?” Jim’s voice was different. Not the usual cock-sure and arrogant voice, the sing song or cruel tone, or even his uppity sniping style. It was flat, slightly undulating, a tad bit hesitant even. Jim sounded a little…..insecure. 

“This is gorgeous, she is awesome and she is sexy. But why did you suddenly….” 

“Are you questioning my generosity?” 

The dark commanding tone was back. 

“No,” Sebastian quickly said, “Just trying to figure out what I have done to deserve this gesture tonight?” 

Jim shrugged, “Let me be a judge of that. I have something else also. Take a look in the car, backseat.” 

Still confused and by now completely at ease with their nude state, Sebastian jumped down the three steps to the garage and peered into the car. As Jim had stated, on the backseat lay three late model guns, expensive, lethal and beautifully crafted. It was a gun lover’s dream come true. A rifle, a handgun and a small pistol. All of them had ‘Tiger’ inscribed on their barrels and the pistol had a silver grip with an leaf like design that suggested a bespoke model. Sebastian opened the car door in a daze and sat behind the wheel, holding the guns first and the wheel later in sheer amazement and thrill. Jim had never given him gifts in the nineteen-month association and he was completely bewildered by this sudden change of attitude.

“Go on, play with it,” Jim encouraged, “Just don’t go driving out like this. Reminder, you are naked and nobody else but me gets to see you this way.” 

Then Jim clicked a photograph of him. 

“Jimmy,” Sebastian complained. 

“You click random pics of me in the shower and tub and even in the pool,” Jim snickered. 

“Okay, we are even.” 

“Hmmm, did you just say that?” 

“Actually no Jim-JIm. we can never be even. You will always be one step ahead of me.” 

“Yes, never forget your place Bastian.” 

Jim had started giving him more nicknames. Sometimes his competitive side extended to the whole nick-name giving process as well. When Sebastian called him Jim he was called Seb, if he called him Jimmy he was called Sebby, if he called him kitten Jim retorted with Tiger and when Seb addressed him as Jimbo or Jim-Jim he was called Bastian or Basher. Not that Sebastian minded. Anything from Jim, whether it was a nickname, a praise, a gift or even an abuse or injury was welcome. 

He tinkered with the car’s controls and suddenly the date flashed in front of his eyes. It was his birthday. So that was what this was all about. 

“Sir,” he turned around and looked at Jim who was observing him keenly, “These are my birthday gifts?” 

Jim looked vaguely uncomfortable. He didn’t answer. 

“I never would have pegged you as a sentimental one,” Sebastian flashed him a grateful and bright smile. 

Something shifted in that dark gaze and it grew darker, closed up completely, and Jim’s overall expression solidified into something inscrutable. From the indulgent lover he became a hard hearted employer again and he looked at Sebastian contemptuously. He yawned in an exaggerated manner and snapped, “Stop playing with your gifts like an impoverished and needy child. It’s 4 am, let’s get back in bed now.” 

Puzzled by the change in tone, the shift in the man’s mood and his sudden reaction, Sebastian decided it was best to do what Jim had asked him to do. So he got out of the car, picked up his guns and followed Jim back into the house. Jim went straight to bed while Sebastian put the guns away, took a quick trip to the bathroom and got back into bed. His lover lay on the other side of the bed, facing away from him, not moving or reacting to his presence at all. Had Sebastian not known the man really well by now he would have thought Jim had drifted off but his habituated eyes told him that Jim was awake and pretending to be in slumber. 

Jim did that only when he didn’t want Sebastian around. 

God, what had he done now? 

With an audible sigh Sebastian reached out and stroked Jim’s hairs, feeling the man tense up and then relax slowly. Good, at least he had not been bitten at. 

“Jimmy?” 

No answer. 

“I love the gifts Jimmy. Thanks again.” 

No answer. 

Sebastian resigned himself to his fate and kept stroking his lover’s hairs till Jim finally drifted off for real. The sniper turned out the lights after he had checked the man’s breathing and the random twitches in his fingers and confirmed that this time the sleep was for real. No use poking at the mastermind now, it would only worsen his mood and Seb would earn a new mark on his body. Later Jim would feel sorry and get even grumpier over it. It would ruin their entire day. 

So he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come. Jim’s mood would pass. It always passed after a few hours or after a day. 

***

The blond man woke up to an empty bed. Sheets were cold. Jim had been up for a while. 

Out of sheer habit Sebastian quickly took a piss, brushed, dressed in shorts and T shirt and sauntered to the kitchen to start brewing tea. Jim was a night owl and a later sleeper but also a notoriously late rise. However, he sometimes woke up earlier than Sebastian whenever he had some early morning conference call to attend. 

The lieutenant prepared breakfast quickly, used to doing this swiftly in the kitchen in the mornings. Jim was a stickler for punctuality while Sebastian was a stickler for breakfast. A fortunate compromise was to whip up something speedily so they could eat a bite before they started their day and Jim would still get to his meeting on time. Sebastian whistled, smiled and hummed to himself as he poured the tea, the tea bag steeped till the liquid was just the strength Jim liked, one cube of sugar and a little milk added, piping hot. He also slid two toasts, slightly burned, on to a plate, next to an easy over egg and a sweet flakey pastry Jim preferred. 

He checked the home office first but nobody was there. Thinking Jim might be in the backyard he checked there, no nobody there either. Next he checked the sitting room, dining room, home theater room, gym, even the store room and the guest bathroom downstairs. No signs of Jim in any of the places. “Jimmy,” he called out impatiently, setting the tray down on the kitchen island so he could move faster around the house, “Where are you hiding now? Your tea is getting cold and soon your breakfast will be of no better use than gracing the bottom of the bin so come out please.” 

No answer. 

A sudden thought struck him and he rushed into the home office. His suspicions were confirmed the moment he looked at the array of gadgets and devices on his boss/lover’s messy desk. There were five laptops and two desktops with extra wide monitors kept there and this morning two of those laptops, the ones Jim usually traveled with, were missing. He leapt upstairs and checked the bedroom, the two designer luggage bags he had come home with the night before were also gone. 

Jim had left the house and possibly the city, just twelve or thirteen hours after returning to Mauritius. 

Feeling rather disappointed and gutted, he picked up the phone and checked with everyone. By now he had more info on Jim than any of them did so they were fairly taken aback by his questions on Jim’s whereabouts. 

“He must have decided to do a little hiding,” Albert said, “He has done this before so don’t worry.” 

No, this is different. Today is my birthday and something tells me he had planned to stay. Then I opened my big fat mouth and he got offended and now he’s gone. 

“If you find out where he is do let me know,” Sebastian said, biting back the angst he felt right now. 

He called Mary next and she said Jim hadn’t taken any of his personal jets or the chopper with him. The pilots had not been summoned either. So he must have flown commercial. That meant he couldn’t be tracked because Jim had so many passports that he might have used any identity and slipped out of the country. Sebastian dumped the breakfast into the bin and tossed the tea away in the sink, sitting down on a kitchen chair with a huge sulk on his face. Which man give him generous gifts in the middle of the night and then take off early morning without as much as a word? 

A voice in his head told ‘Jim would’. 

***

A month later Sebastian was nearly pulling his hairs out in frustration. Jim was still in hiding and running his empire from an undisclosed location. He was a master at acquiring identities and slithering in and out of countries and cities and nobody, not even his closest aides had the capability to track him down if he really wanted to stay away and invisible. Sebastian knew he could find at least one way to contact Jim, through one of the man’s very own inventions, a device that sent out signals in coded messages and received response in a similar fashion, but he refrained from using that. That thing was meant to be a one-way communication device, to be used by Jim if he wanted extraction from a spot or some help, not for Sebastian to find out where he was. 

But with each passing day his resolve was weakening. He missed Jim terribly. 

When six weeks had passed and still no news of the crime boss, Sebastian began to grow weary, disoriented and frustrated. Jim was still working and neither his companies nor his web felt his absence. It was felt only by Sebastian. His employees still received official mailers from him, his senior management got regular emails from him, the Board members got their reports on time and the clients whom his criminal web supported got their assignments completed to perfection and on time. Seb himself got his orders on a regular basis on a mobile app, coded to the point that nobody in the world could understand it unless the key to the code was loaded on their mobile. Sebastian did the jobs perfectly but day by day his motivation levels were dipping. 

The way Jim had left was rather mysterious. Seb spent sleepless nights wondering what he might have done or said wrong to cause the behavior that Jim had displayed hours before his disappearance. He found answers forming in his head but they gave him no respite from his worries. 

He wanted Jim back. He wanted to talk to him, hold him, love him, tell him he was sorry….Even if he had nothing to be sorry about. How pathetic was that!

Then one day a photograph was circulated amongst the inner circle members by Irene and in that she was with Jim, the two of them in some snowy undisclosed location, wearing matching fur coats and caps and smiling at the camera as someone else had clicked the shot. It made Sebastian’s blood boil and jealousy gnaw at his bones as he struggled to keep himself under control. He was a dangerous man in his own right and if he went unhinged, half of London would get impacted. But he found that he was fresh out of self-control as he began to drink every evening again. 

Two months into Jim’s disappearance Sebastian went to a shady but large pub in eastern London and ordered for some Scotch. He had already been drinking beer all day and after three shots he began to feel a happy buzz in his veins. 

He thought about Jim and things slowly began to get clearer and clearer in his head. Mary had been right, James Senior had been right, Jim’s greatest enemy resided in his own head and if anyone had to draw him out of there they had to get into his head space and unravel the millions of mysteries in there, turn those innumerable cogs in a manner that put the disturbed genius at ease with himself, at peace with his own feelings. He wanted to do that but Jim had to be fucking present there for him to take those actions. “When will you be back Jim,” he whispered to himself as he ordered another shot, “I am beginning to tear myself apart now, let go Jim, whatever happened, we can fix it. Just come back please.” 

“Talking to yourself?” 

His head jerked in the direction the voice had come from. He hadn’t even noticed this woman who seemed to have taken a seat next to him at the bar some time ago. She was already half way through her glass of wine. 

“Sebastian,” he said roughly, not answering her question. 

“Maya,” she replied. 

“The lady’s drinks are on me,” Sebastian let his chivalrous side come out. The woman was classy and attractive, dressed in expensive clothes which were not slutty or showy, simply sexy without being over the top. She had long and lustrous platinum blond hair. 

“Thanks, that’s a true gentleman,” she replied, “I am an artist.” 

“Author, businessman, consultant,” Sebastian stopped at that. No use freaking her out saying he was a sniper, a hitman, a killer. 

“Lonely is it?” 

“How can you tell?” 

“I have seen many before. I am not a whore though. So don’t get me wrong.” 

“I know which one is a whore the moment I see them, even before they open their mouths.” 

“She left you?” 

“He did. Not sure if he will be back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, who is this woman? 
> 
> Jim can't stand being called emotional or sentimental as those are weaknesses in his eyes. His escapism surfaced the moment Seb called him 'sentimental'.


	22. Sebastian takes charge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colonel Moran corners his beloved boss and makes him confess

She didn’t seem daunted by his admission that he was into men. Nor did she seemed to judge him for what he was.

 

Nonetheless, Sebastian avoided eye contact with her and continued to drink in silence. He would have normally wished for her to go away, to save him from being rude and asking her to back off, but this person seemed like a real lady and he couldn’t deny he was enjoying the company of someone whom he could talk to.

 

She understood and didn’t pester him for a conversation, letting silence take over for some time. After a while she spoke and her words sounded wise and soothing. “We have all been there, haven’t we? Loving someone who won’t love us back and suddenly being abandoned and forgotten as they move on, as if we never mattered to them at all. Feels terrible, some days you wish to hide from the world and other days you want to ruin it. But over a period of times and several heartbreaks later, I have come to the conclusion that I deserve to be happy. Nobody, neither my family or friends nor my ex-lovers can take that away from me. If something gives me joy, if I need something, then I will go for it. I don’t call it selfishness. I call it self-preservation.”

 

“That’s why I am out drinking tonight,” Sebastian answered.

 

“I have a room in the hotel across the street,” she said softly, “This place is too noisy.”

 

“Look Maya, I am not into….”

 

“Don’t worry, I will use a _strap-on_.”

 

“Huhhhh!”

 

She burst out laughing and affectionately squeezed his arm, “Just kidding man. Don’t look so frightened. You are possibly someone who can frighten others instead.”

 

“Oh I sure do that too. But I have never willingly threatened or hurt women. There is a limit where even I draw the line.”

 

That was as true as it could get. Although he had assassinated some women in his capacity as a sniper, he had always made a serious attempt to be courteous and kind to women he had met and interacted with. He had thrashed many a man but never raised his hands on children or the fairer sex, never forced himself on a woman and always tried to treat a lady as a lady. He was a gentleman that way.

 

“That’s why I suggested that we can talk in my room and I don’t feel threatened with you around,” Maya replied with an assuring smile.

 

_It’s just a chat. She looks like a respectable woman. The hotel is just down the street. Nothing would go wrong._

 

“Sure thing,” he said, “Let’s go then.”

 

He placed enough money on the counter to pay for both of them and also leave a tip for the bartender. As they left, Sebastian allowing the lady to walk ahead, he noticed that _the bartender was trying to say something with his eyes_. Had it not been for unsteady feet and a slight buzz in his head, Sebastian might have thought a bit more about that. But for now he walked on, throwing caution to the winds.

 

***

 

The four-star hotel had decently sized and comfortable rooms. Maya had chosen the most expensive room in the hotel hence it was quite luxurious, with a king-size bed covered by a silk duvet, plenty of wood and glass paneling all round, a well-stocked mini bar and two super-comfy large Lawson chairs next to the casement windows. Sebastian asked for a bottle of water, took the liberty of using the restroom and then settled down on one of those chairs. He refused beer and wine and took a can of coca cola instead, not wishing to be too drunk to drive back. Damn, he shouldn’t have brought the car.

 

She drank not more than a glass of wine and stuck to juice afterwards. She was a well-behaved lady who knew when to hold herself back. She was also an excellent talker and knew a lot of things about the military.

 

They talked about this and that and while Maya maintained her physical distance from him, sticking to the bed and sitting on it, the conversation slowly turned from Sebastian and work and world affairs to more personal things. At one point, maybe an hour and half later, the lady made a comment that put Sebastian on the spot. In a completely sincere tone Maya suddenly asked, “I know you aren’t into women now but you have been with them in the past haven’t you? In that case, just as a hypothesis, would you and I have stood a chance as a couple? I mean if you hadn’t met the gentleman you love, could you and I have been in a relationship?”

 

“Maya,” Sebastian sat up self-consciously, “I love someone. He is a beautiful man, very much the owner of my heart and thoughts. Whether or not he returns to me, I will wait for him. I can’t let him down”

 

“The question is, what if he doesn’t?”

 

“Then I’ll be alone. At least for some years I can’t even look at another man, forget a lady.”

 

“But you will move on someday, won’t you?”

 

“From this man, _probably never_.”

 

“But Sebastian, you agreed that we need to look after ourselves, we have the right to be happy. Even if we do find some solace in each other’s arms tonight, who will know? You man will never find out and I am single. This night doesn’t have to end this way.”

 

Sebastian got up and put his shoes back on “It should end the way it’s about to end now ma’am. I will drive back home and you should go to bed. It’s nearly eleven. As for my man, I am sure he will find out. Even if nobody tells him, my guilty face will reveal it all. I can’t hide anything from him, I don’t even wish to do that.”

 

“You are such an awesome person Moran.”

 

Sebastian noticed the change in tone and looked up with a start. She was smiling at him broadly and before he could ask her what on earth was going on, the door opened and in walked Jim Moriarty! Yes, James Isaac Moriarty Junior, the one and only man who held Sebastian’s heart in the palm of his hands, the one who had tortured him for several weeks by being absent and elusive. Jim’s face was neutral, as if he had just finished a successful experiment and knew the answer already. Instantly Sebastian saw this whole this for what it was, a set-up by Jim, involving one of his aides whom Seb knew nothing about, an elaborate plot to test his loyalty to his boss and lover.

 

“Another test,” he muttered.

 

“Maya thanks,” Jim said flatly.

 

“Anytime Mr. Moriarty. Nice meeting you Sebastian.”

 

“Same here Maya.”

 

The moment she had left, Jim closed the door and bolted it, pushing the button to flick the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on.

 

“So Seeebbyyyy,” he sang, “Passed with flying col…..uhhhh.”

 

Sebastian had crossed the distance between them in three large strides and lifted Jim clean in the air. But instead of a kiss, a hug or the natural initiation of sex after a long separation, he simply placed Jim on the bed and sat down next to him, looking sternly into that face.

 

_Boy was he pretty!_

 

“Ohhhh, the grown up baddie Sebby, I am so scared I am trembling,” Jim mocked him.

 

But tonight, Sebastian was not going to tolerate any more nonsense from this man. There would be no sex and groping, no games and riddles, no yelling and cursing. They would talk like two grown men that they were and Jim would have to listen to him. The moment he had seen Jim and this whole thing had come up as a hoax, he had immediately made up his mind to have this meaningful conversation with his boss. God knows how long overdue this chat was!

 

“Please be yourself Jim, no need to act like one of your various made-up characters,” Sebastian spoke in his deep baritone, his sense of purpose and determination adding a layer of additional depth to it, “We have been together long enough to know when not to push each other’s buttons so you probably know by now that I am not going to play along. We need to talk and you will bloody well talk to me and listen to me as well, for a change.”

 

Jim went from playful to dangerously dark. “Or else what?” He let the words out through teeth that wee gnashing together.

 

“Or else I will really leave,” Sebastian said calmly, holding Jim’s gaze and noting with satisfaction that there was a tiny bit of worry in those lash fringed eyes, “I will leave and not in the way you leave, when you go away without a word and come back again just as suddenly, testing the patience and feelings of those who truly care for you. If I leave I will be gone forever and no amount of coaxing and threatening will bring me back. You know by now how determined I could be when I set out to do something so don’t make me make up my mind on leaving you and ending this. If this ends then it stays that way, nothing you say or do will bring me back here.”

 

Jim opened his mouth and closed it again. Then he turned away defiantly and spoke in his trademark harsh tone, the one he used when he knew that he does not exactly have the upper hand in a situation. “Fine, just don’t be daft and boring and keep talking too long.”

 

Sebastian didn’t mind the tone or the choice of words. He focused on the only thing he was trying to achieve here, gaining Jim’s trust and getting him to trust Sebastian too.

 

“I might not be your kind of genius but I have a gift of insight, one that helps me understand people well,” Sebastian began and earned a snort from Jim for that, “Want me to quote a few examples?”

 

Jim didn’t answer so he went on, “You saw me break if off with Zachary and tried to seduce me with some ‘half-dressed’ and ‘naked’ situations, just to see if I start something with you on a rebound. You watched porn right next to me on that flight back from Hong Kong because you wanted to understand if I am just a horny bastard or someone that cares for your wellbeing. Later, you went to Sherlock’s house just so you can test me again, to see if I can find you there. To see if I care enough to visit his house if need be.”

 

Jim looked shrunk all of a sudden, as if he was being stripped to the bone.

 

Sebastian softened his tone, “You let Irene post that pic of the two of you together and then sent Maya to me, or whatever her name is….”

 

“Miranda.”

 

“Okay all right, Miranda it is. You wanted to see if I am jealous and would get back at you by having sex with this lady. For the records, I don’t think Irene and you had sex and there was no way I was going to plug a bitch to get back at you. You have to give me a bit more credit than that Jimmy.”

 

“Hmmfff.”

 

“That day, the reason your mood suddenly changed and you took off like the Devil was on your tail was because….I had mentioned, truthfully so, that you had bought me birthday presents. You suddenly felt compromised, you thought you were becoming sentimental and started to doubt yourself. Which was why you had to put that distance between us, just so you can get your bearings back. Nonetheless, you missed me just as much as I missed you so….”

 

“Rubbish. I didn’t have any time to miss you, you moron.”

 

“That would be Moran,” Sebastian laughed and pulled Jim closer, taking his chances here even though he knew Jim could lapse into hysteria, “Yes I agree with you that I have been a little slow. I didn’t evaluate your side of things because I was too busy working and falling in love with you. Jim, emotions don’t hurt till you let them out of control. Sentiments are not bad if you don’t lose your practical side. And admitting to your feelings for someone doesn’t have to be this hard. If you had no feelings for me, you wouldn’t have sent Maya….Miranda to test my loyalty towards you. This isn’t a professional thing, like that staged abduction was, this is about you and me. Which means you have given it away, you do think there IS a ‘you and me’.”

 

Jim looked at him for the first time and leaned into his embrace. “In our kind of profession, remember, sentiments can kill you. People have died trying to save their daughters and sons. People have been compromised because their spouse or partner had been kidnapped and used by rivals. My dad never believed in deep feelings and I wish, I just wish he had acted on that and not married my mother. I…I don’t want to be like him that way….”

 

Sebastian pulled him on his lap and noticed how small Jim looked. He had lost weight. He hadn’t been eating or sleeping well. There were dark circles under his sunken, haunted eyes.

 

“You blame him for the deaths of your mum and sis don’t ya?”

 

“Yes. Had it not been for my good luck, I could have been in that car too.”

 

“Then why did you choose your dad’s profession?”

 

“Because I….” Jim stopped, looking aghast at himself that he didn’t have an answer to that.

 

“There are many men who lose their families tragically,” Sebastian kissed the top of the dark head, “Not necessarily criminals. As for your dad, he had feelings. Why do you think he never forgot my dad? Why did he always keep an eye on me? Why do you suppose he asked me to look after you? Yes he didn’t express himself well but he still managed to have a few loyal associates who still swear by him. In his own way, he was a better man than the one in your memories.”

 

Jim swallowed, “You think?”

 

“I know.”

 

“Could you be a little less perfect, a little less stable and a little bit full of mistakes,” Jim said bitterly, “So I don’t constantly feel I am letting my father down because you are so much more like the son he always wanted to see in me.”

 

“All I know is that you are the only son he had and a son he truly loved.”

 

Jim didn’t reply for the longest time and Sebastian didn’t pester him for an answer. They just sat there in companionable silence, cloistered together, Jim’s cheek against Sebastian’s collarbone and his small form wrapped over the larger man’s frame. Sebastian rested against the headboard and held Jim in his arms, resting his head against the brunette’s soft hairs, holding his smaller hands in his own, much larger ones. The occasional hiss from the air-conditioning duct and the soft sounds of their breathing were all that could be heard in the large room. Sebastian could also hear Jim’s stomach make soft growling sounds and shook his head in disbelief. _This man just forgot to eat!_

 

“ _You_ will leave me too,” Jim said out of the blue, shattering the silence.

 

“What? Why would I do that?”

 

“Like mum, my sister, my father, Sherlock, _everyone_.”

 

“Your father didn’t leave you. He died of old age. He was a distant dad but he was also busy with his work. How much time would you have for a child Jim? As for your mum and sis, do you think they wanted to leave you? As for Sherlock, I know for a fact he still loves you.”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“Does it not?”

 

“He wanted everything his way. I had no choice but to walk away. He made me feel like an ass for that when it was he who cleverly made me walk away.”

 

“Maybe he was not wrong in doing that. He gave you the power of choice and became the bad guy, taking the blame on himself. I don’t like him much, for obvious reasons, but he is not a bad man. Rather, he is good, kind and a little peculiar.”

 

Jim looked up at Seb and for the first time, smiled. Sebastian felt like a knife had been turned in his heart. To see that tantalizing smile and not have unlimited access to it, that was sheer and unprecedented deprivation. “You described him well Sebby,” Jim yawned.

 

“As for us, give you and me a chance?”

 

“I will consider it. Now call room service and order dinner and if the say we are too late for it, just tell them ‘shoes and bags’ and they will do just as they are told.”

 

Sebastian chuckled and proceeded to do just that, holding Jim in his arms all the while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - Mycroft Holmes makes an entrance to add to Mormor troubles!


	23. Mycroft's Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft Holmes wants to bait Moriarty using Sherlock as 'merchandize'

Sebastian was walking down a street, holding bags of shopping in both hands. Not many knew that Jim Moriarty was a compulsive shopper and the sign of a ‘sale’ or ‘new arrivals’ or ‘Fall-Winter Collections’ made him salivate and make a beeline for the store right away. 

That day had not been an exception. While being driven across the city by Jacob, with Sebastian seated next to him, the criminal had spotted some stores with lucrative signs on them and nearly jumped out of the car to make a grab for things right away. 

Six hours of nonstop shopping later, Jim had announced he was tired and started displaying all the crankiness he usually showed when he was exhausted. So Sebastian had sent him home with Jacob and stayed back to collect those items which had been given for express-tailoring or re-styling or size-adjustments. Now he had a grand total of fourteen shopping bags and was carrying them with superhuman effort, trying not to think about how awkward he looked or how numb his fingers were. There were shoes, dinner jackets, overcoats, shirts, even onesies in those bags and Jim had just texted him that he had taken a nap and couldn’t ‘wait to see how the rest of this shopping’ looked like. Okay, so Sebastian had to hurry. 

It was no wonder therefore when three suited, booted men wearing thick sunglasses, stood in his way just as he was about to hail a cab. 

“Out of my way or I might have to get rough,” he growled, irritated but not the least bit intimidated. He was rather, more worried about getting late and Jim throwing a tantrum about it. While Jim had become a much calmer and relaxed man since the hotel incident with Miranda, he was still a wicked, impatient, temperamental young man who could turn from sweet and calm to dangerous and aggressive in a grand total of six seconds. 

“You are going nowhere colonel,” one of them answered, “Our boss wants to see you.” 

Sebastian could hold his nerves even under pressure or danger. He didn’t even blink as he replied, “I don’t think you belong to the world we operate in. So who exactly is your boss?”

“We are not authorized to talk about that or reveal details.”

“Then I decline the invitation.” 

“This was not a invitation but an order.” 

“And why exactly would I take order from nobodies like you?” 

The sound of a car door sliding open made him turn his head to the right where a large back custom designed van with darkened windows stood silently and a little menacingly. The man who had opened the door leaned backwards, revealing another man in his early forties. For a moment, Sebastian felt a mild flutter in his heart because this man was so unlike all other men he had met, on his own or through Jim. He was tall, possibly only an inch or two shorter than Seb himself, with typical Englishman’s features, a slightly wide forehead and an expression that could only be described as cold, dangerous and reptilian. Even though he smiled at Sebastian, as if trying to put the man at ease, he managed to look even more malevolent than before. He was dressed in a three piece expensive suit and his watch was as expensive as the ones Jim wore. 

“Mycroft Holmes,” the man said simply. 

Oh so this was Harvey Mycroft Theo Holmes. The older brother of Sherlock and the head of MI5 and MI6. Also known as the ‘Iceman’, ‘Titan’ or the ‘Stealth Bomber’, he was well known in the circles of corporate power and criminal underworld because he was just as mighty, sneaky, evil and dangerous as any old fashioned villain. But he was a polished man, someone who did all kinds of wrong for the right reasons and always managed to keep his hands clean. Rich, well connected and as intelligent as the best in business, he was also popularly referred to as ‘The British Government’ because of the influence he wielded all around. Nobody wanted to be on his radar or get into his bad books. They said he was even sharper than Sherlock but didn’t like mucking around or risking his neck, hence he often used his baby brother to get the job done. 

In return, he was overbearingly protective of the famous detective and wasn’t averse to a little nepotism now and then to promote and preserve his brother’s interests. 

In short, Sebastian knew as soon as he heard the name ‘Mycroft’ that he had to handle the situation tactfully and not mess with this man.

“Sebastian Moran,” he responded. 

“Gentlemen,” Mycroft raised his brows, “Please don’t be rude. Unburden the colonel and take this shopping bags from him so he can climb in here with me. I hope you have no objections to that Colonel Moran.” 

“Call me Sebastian,” Sebastian said as his hands were free once more, “I hope these bags and the items inside would be kept as carefully and safely as I would keep them.” 

“Absolutely,” Mycroft assured. His eyes were sharp, scrutinizing Seb from top to toe. There was something about those light brownish-greenish eyes which reminded the former soldier about a sea-monster he had read about as a child. He almost imagined a forked tongue emerging from Mycroft’s mouth any moment, followed by a long hiss of satisfaction, as the lieutenant of the Moriarty empire finally did as he was asked to do. 

***

“There must be a reason why you called me here,” Sebastian said as he was handed his beer and Mycroft nursed a glass of expensive whiskey. 

“Yes there is and I wanted our first conversation to happen in a civil manner,” Mycroft replied in his flat, almost coldblooded tone, “Hence this venue of choice.” 

It was a luxury yacht (which Sebastian later learned was a decoy owned by the MI5 to lure suspects on for vacation and meetings, so they could be compromised later) with three levels, a grand deck, a swimming pool, sixteen rooms (including two princess suites and a presidential suite), quarters for the crew, captain and mate, gym, billiards room, bar, a karaoke room with a dance floor, a large dining room and a lot more. But it seemed like a sinister arrangement as the place was teeming with men similar to the ones who had blocked his way before. 

This place was under full surveillance and Mycroft had a plan. 

“You see Sebastian, I am a busy man and when I make such elaborate plans I expect my time to be well spent,” Mycroft began as they both sipped their drinks, “So I will get straight to the point with you. I feel you should have stayed away from James Moriarty Senior when he had asked you to join forces with his offspring about two years ago. If I were you, I would have politely refused and left the scene while I was still ahead. But I think, even now you have a chance to stay ahead and leave while you’re still on dry ground. The man you work for and work with, little Jimmy, is someone who can’t be allowed to go on. He is a mastermind mad hatter, someone even other crime lords fear, and given half a chance they would turn him in if I ask them to.” 

“You said you value your time,” Sebastian shrugged, “I don’t see how you can do that by being so vague.” 

Mycroft merely raised one eyebrow at that statement but his expression didn’t change even a little bit. “I was hoping that an intelligent man like you wouldn’t need to be explained something in any more words than what I just used.” 

“I don’t like assumptions to be given the name of intelligence.”

“Very well then. I do know that the legit work that James Junior does is only one third of his true profession. He is a Napoleon of Crime, a Hitler of the underworld, a villain who is not just a threat to the society but entire nations. His web extends far and wide and he is the number one enemy to many governments and intelligence services, not to mention the criminal world where previous masterminds have been either wiped off the slate or sidelined so viciously that they can’t even stand on their feet.” 

He paused. Sebastian listened, trying to connect the dots. So Mycroft knew. No surprises here as he was a true and worthy opponent and adversary, even Jim had said that. Mycroft had called him, which meant that the man needed his help in some way. He would most definitely have a temptation to toss his way. 

“Such men don’t survive long Sebastian.” 

“His father did.” 

“That was another era. Things are different now. Not to mention that James Senior was a most rational man and knew where he should withdraw his stakes or whose palms to grease. This kid doesn’t seem to know his limits. He had one of our Prime Ministerial candidates for next year’s elections killed, assassinated the president of another nation with close ties to Britain and blackmailed the Prince of Wales. He doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries and feels free to commit unlimited crime.” 

“I am hearing of ‘limited crime’ for the first time.” 

Mycroft looked a bit impatient for the first time. “I credit you with a little more tact than that. While your boss is a genius, you are not a stooge of his. We have observed you for a long time and come to the conclusion that you are an extremely useful man and a man for all reasons and reasons. Also, you seem to have achieved the impossible. You have managed to get through to little Jimmy where all else have failed. So, what I have for you, is a proposal. Jim is too big a genius to be disposed off or put down. He might be helpful for many a government, he can predict natural calamities, he is capable of building antidotes to lethal chemical concoctions, he can even disarm nuclear weapons or contribute to a project to reach Mars. Such a brilliant man needs to be useful to this world, not a destroyer.” 

Sebastian frowned for a moment, “Is this going the way I think it is.” 

“I would say, yes.” 

“So what’s in it for Jim, or me?” 

“Jim gets a safer life, one where he can actually grow old and age gracefully rather than go down in flames even before he is forty. He retains his legit wealth, he works for us, he gets to be famous instead of courting infamy and hatred, he gets unlimited funds and freedom for his experiments and he gets to keep his closest aides safe. All records wiped clean, all charges withdrawn. As for you, you get your share of the wealth left by Moriarty senior for you, plus all the support you need to start a normal life that’s just like the one you led till about a couple of years ago.” 

“That sounds unbelievable,” Sebastian leaned forward in a gesture of ‘I am all ears’, “What else?” 

“Jimmy gets his Sherlock back.” 

That was the moment when Sebastian felt a short fuse in his brain. This selfish, hypocritical, clueless moron, boasting he knows everything! Terrible. Clearly he had no idea about Jim and Seb’s relationship. Unconventional as it was, it was still there. 

But he decided against revealing that bit because it would expose a mammoth weakness in a man’s previously impenetrable armor.

“What makes you think Jim even wants Sherlock back?” 

“Because you have no idea how close they were.” 

“The key word being ‘were’ which is past tense.”

Mycroft pretended that he hadn’t even heard that. He went on smoothly, “Sherlock and Jimmy were together for years till Sherlock discovered what he truly stood for. He tried to reason it out with Jim and told him they could be on the same side of the law but Jim refused to listen or change his path. Well, now they are on opposite sides of the law and if Jim has you, his one-man army, then Sherlock has me, a man with an actual army. What this might lead to is a showdown and it might hurt Jim and if it does….then it also hurts Sherlock. For no fault of his own my brother will be hurt, how does that seem fair? I shall do everything to stop that from happening Colonel Sebastian Augustus Moran. Believe me, I will do anything and everything.” 

“Oh I believe you all right Mycroft. But just for a moment, please consider recording all you said and playing it back. I am sure you’d realize you have been no worse than all the things you accused Jim of.” 

“How so?” 

“Impulsiveness for starters, because your decision to cage Jim in a way and do a tradeoff with him isn’t based on any real good. Jim can go rogue any time he wants and maybe give you a better reason to put him down. So that’s cruelty, which is the second similarity I wish to point out here. You have been selfish and destructive too, since you chose to destroy your morals to write off crimes and wrongdoings simply because having Jim as an ally suits your interests. Finally, you are manipulative, because you are trying to throw a temptation at me so that I can either betray or force my employer into something he doesn’t want to do. If only you knew, I don’t even miss my earlier life.”

Mycroft looked at him calmly but his twitching fingers and jaw muscles told a different tale. 

“Don’t tell me I didn’t give you a chance.” 

“I won’t. I appreciate the chance but it’s not enough for me to sell my loyalty.” 

“I didn’t take you to be so stupidly emotional. This is for the greater good.” 

“I don’t think moral superiority suits you Mr. Holmes.” 

***

Sebastian came back to a sulking Jim and a dark house. The shorter man had not turned on a single light. He had not even let Nigella in. She was sitting at the doorstep. 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and let her in before finding Jim in the home office and dragging him upstairs to the bedroom to try on the clothes. 

As he tried the items one by one, Jim’s bad mood passed and he started smiling again. He even posed for Sebastian who heaped praises on him and took every opportunity to kiss him, just the way he knew Jim liked things. The criminal also complained his stomach was growling and Nigella quickly got him the snacks he liked to munch between meals, a granola bar, a few dried figs, a glass of watermelon juice. But Jim was a dangerous, observant and astute man and he demonstrated that the moment the frugal meal was over. 

“What did Mycroft fucking Holmes want from us?” 

Sebastian was startled at first but since he hadn’t planned on concealing anything at all, he narrated the whole incident the way it had exactly happened. Jim listened without any reactions till they got to the point where Sherlock’s name came up. At that, the mastermind suddenly started to grow manic and in a flash he had torn up a new suit, smashed a framed photograph and picked up a sharp shard of glass in a manner that suggested possible self-harm. Sebastian shot across the room and took the shard from him, resulting in bleeding fingers for both of them, and Jim screamed like an animal as he was restrained and dragged to the bathroom to clean and disinfect the wound. “Let me go, leemmeee goooo!” 

“No.” 

“Don’t treat me like a child you asshole.” 

“Then don’t act like one.”

“Shut up you sonofabitch….no, your mum doesn’t deserve this, shut up you shithole.” 

“That’s better. See the cuts are cleaned and disinfected now.” 

Jim blinked as if he couldn’t believe how calm Seb was. 

Sebastian managed to take care of the cuts on his fingers and palm too before he sat on the pot and pulled Jim down on his lap. “You knew about Mycroft and I assume you are pretty secure in your own space hence that man wouldn’t seem to be a threat to you. Yet here you are, behaving like an unhinged little thing again. Is it about Sherlock? Did it bring on a flood of memories?” 

Jim stiffened, “No.” 

“Is it about Sherlock? IS IT?” 

Jim sighed. His silence was the answer Seb needed. 

“Well,” he said with a soft exhale, “It is always about that detective, isn’t it? You spy on him, have people tail him, text him. Will you ever trust me enough to lead a Sherlock-free life? Or would I have to put up with the ghost in the attic always?”

Jim suddenly sounded small and helpless, “Ghost in the attic? Yes, I think there is.”


	24. Scared Little Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian breaks through Jim's defenses finally and.....there is some hot smut!

Incredible arousal woke Sebastian from a deep sleep. He looked down his body groggily and was greeted with the sight of a naked Jim lying between his open legs and bobbing his dark head up and down as he sucked on Sebastian’s hard flesh.

 

“Fuck,” the sleep shot out of Seb’s eyes in a flash, “Oh God Jimmy I’m so hard!”

 

Jim hummed around his mouthful and Sebastian’s felt those vibrations run through his cock. It felt so good to have that hot mouth wrapped around him, that wicked tongue touching parts of his dick that were the most sensitive and those agile hands cupping and squeezing his balls, and he bucked up into Jim’s wet cavern in ecstasy, so close to his orgasm that he could almost feel the incredibleness of it. His hands went from fisting the sheets to Jim’s dark tufts of hair, grabbing them to keep him in place as he began to fuck his mouth in abandon, desperate for the release that was so near and yet so far. His legs tensed and heat pooled in his groin while desperate groans tumbled out of his mouth.

 

A horny and eager to please Jim was rare but whenever that happened, he took Sebastian’s breath away.

 

“Make me cum baby,” he begged, eyes opening and closing as his hips jerked, “So close, damn, I am so close.”

 

Jim grinned around his mouthful.

 

“Stop teasing you little sinister kitten.”

 

“Hmmmmmfffff.”

 

“Jimmmy….make me cum…and I promise you I’ll do that thing.”

 

Jim looked up through his lashes and his dark eyes glittered from the promise he had just heard. Humming in happiness again, he doubled his efforts on Sebastian’s erection and sucked him harder, relaxing his throat so the former soldier could keep fucking his mouth just the way he liked to. Sebastian began to move his hips uncontrollably, shaking all over as his cock started to throb on Jim’s tongue. It didn’t take him too long thereafter to experience a shattering climax.

 

“Jimmyyyyyy,” he cried out as he came, shooting all he had down Jim’s throat and thrashing about in bed so much he almost threw the smaller man off himself.

 

But Jim hung on and swallowed every drop Seb had to offer, then took enough time to lick him clean. Usually an epic orgasm like this meant Sebastian would be too over-sensitive down there to let Jim continue, but at that moment the hot mouth was still welcome on his overheated dick. Something about Jim’s blowjobs always took Sebastian by surprise, as did his own body’s reactions to it. Jim could make him go places and do things he had never thought he was capable of.

 

“Oh God,” he moaned as Jim let go of his cock finally, with a slurping sound. He was still hard and erect, even after such an awesome climax.

 

“My turn now?” Jim asked eagerly, climbing up Sebastian’s body like a monkey and sitting atop his chest triumphantly.

 

Sebastian was still not in a position to speak coherently so he merely indicated with his eyes for Jim to continue giving him his ‘wishes’. Never the least bit shy about asking for what he wanted and needed, Jim rattled off his wish list instantly to his lover. “I want you to fuck me against the wall, you standing and me on your lap. Then I want you to eat ice cream and honey off me and make me cum with just your tongue. Then I want you to tie me up, blindfold me and then make me cum again by fucking me next to a nice toy of your choice. I want you to make me cum three times at least before we stop, so no short cuts there and no cheating on your promise.”

 

“I don’t cheat,” Seb smiled.

 

“No short cuts.”

 

“Never, will do just as you want me to do.”

 

“Mmmm, start then?”

 

“Now I know why you milked me first. Listening to you asking for all those things would have made me cream the sheets without even a touch.”

 

Jim grinned and for the first time in weeks Sebastian saw no tinge of mania, manipulation or morbidity in that smile. “I am clever aren’t I?” The smaller man asked.

 

“Clever, sexy and irresistible,” Sebastian answered, easily picking Jim up in his arms as he got up from the bed and walked over to the wall in the corner of the room.

 

***

 

“Oh fuck,” Jim screamed as he tugged at the soft leather restraints around his wrist, “I’ll fucking kill you for this.”

 

“Don’t be impatient little one,” Sebastian grinned like a shark as he gently slipped off the blindfold from Jim’s eyes.

 

Jim gasped at what he saw. Sebastian was wearing leather pants that showed off every dip and rise of his lower torso musculature. His fly was open and his huge hard cock was sticking out, shiny at the tip with pre-cum. Jim’s own body was shining with a fine sheen of sweat and sticking from saliva and a few other things that had been slathered over his skin a while ago. After a screaming, brain shattering climax against the wall, his legs and arms wrapped around the tall sniper, he had been made to cum once more with Sebastian’s tongue lapping up ice cream from his cock and balls. And yet, despite all that, he was desperate to come yet again after being tortured with a toy and a chicken feather for almost an hour.

 

“You’re going to kill me,” he panted with a pout, staring wide eyed at his bodyguard and lover who finally pushed inside his well-used hole, next to the thick vibrator that was already ticking at his prostate.

 

Sebastian had been holding back his urges for so long that he plunged in and started fucking Jim like a well-hung bull. The smaller man screeched with pleasure and wrapped his legs around the taller man, pulling him in even deeper. What a slut, Seb thought as he thrust and pulled like a man possessed, his hand on Jim’s dick and fondling it obsessively. The bed groaned and squeaked under their onslaught and the bedposts creaked as Jim aggressively tugged at his restraints. He had been kept on the edge for so long that he would have come immediately but Sebastian had wisely kept a firm and slightly painful hold at the base of his cock, cutting off the liberty to come at will.

 

“Fuck,” Jim’s eyes screwed tightly shut as a wave of pleasure hit him and his cock jerked in Seb’s grip.

 

“Yeah,” Seb winked evilly, “Fuck.”

 

Jim dug his heels into Sebastian’s butt, turning his head from side to side till the latter grabbed him roughly by the hairs and kissed him hard. Jim moaned into the kiss and tried to let go of his controls, wanting nothing more than to come and lose himself endlessly to the blissed-out aftermath of it, but Sebastian was not done yet. Dominating Jim in bed while the genius more or less dominated him everywhere else was such an intoxicating shift of power that he was literally ‘high’ on it.

 

“Lemme cummm.”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Fuck you, douche bag.”

 

“Not yet, I said not yet, shush.”

 

“Arse, prick….”

 

“Decide which one.”

 

Jim growled with rage and gave Sebastian a death glare. But deep down Sebastian knew Jim liked being teased and toyed with in bed, especially on days or nights when he was in the mood of being dominated. “I think both huh?” He smiled cunningly, “Okay then, both of them.” He began to pound Jim’s arse while keeping a tight hold over the base of his cock, disallowing any chances of a quick orgasm.

 

But Jim was no innocent lamb. An even more cunning look took over his eyes and he started to swing back and forth on Sebastian’s cock, effectively riding him by leveraging his restraints, moving and sliding his torso up and down to let the sniper’s thick cock drill in and out of his tight, hot arse.

 

“Uh-uh-uh-uhhhhh!”

 

Sebastian hadn’t expected this move from Jim and it took him by such surprise that he crashed headlong into the orgasm that came thundering towards him. He let himself flow into Jim and immediately registered the tight arse contracting pleasurably around his erupting manhood, indicating that his lover had also reached his climax. Jim came so hard his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he went slack and slacker with every shot of semen that emerged from his turgid length, till his eyes dropped shut and his head lolled to one side. Seb watched him fondly and carefully even though he was going through the single most explosive orgasm of his life, which seemed to continue and linger for so long that even he felt as if he’d pass out from the intensity of it.

 

At the end he managed to stay awake, but only just.

 

“J’m…J’m?”

 

“Mmmm…..go’way.”

 

“You’kay?”

 

“Ye…g’t’sleep.”

 

“I love you Jim.”

 

He had no idea where it came from. Maybe because he was not entirely in his senses or because he was soft and pliant and brain dead after two awesome hours of ravishing Jim, but he simply couldn’t keep the words to himself any longer. They came out and he crashed right afterwards, holding Jim possessively to his chest and pressing his lips to the soft tufts of his dark hairs. Whatever aftermath was coming up, he would face it later. Right now he needed his recovery sleep and so did Jim.

 

***

 

Sebastian woke up abruptly from a dream in which Moriarty Sr was talking about the day Jim had graduated and he had asked his son what sort of ‘graduation gift’ he would prefer. Jim had apparently asked for freedom to do his own thing, be the master of his own destiny.

_“Jim always wants to be the one to decide. If you decide better on his behalf, it’s not half as good as what he would have chosen for himself…..”_

 

On waking, he found Jim lying next to him, facing him and comfortably nested under the possessive grip of Sebastian’s arm. His eyes were open and he seemed wide awake, which meant he had woken up some time ago. His expression said he had something on his mind but his eyes were blank, the sort of blankness Seb saw in them when Jim was defeated by his own mind. For long he had known the man’s mind to be so complex that sometimes it sucked Jim into its own orbit and held him captive there, torturing him with the minutest of details and pushing him on the brink of abyss as he struggled to keep his bearings right.

 

This was one of those moments.

 

Before he could utter a word Jim spoke in a dull, flat voice. “I think for a long time you have been wondering why I kept trying to push you away, why I was such a bastard all the time, why I tempted you to get away from me. It was all because I didn’t want you to fall with me when I do. And I am going to fall someday Tiger, I definitely will. Ennui will kill me or my enemies will, if nothing else does then I will do something just because I haven’t tried it yet. I am crazy, I am mental, I know it all. I know my highs and lows, I know my capacity to handle them and when the noise gets too much…..loving me is perhaps the worst mistake you have ever made. Yes, I heard you before you went to sleep last night. I was awake, barely in my senses but I was awake enough to hear you.”

 

Sebastian bit down on his bottom lip, “You’re scared.”

 

“Yes, yes I am.”

 

“For me?”

 

“For us. For so long I never feared anything, not death, nor torture, nor conspiracy, nor abduction, nothing at all. But now you’re…..my weakness. How long before Mycroft finds out about this…..if he’s not found it out already. Last afternoon, when he met you, he was fishing for answers. Sooner or later he will have those answers and that day….Jim Moriarty will no longer be a force to reckon with but an ordinary man who can be easily cowed down due to a bargaining chip.”

 

“I am not and never will be a bargaining chip for you Jimmy,” Sebastian answered, stroking his cheek, “If they ever try to use me to get to you, just abandon me and forget. Move on.”

 

“Easy isn’t it?”

 

“Does that mean you love me too?”

 

“Sebbie stop it.”

 

“Jim, just once will you admit what we both already know. Whatever you just say was practically a fucking confession about your feelings.”

 

“That’s all you will get out of me I’m afraid.”

 

Sebastian sighed and smiled, “What if I am happy with just that?”

 

Jim rolled his eyes, “What if I don’t live long? What if MI5 or one of the gangs get to me?”

 

“I won’t let them,” Sebastian answered, “God forbid if they do, then I’ll die defending and protecting you. Guess what, I won’t regret loving you, not even with my dying breath. If you have thirty days left in this world then I want all those thirty days and thirty nights too.”

 

“You crazy bastard,” Jim snuggled closer, “You stupid fucking crazy but magnificent bastard. I have tried for close to two years and you simply refuse to change. Stubborn as a mule, always aren’t you? I guess then it’s my duty to answer a few questions to you, now that we have established that our relationship is no longer simply professional. I guess you want to know about Sherlock. Well, I did love Sherlock once and he will always be a part of my life. But he is my past, a past that I’d rather forget. He did love me too but when we wanted to be together, our backgrounds clashed. My dad and Mycroft, they were at opposite ends and Sherly and I bore the brunt of their enmity. What I do regret is that Sherlock didn’t trust me, nor did he give me a chance to find a way so we could still be together. He acted like a righteous, moralistic bastard. He made me feel…..discarded.”

 

Sebastian kissed the top of his head, “But that’s not what I am going to do love. I will be there for you no matter how hard the times are. I didn’t choose you based on your qualities, I chose you because I loved you the moment I saw your photograph. There is a difference.”

 

“What difference?”

 

“Sherlock chose you for your brains, your ideas, the fact that you were the only person who could challenge him and educate him on something. But I chose you simply because you are Jim. Your attributes are not important to me, neither are your weaknesses. We all have them, weaknesses I mean, so leaving someone by quoting one of their weaknesses is an act of cowardice. And I sir, am not a coward.”

 

A tiny smile played at the corner of Jim’s lips, “No you are not. You never were scared of me. I’ve seen you afraid for me and not of me. That was what made me respect you always.”

 

Sebastian winked, “A funny way you have of showing your respect then.”

 

“I told you why I acted like a bitch.”

 

“Now you won’t?”

 

“I won’t. It’s not helping. You won’t let go no matter how hard I try. You just get clingier.”

 

“You’re clingy too, and jealous, and you do love me,” Sebastian cuddled him in his arms, “Testing my loyalty, sending Miranda after me, getting all angsty about my friends, even trying to kill one of them, buying me birthday gifts….c’mon Jim, say it already.”

 

Jim didn’t say the three words eventually but the look in his eyes, an open look filled with a ‘need’ for Sebastian’s affections, was all the sniper needed to know he had finally cracked the hard outer-shell of his crazy, brilliant boss.


	25. An interlude of happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Sebastian finally become a couple. But the question is, how long will the happiness last!

The next three months for Sebastian was a time spent on a glittering cloud.

 

Jim and he had moved to the next stage of their relationship where they acted like boss and employee in public but the moment the doors to their house (they had now moved to an apartment in Southern London) closed behind them, they were like domestic partners who were very much in love.

 

Jim’s way of showing his love was rather strange though. One day Sebastian found a sheep’s heart in the fridge, with a note ‘With all my heartfelt love’. When he had playfully commented that it was an animal’s heart, Jim had replaced it the next day with a human heart. At that point Sebastian had been forced to say that he was convinced of Jim’s love and didn’t need any body parts, human or animal, to prove it. Jim had promptly organized dinner on top of a diving board after that, saying he wanted their relationship to reach ‘new heights’ but the board was so narrow that they had ended up falling into the water after the first two courses. But whatever annoyance Seb felt was washed away by the sound of Jim’s uninhibited laughter, carefree and sparkling, which the sniper had drank in like champagne. It was so nice to see Jim happy for a change.

 

He had found out that Jim got off to seeing him work out or seeing him with blood on his skin (of a target or an enemy, not Sebastian’s own), and some of those moments resulted in the hottest sex between the two men. Jim was happy to bottom for Seb but whenever he topped, he made it such an awesome experience for the sniper that Sebastian actually looked forward to those occasions. That said something about their relationship, since Seb had been an ass-virgin before he had surrendered to Jim.

 

Slowly Jim began to get better at eating and sleeping. He had his crazy moments still, like the occasion when he had thrown knives at Sebastian and a bottle of cologne, just because Sebastian had dared to mention that the target he had taken down was a handsome man.

 

But all in all, Sebastian was glad that Jim ate two small meals a day and slept at least six hours on most nights. They slept on the same bed, Jim usually cradled in Sebastian’s strong arms, the sniper humming some song in the darkness as Jim slowly settled into slumber.

 

A week-long low happened too. Seb woke up to find Jim sitting in one corner of the bathroom, his energies and mood so low he didn’t even have the strength or inclination to get up and walk to the sink to brush his teeth.

 

But by now Sebastian knew all the tricks to handle Jim in every color and element of his. He not just kept Jim in a safe room, where the walls were padded and there was nothing sharp, the windows were all barred with iron grills, he himself spent all his hours in there with the man. He talked to him constantly, gently, using his voice to keep the criminal grounded to earth even as his inner demons attacked him and dragged him down.

 

He took Jim to the zoo, to the Warner Brothers Harry Potter studio, to a museum, all those places Jim liked to visit but never had the time to visit because he was far too busy plotting crimes or running his business. Even though Jim didn’t react much or even show a tiny sliver of a smile, Sebastian saw in those dark eyes the flicker of life coming back, a streak of peace amidst an ocean of restlessness, and knew that he had done the right thing.

 

He slept little during those seven days but when Jim came back to himself, he thanked Sebastian profusely by hugging him for a full hour, murmuring things about how he loved the snow wolves in the zoo, the Hogwarts train at the studio and the paintings at the museum. Those were moments Sebastian lived for and he was immensely thankful that Jim was finally able to trust him. Their work went on just fine too, aside from a few hitches here and there which they were able to solve together. The empire was growing, as was the web, and nowadays the ‘Please Jim can you fix this for me’ came from people in positions of power and importance. Some of them were so powerful that Sebastian often wondered what might happen to them if they were caught.

 

If there was one thing that he was still not made a part of, it was the black book Jim created on his clients. Every time Sebastian asked him about it, he was brushed aside with ‘I shall tell you when it’s time to tell you’.

 

“You don’t text Sherlock nowadays,” Seb said one evening as they sat in the same room, working on their laptops.

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“I said….”

 

“I heard you Tiger. Was that a question or a statement?”

 

“It depends on your answer.”

 

“I do text him sometimes, he replies always, even if delayed. Sometimes he initiates a conversation too and I reply. But not as often as before. He is busy, mostly solving crimes I have committed.”

 

“Does he know you are the one behind it?”

 

“Yes but he never asks, I never tell him so.”

 

“What would it take to stop communicating with him completely?”

 

Jim stopped his furious tapping on the laptop and placed his elbows on the desk, looking at Sebastian curiously. Seb continued to work, not looking up even though he could feel Jim’s eyes on him. “You can stop pretending it doesn’t affect you that I text him,” Jim quipped.

 

“Why should I bother?” Sebastian asked nonchalantly even though he was dying to say _‘I really want you to stop’._

 

“Then why did you ask?”

 

“Because it seems a bit dangerous.”

 

“I thrive on danger if you haven’t noticed it yet.”

 

The argument died down thereafter because Jim chose to shut his laptop, climb on Sebastian’s lap and suck his bottom lip between his juicy buds. That was the quintessential trick Jim always applied to shut him up, by kissing him, getting cuddly and affectionate or simply initiating sex. Sex was a big thing between them and they were as compatible between the sheets as they were at client meetings, each knowing what the other needed by merely taking one look at them. Sometimes they went at it like animals on heat, mating three or four times during the night while some off-work days were spent only in bed, ravishing each other again and again and ordering takeaways. One day Sebastian had answered the door in just a jockstrap, leading to the delivery boy dropping the pizza box and running off in absolute fright. The two men had a big laugh about it later and Jim had even joked that using a pizza box was also a good way to shield the privates.

 

One night as they lay in bed, Jim curled up in Sebastian’s arms as usual, the blonde dared to ask a question he always wanted to ask.

 

“Do you miss your dad?”

 

“Can’t miss someone I never really knew.”

 

“He had changed in old age, hadn’t he? Did you never feel like giving him a chance?”

 

“Someone like him shouldn’t have married and had kids. He never had time for us and because of his profession and his choice of life, my mum and sis had to meet a violent and untimely end. Thanks to him and his rivalry with the MI5 and MI6, my first relationship with destroyed. At some point when I had become a handful, he abandoned me as well. When I needed him the most he left me alone to deal with my shit. No, I miss him as much as I miss having measles.”

 

“Bit harsh, don’t you think?”

 

“Maybe. But whatever it is, I am never having kids of my own.”

 

“Jim….”

“The best thing about homosexual relationships, gay or lesbian, is that we can’t be accidentally pregnant. Our families, be it adopted kids or biological ones conceived through surrogates and sperm donors, have to be 100% planned. Planning means we have to think wisely over the decision and the more I think, the more I realize I can’t bring in another Jim into this world.”

 

Sebastian sighed and buried his face in Jim’s neck.

 

Jim stiffened. “You upset? Will you be bored with me if we don’t have a brood around us to occupy us?”

 

“Never,” Sebastian said, realizing immediately that it was the truth, “Kids would be good but even if they don’t happen, all I need to be happy is you.”

 

Usually this would evoke a reaction like ‘You are so sick Moran, so stupidly sentimental’ but that day Jim cuddled into his arms, as if he was truly happy to hear that. Sometimes Sebastian felt he was deceiving himself but true happiness was finally beginning to happen to him. He was getting a taste of a real relationship, one where he loved someone madly and was slowly beginning to get back some of that love. It made his nights warm and cozy and his days delightfully frothy and blissful. Even as he waited for a strike, he found himself thinking about things he would do to Jim when he went back home later. How he would undress and caress him, how he’d spend hours on foreplay till Jim was begging like a slut, how he would plunder that beautiful body or let Jim fuck him till he screamed.

 

He didn’t botch up any jobs though. Well, once he almost did and Jim was responsible for it, literally.

 

Sebastian was on a rooftop in Rome, warm and sunny Rome in the summer, dressed in black leather pants that fitted his lean lower torso and long legs like a second skin and a light semi see through summery cotton shirt which he had left half undone to let in some air. He was all set up and waiting, eyes on the street below where his target would emerge in a little while, when he heard footsteps approach him. His instant reaction was to let go of his sniper rifle and aim his revolver at the intruder when he saw it was a grinning Jim.

 

 _A naked and grinning Jim_.

 

“Boss,” he groaned, cock jumping in his trousers, “What the hell?”

 

“Like what you see?” Jim stroked his cock as he stood there in broad daylight, naked as the day he was born and very sexy, his dick already hard and pointing up at his chin.

 

“Of course but….but then…the hit…” Sebastian stammered, arousal fast making him light headed and shivering.

 

“I didn’t say we will fuck now,” Jim said nonchalantly, “This is your test. Can you still hold your nerve and keep your cock in your pants and take that shot?”

 

“Jimmy what the hell….what if someone comes here and sees you like this?”

 

“Oh c’mooonnnn Moraaaan. We could be arrested for indecent exposure or for trying to kill people. What else can happen?”

 

“How can you be so…..”

 

“Eyes on the prize Moran….you arse….not my cock….eyes on the target.”

 

Sebastian had almost missed that day, almost. It had been a lucky escape for them because they had managed to, for the first time, draw attention to themselves. On top of that there was a naked Jim in his arms, clinging to him like a monkey as he ran to the safety of their waiting car. But once back home the gamble Jim had taken and Seb had suffered through had paid off rather handsomely.

 

The moment they were in their rented service apartment, Sebastian tore off the shorts and T shirt Jim had managed to put on in the car and bent him over the couch, taking him hard and rough. But once was not going to make the cut that day so they had reversed positions when they had taken it to the bedroom. Sebastian agreed to bottom again, the desire to have a dominant Jim fuck him into oblivion too much of a temptation.

 

“Fuck you’re so tight,” Jim moaned as he moved in and out of a near orgasmic Sebastian, “So bloody tight and hot, I am getting fried in there.” He made all kinds of adorable noises as he fucked Sebastian like a true maniac, giggling with hysteria one moment and moaning like a whore the next. He had discovered Sebastian’s prostate once again and the taller man came helplessly not once but twice, clutching at Jim and the headboard alternately as he was rutted into the mattress. Jim collapsed on top of him the moment he came and quickly became a needy lover from the dominant alpha male of a few moments ago, making Sebastian wonder yet again as to how anyone could fully understand Jim.

 

Sometimes after they had finished making love, Jim went quiet and still. But this was not the kind of silence or inaction that came with Jim’s lows. Instead it was a period of deep introspection during which Jim opened up about a lot of things.

 

One such midday on Sunday, when they had woken up late, had a biggish breakfast and then taken a shower together (ending up in shower sex of course, Seb fucking Jim against the shower cubicle wall), Jim spoke for the first time about Irene.

 

They lay on the couch, the television on with the sound muted and showing some tennis match, when Jim unexpectedly said, “Irene hates how you broke through my defenses while she couldn’t. But she is happy that I am happy.”

 

_Sebastian’s head jerked towards his chest where Jim’s head was cradled._

 

“My dad was quite disappointed initially when he learned I was seeing Sherlock,” Jim said, voice faraway, “Not sure if he thought my gayness was in-born or Sherlock had given me the ‘virus’ of homosexuality. He promptly tried to hook up Irene and I and naturally I turned her down. I was young so I didn’t do it properly, I didn’t do it gracefully and she felt quite exposed and somewhat humiliated.”

 

“So giving her a director position on the board was a way to offer her some dignity.”

 

“A guilt offering rather.”

 

“Are you guys close?”

“If we were, wouldn’t you have found out Sebby?”

 

“Yeah that too.”

 

Jim shifted to lie right on top of Sebastian and stare up into his face as he lay on the much larger man. “She is useful, tough, resourceful, fearless. She willingly joined this trade and made it her life’s mission to be a career woman, someone who gets off on dominating others rather than succumbing to their charms. When she saw Sherlock with me, she commented that she could have him too and one day she will. I doubt that though. Sherlock might find her intellectually stimulating and admire her conning skills, but he won’t want attachments. He learned his lesson with me and has chosen to be a detached asexual man.”

 

“Asexual?”

 

“Yeah. Strange for a man who was quite active….”

 

“Jimmm!”

 

“Ooops, no more talk about Sherly o jealous one! So, about Irene, she was happy as long as I was single and nobody was able to get to me. Then she would have been one of the many who didn’t win. But you came along and did the impossible. Now she feels defeated all over again. But guess what, she’s worried about you. She feels the threats from Mycroft are very real and that man would do anything to keep his brother safe or to keep his ‘Queen’ happy.”

 

Sebastian tightened his hold over Jim, “Do you think so as well?”

 

“Mycroft is not a man to be toyed with.”

 

“But you are you. He can’t….”

 

“If he ever does that, you can trust only two people to guide you. One is Irene and the other is Mary. Like it or not, women have a perceptiveness about things that we men lack.”

 

Sebastian looked into those liquid doe eyes that suddenly looked naïve and inexperienced, a bit scared even, and something hit his chest full force, as if he had been pierced through the heart. He was used to boss Jim, manic Jim, jealous Jim, threatening Jim, even dead eyed Jim, but to see him so wary about what was to come was not something he wanted to see. He didn’t want to see Jim this way.

 

“Honey, this isn’t going to happen for real,” he whispered, “I got you baby.”

 

“Yeah,” Jim answered briefly but his eyes remained wary, somewhat lidded, as he tried to reconcile himself to the fact that his newfound happiness might be short-lived. It was easier to deal with this when he had nobody else with him.

 

But now he had his Tiger. And he was afraid because he wasn’t alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do criminals get a happy ending?


	26. When something has to go wrong it will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and Sherlock have a heart-heart chat while an unseen danger stalks Moran

Sebastian had heard the statements ‘When something has to go wrong it will’ and ‘Good times don’t last any more than bad times do’ but what he hadn’t expected was for his wonderful life with Jim to be interrupted so soon and so brutally.

 

About four months since he and Jim had become a real couple and two and half years since they had started working and living together, Sebastian woke up one morning to find a sleeping Jim whimpering next to him.

 

Clearly he was in the grips of a nightmare, he assumed, as he gently shook the smaller man to wake him up and get him out of it. Jim didn’t wake up yet but he snuggled closer to Sebastian and tried to grasp at his arms and shoulder, as if preventing himself from sinking further into the abyss of his mind. But then the sniper saw something that shocked the living daylights out of him. Jim was not just whimpering but also crying in his sleep and he had never seen the criminal this distressed before. There were tear tracks on both cheeks and his nose was snotty, he looked like a vulnerable young child caught amidst demonic creatures and crying out for help. His heart shattered into a million pieces, he shook his lover harder to make him open his eyes and shake off whatever dastardly dream was bothering him so much.

 

“JIMMY wake up, WAKE UP.”

 

“Sebbieee.”

 

“I am here.”

 

“No don’t let them do it.”

 

“Nobody is here but you and me. Look around love, it’s just us.”

 

Jim sat up and hiccupped, then made a choked sound and blinked hard. Slowly he regained his bearings and panted heavily, his body covered by a thin film of sweat just as his face was covered with the moisture of his tears. He grasped at Sebastian and took a good look at that man before he fell down on his back next to him, closing his eyes and sighing out loudly in much needed relief.

 

“Jim you scared me man,” Sebastian offered him a glass of water which the criminal drank thirstily.

 

“It was….”

 

“Want to talk about it?”

 

“They took you away from me. They knew how to hurt me. They took you away.”

 

“Nobody will ever take me away from you. Nobody can. It was just a bad dream, forget it.”

 

Jim looked scared and it scared Sebastian too. Seeing the man’s much guarded vulnerable side surface was actually quite unsettling for him. He was used to tough Jim, indomitable Jim, fearless Jim. This made him look like a regular person and not the larger than life persona he carried on his small and slender frame. Seb kissed Jim’s closed eyelids lovingly.

 

“They are going to try,” the brunette whispered in a pained voice, “I know they will.”

 

“Well, let them try all they want,” Sebastian said with a brave smile, using a braver voice, “I know we have powerful enemies. But we are no less powerful and you are sharper than all of their minds combined together. And if Mycroft can match your wits then we have Mycroft’s weakness mapped out too, his brother Sherlock. If he ever as much as tries to touch a hair on your head, I will level London and cut off Sherlock’s balls and I don’t care whether you still have feelings for him or not. If he is on the other side then he will get the same treatment from me as any other enemy we have. Now calm down love and go back to sleep. It’s only 6-30 am.”

 

“Is it?” Jim groaned.

 

“Yeah and we went to bed around 2. So you need at least two more hours.”

 

“Okay daddy.”

 

“I love you baby boy.”

 

“Can I suck daddy’s cock?”

 

“No, you will sleep now. No naughty business. Once you’ve slept enough I will give you your favorite lollipop.”

 

“Promise….” Jim was slurring, eyes already falling shut.

 

“Promise.”

 

“See you soon Tiger.”

 

“Love you Jimmy, sleep now.”

 

Jim was asleep but Sebastian was wide awake now and very disturbed. He knew how worried his lover was ever since the day Mycroft had literally abducted him for a chat and used Sherlock as a bait to keep Moriarty at bay. Knowing that Jim still had hidden and dormant feelings for the detective, it had been a particular harsh blow. How was Jim supposed to choose between his current and his ex, especially with an ex who he had not quite parted from.

 

That’s it, Seb’s jaw hardened, he had to have a chat with Sherlock. If anyone could help make this better, it was that detective. Sebastian knew he wasn’t too comfortable meeting Sherlock, especially when it came to talking about Jim, but to hell with his own feelings now. He had to do this so Jim could have his closure and Sebastian could sound off a warning to Mycroft at the same time. Touch Jim and I will raze Sherlock to the ground.

 

‘Morning my kitten. Going out for some work. Will be back by noon, join you for the conference call at 12-30 – Your Tiger’.

 

He left the note next to Jim’s pillow, topping it up with a small box of cookies and coffee in a thermos which he knew Jim would need the moment he woke up and brushed his teeth. Then he pushed a pillow and one of his shirts into Jim’s arms, smiling as he saw the cuteness overload of his lover breathing his scent in and cuddling both items in his arms. With Jim comfortable and sleeping soundly, he ate a small and quick bite and went for a quick shower. He wiped himself down hurriedly and pulled on a fresh pair of jeans, a lime green shirt and a light summer jacket on top of it. Running his fingers through his damp blond locks, he perched his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose and picked up the keys to his motorcycle.

 

“See you babe,” he whispered and was sure Jim smiled in his slumber.

 

***

 

“Sebastian?”

 

“Yes Sherlock, the one and only.”

 

Sherlock looked completely taken aback when he saw the tall blond sniper standing at the doorway to his flat, hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels. Mrs. Hudson stood behind him, having followed him upstairs to check if he was a welcome visitor or not. Though devastatingly handsome, Sebastian’s size and movements were remarkably fear inducing and didn’t give him the normalcy of a boy next door. Sherlock gave his landlady a nod of assurance and she went back downstairs again. The moment she was gone, Sherlock shot up from the chair, “Is Jim all right?”

 

“So even you think Jim is in danger is it?”

 

Sebastian couldn’t cut out the caustic edge in his comment. Sherlock noticed it immediately but his reaction was surprisingly benign. “Can I get you a cup of tea?”

 

“Sure. You don’t expect company this morning, do you?”

 

“No. Only John is around but he’s gone to attend an emergency and it might take him time, who knows, even the whole day.”

 

“He is a good man.”

 

“Yeah, so he is. Been a big difference to my life since the day he walked in.”

 

“You are a great detective, a brilliant and analytical mind, a man who can see things others cannot. Could you understand why I am here?”

 

“I do. Hang on, let me get the tea and I shall tell you.”

 

Five minutes later Sherlock returned to the sitting room with a tray, teapot, cups, creamer, sugar bowl, strainer and biscuits placed on it. Sebastian would have laughed in any other situation because it was clear that Sherlock wasn’t used to doing this on his own, there was spilled tea on the tray and a cup lying on its side, biscuits scattered over the plate which was so perilously perched on the edge that it could fall any moment. But laughter was the last thing on his mind now and he focused only on the topics he had come to discuss, though he did generously help Sherlock with the tea by mixing sugar and milk in their respective cups. Sherlock took a biscuit but Sebastian refused the plate when it was slid across the table towards him. He was not hungry at all but the tea actually was a welcome refreshment.

 

“Please answer my question Sebastian, is Jim okay?” Sherlock asked after the first sip of tea.

 

“Yes,” Sebastian replied, “For now. But you know what’s going on, don’t you?”

 

“Is there anyone else to be blamed?” Sherlock asked, “The hand that lives by the sword also dies by it. The path he walks on, you walk on, do you really suppose it leads to old age and a happy and blissful journey into the sunset?”

 

“I am not here to listen to your sermons on moral superiority,” Sebastian shot back, “There is organized crime, there is government fed crime, there is espionage services where people kill in the name of patriotism and there are heads of state who order mass execution by starting wars. We are not and will never be the first or the last ones on this path and one day even you will get there, when you can no longer sit on your moral high horse.”

 

Sherlock looked a little agitated, “But does it help to be in a position like you and me, where I have to wonder if someone I care about is actually alive or not, especially when he doesn’t text me back for days? Or when you have to talk to me about something when I should be the last person you’d wish to see on this planet.”

 

“It’s your brother,” Sebastian burst out in anger, “He wants Jim to work for him, with him, because it obviously strengthens his position with the government and in the international espionage community. To him it doesn’t matter what Jim does, as long as he is tied to his coat tails and being of some use to him. And he has the cheek to offer you as a possible prize if Jim agrees…..”

 

“He what?”

 

“You heard me.”

 

“Mycroft can’t do this, can’t say this, couldn’t have said it.”

 

“Why not? Why would I lie?”

 

“Mycroft was the one who insisted, along with Jim’s dad, that we should part ways.”

 

Sebastian snorted, “This isn’t the first time your scheming brother would have changed his mind and not the last time either. Now getting Moriarty over to his side is more important than his own moral superiority and by tying you into this he gets his insurance that Jim will never stray and never betray. But the big question is, do you still want Jim?”

 

Sherlock couldn’t answer immediately, an unlikely moment for a man like him who was always ready with a reply. Sebastian noticed it immediately and fidgeted with his tea cup as the detective thought through the whole thing and finally replied. “I won’t lie to you, your first love is always hard to forget and there are moments when my mind goes to that space where I go ‘what if’. Seb, I do see it in your eyes, I see the love, because once upon a time I had seen that in my eyes too. That’s precisely the reason why I’ll tell you why I broke it off with Jim even though he was my life. Thanks to the breakup and the loneliness that followed, I became a bloody addict.”

 

Sebastian sobered down. That was freaking hard admission to make and Sherlock had just done it. He understood the silence now.

 

“It is tempting Seb, it’s very tempting to have him back and have him on a leash. But that would defeat the very purpose of rekindling the relationship. A selfish part of me wants him back, caged, in my arms, for me to twist and mold his ways to suit my life and interests. For us to solve crimes together, watch the stars and talk about constellations like we used to, me playing the violin and he on the piano, which he plays so well….”

 

The detective sighed, “But it’s a wishful fantasy and fantasies have a very short shelf-life. He would go bored and dull and I’d forever live with the guilt that I caged not just a man but a brilliant mind. Sooner or later we would implode.”

 

“Thanks for being wise,” Sebastian said, “Now tell your brother that if he plans one wrong move against Jim, I’d do the same with you. If Jim has a weakness, then so does Mycroft.”

 

“Jim’s weakness is you,” Sherlock muttered, “And me.”

 

“Well I don’t think so….”

 

“No, not me, at least not anymore, not with Mycroft. So it’s only you.”

 

“Listen, I am not a man to be played with. I have done my share of gory killings and if need be, I will add the names of a Mycroft Holmes and Sherlock Holmes to that list. Stay away from Jim and I will try and dissuade him into getting deeper into the schemes that involve trouble for England and MI5. Any other crime, use your science and art of deduction to catch him if you can, it’s an open challenge to you. But I am sure you cannot, because he covers his tracks really meticulously. Which is why I am forbidding you from allowing Mycroft to play with him emotionally. That seems to be the only way he can get to him.”

 

“Don’t threaten me colonel,” Sherlock said in an iron voice, “I am sure you could have personally delivered this message to my brother but to deliver it more effectively you need me, which is why you are here. So if you need me, I suggest you tone down those threats.”

 

Sebastian was about to snipe back but Sherlock raised both hands.

 

“Hear me out first. I am telling you something straight from the heart this time. Jim and I ended things because we were too independent and too similar to have found a common way together. I expected him to bend my way and he no doubt expected me to bend his way. But the whole ‘My way or the Highway’ was not very conducive or healthy for a relationship and we sort of drifted apart. But that was a long time ago and we have moved on in our own ways. I am not part of any conspiracy to get Jim into a cage or on a leash but if his path crosses mine, where he is a consulting criminal and I am a consulting detective, I won’t put my feelings before my duty.”

 

“Rest assured, he will not do that either.”

 

“That’s a pact then. I will tell Mycroft I no longer want him for myself, so he can never use me as a pawn to get to Jim. But I don’t control Mycroft, his work or his bosses. He too has bosses whom he is answerable to. If they come after Jim then I can’t help him in any way.”

 

He paused and added, “But you can. He should know when to stop, who not to needle and whom to pacify. He’s a crazy little maniac, God help me I like that, but not everyone likes him that way. As an utterly intelligent and astute man, Jim needs to understand that his biggest enemy is his own mind, his own work and the path he has chosen to tread on. If you can take him off that path, the likes of Mycroft won’t have a reason to wish him harm.”

 

“Gentleman’s promise then?” Sebastian stood up.

 

“I won’t initiate a thing from my side nor bait him into a trap,” Sherlock extended his hand.

 

Sebastian shook it, “It was a good conversation.”

 

“It sure was,” Sherlock nodded, “Um….”

 

“What is it?” Sebastian asked suspiciously. Sherlock frowned, “You do know Mycroft has this place under surveillance right?”

 

“Yeah. Let him get a bit shaky when he sees who paid his baby brother a visit.”

 

“Be careful. Everyone meets their match. You never know which ‘Seb’ you’d meet today.”

 

“Thanks,” Sebastian said, “For the advice, the promise and the tea. By the way, I totally see now what Jim saw in you.”

 

“Not going to be modest,” Sherlock let out a dry, humorless chuckle, “I think he traded down with you. Now be gone, I have an experiment to go back to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be heavy angst in the next chapter


	27. Abducted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian faces his darkest days yet

Sebastian went to the alley where he had left his motorcycle, about a couple of blocks away from Baker Street, his head filled with thoughts about talking Jim into moving to another country. Maybe a less intense nation with more money, less focus on public reforms and economy, practically no crime rate, a newly formed nation, a small one, perhaps a tax haven like Monaco or Luxembourg. Being undercover for a while, in an obscure Latin American country or some beach in southeast Asia also sounded nice.

 

Consulting criminology was in their blood, as was the thrill of adventure, risk and adrenalin. This life had become their DNA, as had this web and this empire. Weaning themselves away from it would be a herculean task. But for a safety net to be built around them, this futuristic decision had to be taken.

 

Sebastian mentally calculated how much funds they had and how many aides would need their support to get new identities and start afresh. How many could be trusted and how many could simply be paid off. He was also pondering over where he could pop the question to Jim, as soon as the dark clouds had cleared and they had figured out a way to eliminate the threat of both Mycroft and their rival gangs. As he walked, he almost ran into someone and muttered a rushed ‘sorry’ before walking on, shaking his head to himself and laughing at how he was getting too ahead of the present. He was practically finding ways to dismantle the web, carry off the loot and finding a new slice of paradise in this world where he could call Jim his husband.

 

How silly of him! Jim would laugh if he heard all of this.

 

But maybe he could whisk Jim off on a holiday and they could have a serious discussion around this and then….

 

He stopped at the mouth of the alley way where he had left the motorcycle. The machine wasn’t there.

 

“What the fuck,” his temper short-circuited, “How dare someone steal my bike? Sebastian Moran’s bike.” If they knew who he was and what he was capable of they wouldn’t bloody dare but his bike didn’t have that threat printed on it so…..he had to go looking for it now.

 

Just his cursed rotten luck.

 

“Excuse me,” a young lass said, “By any chance were you the one who left the motorcycle there? A Harley?”

 

“Yes miss,” Sebastian said, noticing how she looked fairly enamored by him and his imposing frame, “If you can tell me where they’ve taken it I might give you a pillion ride on it.”

 

She smiled shyly, “Local gang. They will be at this place, wait, let me draw it out for you. I hate to see people getting robbed in broad daylight. The cops here are totally worthless, aren’t they?”

 

“Sometimes.”

 

“Well, here you go.”

 

Sebastian took the small scrap of paper, with the rudimentary little map drawn by a shaky hand and thanked her. He was quite preoccupied still, otherwise he would have noticed that she literally took off like the wind the moment his back was turned, the promise of a pillion ride totally forgotten. He walked briskly for the six minutes that it took to reach the stipulated spot where he noticed his motorcycle standing, propped up against the wall of a dingy and narrow lane. Only when he had come to a complete stop next to his much-loved machine did he have a hunch that something was not right. The place seemed too quiet and too deserted for a busy Tuesday in London.

 

Deserted except for a man walking towards him.

 

A lightbulb clicked in Sebastian’s brain. The same man he had knocked into on Baker Street. Yes, the very same man. Then he remembered more. His motorcycle gone, the girl conveniently available to direct him to this spot, Mycroft’s surveillance around Sherlock’s flat and the detective warning him about it…..fuck, shit, he had allowed himself to be conned so easily. Oh what a moron he had been to be too fucking distracted……

 

“Colonel Moran,” the man smiled sinisterly.

 

“Touch me and you die painfully,” Sebastian growled, rising to his full height.

 

“No, touch ME and your Jimmy dies painfully,” came the bone-chilling reply.

 

More footsteps behind him and he realized without even turning around that he had company. Many more of them were hiding in the nooks and corners of this place, all of whom had been lying in wait for him. This was a carefully orchestrated plot by someone who knew Jim and him rather well. He recognized one of the men who formed a circle around him, a man he had seen on the luxury yacht where he had met Mycroft fucking Holmes.

 

“Why should I believe you?” He asked, his voice steady despite the feeling of misgiving inside. He hoped his lover was all right. Only hours ago he was kissing him and promising him to be back by noon and suddenly he was being told the man he loved could die.

 

“Oh we are not here to convince you soldier,” the same man said, “This isn’t a negotiation. This is where you do exactly as we ask or we kick your rear into the next century.”

 

“The hell I will,” Sebastian shouted and the next moment the other man hit the wall and slumped to the ground as the tall sniper lifted him with one arm and punched him on the jaw with the other. The others swarmed him but he had them licking dust in no time, folding up like a pack of cards.

 

He was more than enough for all nine of them till he was hit on the neck by something. He pulled out the small hard narrow thing with a snarl. It was a dart. He had seen ones like these while being trained on armed combat and guerrilla warfare. These darts had poisoned or medicated ends which could be lethal enough to kill or potent enough to knock out a full-grown man for several hours.

 

Abrupt darkness swirled around the now wobbly blond man and he fell down sideways on to the ground a few seconds later, a soft hiss of ‘Jim’ leaving him as his consciousness rapidly faded.

 

***

 

When he came to, he found everything he had on him still there, aside from his watch, a tracking device and his two cell phones. Clueless about where he was and how long he had been out, he sat up and realized he was lying on a thick rug on the floor, in a room he had never seen before. He looked around the fairly large room, a huge and comfortable bed occupying the centre while a sofa set and a coffee table took up the space on one side. The other side had a desk and chair, a bean bag, a chest of drawers and a dresser with an ornate mirror on it. There was also a walk-in closet and an en-suite bathroom that had a tub and a shower stall. Every possible amenity one needed to stay comfortable had been provided in that room and bathroom.

 

At first it all seemed like a bad joke being played on him. But he had spent enough time in the world of crime to know he was now a ‘101 hostage’, in other words an important hostage who would be kept in comfort but in strict confinement, with little contact with any human, even his own abductor.

 

He padded around the room, trying to hold on to his nerve. The doors and windows had steel shutters on them, all of them closed shut and bolted with built-in locks. Since the room was air-conditioned and climate controlled, the closed doors and windows didn’t matter much, except that they made Seb feel claustrophobic and very badly trapped. He couldn’t see a thing of what was going on outside the confines of that room and that in itself was far more worrisome than the fact that he had been kidnapped. At the same time thoughts of Jim came to him and hit him full force. What would happen to Jim? His Jimmy! The poor little thing would be waiting for him….

 

He paced round and round and drank some of the water that had been provided. He was too tense to be hungry but he could feel his stomach growling mildly. Based on that he deduced that some time must have definitely passed between that moment in the alley and his situation in the room now. Perhaps about eight to ten hours or so. Was he still in London? Or was this a suburb?

 

Shit….this was not good.

 

After two hours he gave up and hammered on the door, yelling at someone, anyone, to stop being a coward and show their face. As he had almost expected, nobody answered him.

 

After a few more hours had passed, he shouted, “If you plan to starve me then you’re spending way too much on this room and all the fuckshit that comes with it.”

 

He was sure he was being watched, heard, and even though it was creepy his nerves hadn’t failed because of that. He was a soldier, a tough bird, he would see himself through this. Sooner or later he would find a way out, to freedom, to Jim.

 

Suddenly he heard the metallic clang of a shutter opening but before he could even spot where it came from, he heard it close again. In the next three and half minutes Sebastian figured out what that exactly was and how a plate of pasta, some crusty bread, two bottles of water and a glass of wine had appeared suddenly on a countertop attached to the wall. As he knocked on the wall above the countertop he found it to be hollow. So there was a small chute there, built into the structure, and just like the laundry or room service chutes in luxury hotels this was being used to send things to him without someone having to physically intrude into his space. The metallic sounds were that of the chute door opening and closing.

 

He ate hungrily, not allowing his anger to surface and toss the food away. He needed his strength. For all he knew this could be an endurance test. Someone wanted to see if he would break soon or withstand this much longer than a man possibly could.

 

As he lay in bed he also wondered if this was another test, from Jim.

 

But no, in the last three and half months things had changed rapidly between them. Jim trusted him now, even loved him in his wicked, sick, twisted way. Sebastian was cock-sure that he had no reason to be tested and certified all over again by Jim Moriarty.

 

But then the all-important question came back to haunt him. If this was not a test from his employer then who was doing this, who was behind it all? From the looks of it, it seemed that the arrangement was elaborate and whoever had planned this did spend a lot of time and money on his abduction and keep. Even the wine provided to him was fine and full bodied. Why would anyone invest so much on him unless….unless they were….oh no……unless they were trying to get to Jim through him?

 

He fell asleep and kept dreaming he was trying to escape. When he woke up several hours later he didn’t feel like he had slept at all.

 

Breakfast had been served to him, toast and poached eggs, sunny side up, bacon and sausages, tea and juice, even some chopped fruit and yoghurt. Unlike the dinner which he had dealt with rather hungrily and happily, he left his breakfast mostly untouched. He wasn’t even hungry and this wasn’t even funny or intriguing anymore. This was becoming downright annoying. And he was beginning to get worried sick about Jim.

 

Jim didn’t even know how to cook, he had no idea which suits of his were sent for laundry, he had no idea about the paperwork at his legit company or the newest aides whom Seb had recruited for sniper jobs across the world. Heck, the little freak didn’t even sleep well unless Sebastian held him in his arms at night. Who would look after him? What would become of his Jim?

 

***

 

After the first phase when he felt a little out of it, a streak of impatience running through him as he tried to put two and two together, and when he still thought this was some crude and practical joke playing on him, came the second and more turbulent phase.

 

Anger. Pure, sheer, intense, red hot anger. Anger that made his ears burn and his skin blister, rage that made his veins near explode and his brain fry crisp. Sebastian found himself yelling at the walls and demanding answers. “Why the fuck am I here, what do you want with me, you sadistic arse holes, getting off on my misery aren’t ya? If you wanna kill me then do it now, here, look at this, my middle finger is what you’ll get for any attempt on my life. I was a soldier, if you think I will curl up and weep because I am scared to die then you have a nasty surprise coming your way you no good, sick fuck, you motherfucker you…..”

 

When no answers came he angrily trashed the room. He broke things and scattered things, ripped things off the bed and wall and soiled all the walls with the toilet items he had been provided. He just wanted to vandalize everything, every single thing, he wanted to see things broken and battered just like his soul was, and with every sound of crashing things and things breaking into shards, a part of him felt a little calmer than before. But the downside was that soon there was nothing left in the room to trash and he suddenly felt empty and exhausted. Or was it the sweet-smelling gas coming out if the air conditioning vents.

 

He was out in the next few minutes.

 

When he came to he found himself in the same room but it had been fully restored. The walls were once again immaculately painted, the drapes were up, the sink in the bathroom had been replaced and didn’t have the crack he had managed to give it, every broken furniture had been replaced and even the décor had been fully reinstated, from the rug to the wallpaper to the vases and statues.

 

A pain in his arm and a telling mark there told him he had been kept sedated for two or three days at least and a drip had been attached to his arm. His throat felt raw and achy, which meant he had been tube fed some liquids as well.

 

Great! Just great! Much a do about nothing!

 

He decided to be calm and wait it out. But his calmness lasted a grand total of maybe a week or so. One fine morning, when he realized he must have been kept here for more than a month now, he lost it all over again. But this time they reacted quickly, or maybe they didn’t want to go through the entire effort and cost of restoring the room again, because the sweet-smelling gas poured in like a cloud and Seb was knocked out in seconds.

 

***

 

The next phase was one of begging, whimpering and crying. Yes, crying, even for a soldier like him there was a breaking point. He wasn’t worried about himself but about Jim. Night after night nightmares haunted him and he though the worst might happen to the man he loved. If not today, then tomorrow. If not this week, then next week. Jim would crumble sooner or later. He had clearly stated to Sebastian that he wouldn’t be able to bear one more abandonment in this life and now Sebastian himself had abandoned him.

 

Maybe not willingly, but how likely was Jim to know and accept that? The broken little unhinged man was not the strongest when it came to controlling his emotions and impulses.

 

“Please let me go, pleasepleaseplease let me go, what the hell do you want,” he cried out several times a day, “How is it going to help you if you keep me here against my wishes, locked away like this, how the fuck is this serving a purpose? Listen, if it’s me you’re after then at least let me talk to my Jim once, just once, tell him I didn’t abandon him.” He paused and realized, much to his horror, that he had let the cat out of the bag by calling out his connection with Jim and quickly added something as a ‘damage-control’ statement. “Not that he cares about me and wouldn’t do a thing to help, but out of loyalty I would wish for him to know I didn’t run off.”

 

Of course he got no answers and ended up yelling his throat raw.

 

Then, one day or night or whatever time it was, he couldn’t control the madness any longer. It had probably been several months now and he missed Jim so terribly that every moment without him hurt. Then it had occurred to him that probably someone was blackmailing Jim over him, by using his abduction as a way to get the criminal mastermind to work for them, maybe it was Mycroft himself, perhaps some rival gangster, it could even be Sherlock.

 

No, he wasn’t going to let them win. Jim wouldn’t suffer due to him. He was going to end his life now, right now. What was left of it anyways? Without Jim, he was as good as a dead man, a vegetable, a useless piece of crap all alone in this cruel, harsh, meaningless world.

 

He tried to look for ways and means to kill himself but the room hadn’t been equipped with anything remotely close to a weapon, not even a butter knife, not even over the counter drugs. Then his eyes fell on the mirror mounted on the dressing table and an idea struck him. Head injuries, sharp glass shards, cut the prominent vein on the wrist and….job done! He smashed his head against the mirror and collapsed. Even as pain exploded through him and he tasted the copper of blood trickling down on his lips, he still managed to grad a sharp shard and cut open his right wrist. The last thing he heard was a siren going off to possibly alert the people who watched over him.

 

He woke up days later to find himself sore, still in some pain, but thoroughly patched up and in no possible danger anymore. The aftertaste in his mouth and the needle pricks on his skin said that he had been given antibiotics and thorough medical care. He was now in a smaller room, with fewer amenities, no mirrors or anything heavy that could be used to delve a blow. On top of that the walls were padded and no way could he try any self-harm again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the BBC verse Sherlock episodes begin and explains a mad, suicidal and cruel Jim who assumes his Tiger is dead and Sherlock was responsible. Clue - People dying? That's what people dooooo! Clue 2 - I will burn the 'heart' out of you


	28. Ghost from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's captor reveals himself while Jim's suicidal descent into madness is revealed.

Sebastian had stopped counting or trying to track days and nights. Even then, his conscious and still rational mind told him it was almost a year since he had been brought in. A whole year since he had seen Jim the last time.

 

Oh God Jim, his Jim, the man he loved so much it ached all over to think about him nowadays. _Was Jim even alive? Who was looking after him? Had he gone back to Sherlock or stepped into Mycroft’s trap? Was he even eating properly?_

 

Solitary confinement couldn’t hurt him much. He was happy enough just to be by himself. If the other party was thinking this form of torture would break him then he was determined not to give them the satisfaction of winning there. But the two and half years with Jim had changed his other perspectives on life and he wasn’t as heartless and reckless as before. Today he didn’t care how incredibly dull and suffocating his days and nights were but he did care about how Jim spent his days and nights, if he cried himself to sleep and forgot to eat his meals. He did care about Jim, he cared a lot. And caring hurt more than any blows, injuries, abduction or confinement could.

 

Sometimes he cried a little. It was only when his heart was about to explode from sadness that his tears spilled out.

 

He had been given chalk instead of a pencil or pen and he used that to draw a likeness of Jim on the blackboard. For hours he looked at his crude, rudimentary and almost funny drawing of the criminal and suddenly his past would come alive in his mind again, scenes replaying from his time with Jim and showering him with a little island-like respite of happiness amidst the black sea of misery he had been steeped into.

 

He spoke to the man for hours, keeping his voice a low mumble, rambling on and on about how his days were, what he thought about stars and constellations, about new theories of human behavior and social sciences, everything apart from his feelings towards the man. That part was very private to him and not for others to record and laugh over. Worse than that, it could compromise Jim. Jim could be made to do things by his abductors, simply because they held Sebastian in their custody.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he would be able to keep up the façade though and feared that his breaking point might come one day soon. Whoever had kept him this way surely had a purpose on his mind and his prayers were always targeted in only one chain of thought.

 

_//Dear God, let them reach their goals before my dams break or before Jim ends up being broken in some way//_

 

He had periods of inactivity where he simply lay in one spot and brooded all day, to periods of hyperactivity where he did five hundred pushups, ran around the room in circles and did head and handstands till he passed out from the sheer exhaustion of working out too much.

 

Days faded into nights, nights blended into days and nothing changed for Jim’s lieutenant.

 

He waited and waited till he even ended up dreaming about waiting. He hoped for closure, a conclusion, or even an end to this, he was okay if that came with death. As long as Jim benefitted from his demise. Jim, his sweet and beloved Jim, if only he could see him one more time, just once…..

 

Till a day came when this period of torment ended rather unexpectedly.

 

***

 

Sebastian had spent three sleepless nights, reducing himself to the position of a zombie almost, before he had fallen into a heavy slumber. For a change it was a welcome slumber, dream free and free of those tormented imagery of a suffering, helpless, crying and depressed Jim having one of his low moments. He had no idea how long he was out of it but when he woke up, he was hammered with the sensations of a change in place and scenario, where he was no longer held in the padded cell where he had been captive for more than twelve long and agonizing months, but in a normal room where he could see sunlight, yes sunlight, possibly after a whole year.

 

He leapt out of bed and stood on his feet, feeling incredibly well-rested and a tad bit hungry and very thirsty. The first thing he did was grab a two-liter bottle of water kept next to him and drain it in several huge gulps.

 

Then he realized he was in a plush and spacious room, possibly a living room in some house, with mostly French windows and the whole place was flooded with sunlight. Thankfully and almost greedily he stretched out his arms and face into the sunbeams, feeling reborn, feeling normal after many months. Slowly it occurred to him that he was not sleeping in a bed but on a large and comfortable couch and now he had the option of standing before a window and actually seeing the world, the city, wherever he was, with his own eyes. For real this time, not just memories summoned from the past but a real peek into the world.

 

He rushed forward and stood there, staring wide eyed at the streets which were almost thirty floors below, tiny little people and cars moving about, the faint noises of traffic and chatter. Oh God that felt so good!

 

He opened one of the windows and let the natural breeze hit his face and nostrils. Damn, that felt good. He felt like a free man again.

 

_Free man? No wait, that couldn’t be. If he had been brought here, to this unfamiliar place, then there had to be a purpose behind it._

 

But first, he had to use the toilet. Fortunately for him, as he strode down a hallway, he did find a bathroom there. He quickly took a piss and used the toothpaste next to the sink to rinse out the woolly taste in his mouth. He splashed water on his face and wiped himself down with a towel, taking deep breaths as he readied and steadied himself for what was to happen next.

 

That ‘next thing to happen’, he found out, was waiting for him as he entered the same living room he had woken up in.

 

A man was sitting there. Tall but not as tall as him, a bit on the thin side, thinning hairs and granny glasses, maybe around age forty-five, clad in an expensive and slightly showy Armani suit. He looked vaguely familiar but Sebastian was sure he had never met or spoken to him before. Then why did he feel a sense of déjà vu?

 

“I suppose you want to know who I am Colonel Moran,” the man spoke in a thin voice and once again Sebastian remembered having heard him before, the sense of déjà vu deepened, “I think you also want to know how you ended up here, how you got abducted and for what purpose, perhaps you also want to know what is to become of you now. Well, let me begin by stating who I am but before I reveal my identity completely, let me assure you that my men are very close, closer than you think, and if you as much as attempt one aggressive or violent move against me, you will never see your beloved James Moriarty Junior again.”

 

“Jim….”

 

“Oh so he is the beloved then, right?”

 

“Wrong. He was my boss.”

 

“Is that so? Then why does he seem to have lost it ever since he lost you?”

 

“What? What the fuck…”

 

“Colonel I suggest you don’t swear and curse because my education prevents me from tolerating such despicable behavior.”

 

“You spoke about Jim….”

 

“Do you want to meet Jim?”

 

Sebastian couldn’t deny himself any longer. He almost shook with excitement as he nodded hard enough for his head to nearly come off. “I will take that as a yes,” the other man picked up a remote and gestured for the sniper to take a seat on another couch, “Wish granted.”

 

The large screen TV came to life and a sound between a relieved exhale and a choked cry of longing left Sebastian’s throat as he watched video footage of a Westwood clad Jim by a poolside, speaking in a sing-song voice, exaggerated expressions and a mad look in his eyes telling Sebastian clearly that he was not the Jim he knew. In business situations Jim never acted like this. Hell, Jim never allowed his face to be shown to anyone. He liked to be the voice on the phone who couldn’t be retraced in any possible way. And here he was, out in the open and who was he threatening….

 

Oh God no. _That was a John Watson with a semtex vest around him, cowering, while Sherlock stood pointing a gun at Jim._

 

Sebastian’s steady nerves faltered and he crawled closer to the screen, literally pressing his nose to it as he watched the love of his life make sly digs at Sherlock who stoically responded, not giving away any of their past history. There came a point where Sherlock stated ‘People have been dying’ and Jim’s response was a shrill, almost manic ‘That’s what people dooooooo’.

 

“He says that a lot,” his host/captor said with a snort, “Ever since he thought you had died.”

 

The words hit Sebastian like bullets. Jim thought he was dead! How did they convince him? Oh moron-moron-moron! Of course, Jim would be convinced! Sebastian had been missing without a trace for so long that it was very logical for Jim to think he had been put down and buried or sunk in a lake somewhere. So that’s why his baby was so shaken, so changed, so careless and utterly suicidal. Was Jim trying to self-destruct like this, by exposing himself and daring the likes of Mycroft Holmes to take him on? This was a seriously suicidal move, threatening Sherlock so openly and actually making threats like ‘I will burn the heart out of you’. Then he heard Jim’s phone ring and goose bumps rose on his flesh.

 

_‘Staying Alive’._

 

Since when had he started using this ringtone? Sebastian remembered it used to be ‘Have a Nice Day’. Though the song wasn’t about anything so polite as the actual ‘have a nice day’ greeting, it wasn’t anything despair-filled either.

 

His poor baby!

 

Slowly more images were shown to him and he began to shiver as tears ran down his cheeks. Jim getting crazier, almost lunatic like, issuing threats, obsessing over destroying Sherlock, then Jim in Mycroft’s custody, being tortured and interrogated, kept starved and dehydrated, Jim doing something completely hysterical like shouting and yelling his accusations towards Sherlock openly, indulging in completely self-ruinous moves such as waltzing his way towards stealing the crown jewels.

 

The screen froze on a close-up of Jim and when the man took off his thick sunglasses, Sebastian gasped and fell back on his butt.

 

_Jim’s eyes looked so dead._

 

“He has been looking for you, or rather, should I say he was looking for you till we made him believe you were gone. Made it easy on the likes of Mycroft Holmes, who knows he won’t have to do anything to destroy Moriarty now. Moriarty will gladly do that job on his own.”

 

“You son of a whoreson bitch!”

 

“Careful now, careful.”

 

“Fuck you, you arse hole….”

 

“My name is Damien Clifton.”

 

Sebastian stared at him, still angry and upset but also a bit confused. He had heard a similar name somewhere but he couldn’t quite place it. Was it in school? Was it someone he knew from the publishing house he was tied to? Was it from the underbelly of London’s criminal world, one he had become so intimately familiar with as he worked with Jim Moriarty.

 

“I suppose you are struggling to put the pieces together eh Colonel?” The man spoke no longer in a mocking, cold tone but in a vicious and somewhat scorpion like manner, as if he was ready to strike Seb fatally, “If my name doesn’t sound familiar to you then maybe my last name, my family name will. Just a teensy-weensy bit? Or are you so cruel that you don’t even remember the faces you killed, even unfairly, just because they called you out for the bloody faggot that you always were! Does the name Daniel Clifton ring a bell, ding-dong-ding-dong, Daniel Clifton, DANIEL ELWIN CLIFTON, that would be Lieutenant Colonel Clifton who you sprayed with bullets years ago???”

 

Those words hit Seb like thunderbolts and it all came together in his head.

 

So this wasn’t Mycroft. And this wasn’t any other criminal who had a bone to pick with Jim.

 

This was personal vendetta directed towards him. His past actions had caught up with him. But his bad karma, no matter how much he justified the killing, was now impacting the man he loved. He was no longer Jim’s protector, he was now exactly the opposite to that, in his current compromised situation he was harmful for Jim. He had taught Jim to love and trust again and then disappeared on him, driving him back to the insanity that could very well make him take his own life.

 

_Shit!_

 

“You remember huh?”

 

Clifton’s snarl sounded ridiculous, especially in that thin and nasal tone. But Sebastian knew better than to underestimate the man. He needed to act and he needed to act with prudence and calm, not go down with all guns blazing. _That would be a very stupid move_. What he needed right now was data, his position, some coordinates of Jim and Sherlock, he had to find a way to put all the information together and save Jim.

 

“Clifton, how did you do this and why now?”

 

His curiosity and subdued voice pacified the other man and Damien Clifton reveled in his moment of victory. “Oh well, I could have hired someone to do this for me but I decided against it. If it was anyone known, Moriarty would find out and skin me alive.”

 

At that, Sebastian suppressed a smile. This man sure knew Jim’s wrath very well.

 

“So I built up a team of men to do this, all of them from diverse fields, some were small time gangsters while others were army knock-outs like you, disgraced security officers and rogue martial artists looking to make quick bucks. It took me five years to build this army that nobody knew of, hence you didn’t get abducted sooner. Or you would have been there long ago. Now, it seems I hit the jackpot because no sooner than I kidnapped you, I learned that Jim Moriarty was baying for blood because his bodyguard was missing.”

 

He huffed out a sly chuckle as he took out a handkerchief from his pocket, “Now who the hell misses a bodyguard so much?”

 

Sebastian’s heart shrank a bit in his chest. Somewhere in the cross-fire between his past and the ghost that had emerged from it, his little darling had gotten caught and entrapped. And now this man was hell-bent on taking some perverse pleasure out of that unexpected fact. “You must have a great faggotty arse to have seduced a man like Moriarty,” Clifton now looked like a ghoul and Sebastian identified his déjà vu moment. This was exactly how Daniel Clifton looked when Sebastian had confronted him about the sex tape and mean, preposterous way he was defaming and vilifying Seb and his then-lover. For a moment Sebastian had to fight with himself to not strangle this man with his bare hands.

 

Sebastian stayed on the floor but moved away from the screen towards the low table which separated him and Clifton. He crouched as the vengeful man spat out the next words.

 

“Your poor darling has taken on the head of MI5 and the great detective Holmes. Soon he will meet his end and I want you to have a grandstand view of it. I could have killed you anytime in the past year or let you easily die on those occasions you tried to take your life, but I didn’t. Because a harsher punishment awaits you. I want you to feel how I felt, how my poor mamma felt, when my brother died. He didn’t die in glory, he died by your hand.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Seb said in a small voice, “I was driven mad by fear of public humiliation…”

 

“Did you say sorry?”

 

“Yes, I am very sorry. I regret doing what I did. Please forgive me. Let me speak to Jim once.”

 

“Whatcha saying? I can’t hear.” Clifton put his hand behind his ear, as if straining to hear the apology being offered. Sebastian didn’t even think twice. He began to grovel in the earnest now. “Please, let me call Jim and tell him I am alive. Let him know Sherlock didn’t kill me, neither did Mycroft. I will do anything to speak to Jim once again, I’ll be your dog, I’ll be your slave, let me speak to Jim once so he knows I am alive and not too far away, in Liverpool.”

 

“Oh you saw this is Liverpool?”

 

“Hard to miss it. I know this city.”

 

“Yeah, no brainer there,” Clifton spoke in a snarky tone, “But this apology isn’t enough. Tomorrow your Jim will try to kill Sherlock and I am sure Mycroft Holmes will ensure he dies as well. Or maybe Jim will slit his own throat once he has taken revenge on Sherlock, for something that clueless detective didn’t even do. After that, you will be taken care of, you will drown in the Thames bound and gagged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point the alternate universe collides with our own and we see why Jim was what he was towards Sherlock. He thought Sherlock had killed Seb so he was so hell-bent on killing or hurting John. He didn't care about consequences hence he even showed his face, which he would have never done before.


	29. An unlikely rescuer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian tricks his abductor and asks for help from someone he hates, but also trusts!

Sebastian felt a small sense of victory inside as he discreetly ended the call. Unseen by Damien, who was so caught up with his own angst and boastful of his victory, that he hadn’t noticed that his phone had fallen out of his pocket and on to the shelf underneath the coffee table while he was taking out his handkerchief. Seb had started spewing out profound apologies to distract the gloating man, to keep him trapped in his bloated feelings of victory, so he could grab the phone and make one call from it.

 

He had chosen Sherlock’s number and, if Sebastian was lucky, the detective would have heard most of the talk that happened later and manage to put two and two together. He was relying on the deductions of his rival, a man he had never liked and always considered a threat. But he knew this was his best chance to get out of this hell hole. He could have called Jim but he didn’t trust the madman lover of his to act in the most prudent way. Sherlock was, even though it shocked him deeply inside, a better ray of hope at this point.

 

He felt terrible! The more he remembered those images he’d seen, the voice he’d heard, the more his skin crawled and a nervous knot tightened inside his stomach. Jim, poor Jim, poor lonely Jim, alone and desperate to go down in a blaze of glory, at war with the world and with his inner demons. How long would he hold out? Not much, if what he saw on the screen was anything to go by. The man had feared abandonment, having suffered from that time and again earlier, and Sebastian had brought him back to square one. A whole year, no traces of Sebastian, rumors floating that he was killed, Jim must have endured a horrid time.

 

“Get up,” Damien kicked him on the side, “You will stay in the next room for a few more days. If you try to escape, remember, we will not shoot you but Jim Moriarty.”

 

“Moriarty isn’t an easy man to kill,” Sebastian replied.

 

“Isn’t he?” Damien’s tone was mocking, “You still underestimate me, is it?”

 

“Your battle is with me, why don’t you kill me instead?”

 

“That would be no fun. I want you to stay alive and suffer.”

 

He was pushed into a bedroom with barred windows and a sliding steel door covering the original door, for added security. “No need to look for ways to escape,” Damien said with a harsh laughter as he watched Sebastian’s eyes scan the usual routes, “Even if by superhuman effort to unbar the windows or break through the steel door, there will be armed men waiting to put a few bullets in your legs.”

 

The door slammed.

 

Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed. It was one thing to not know where he was and who was doing this, it at least gave him an excuse to justify his inaction. But it was another thing to know it all and still be helpless and useless like this. His only way out now was if Sherlock found out where he was and managed to reach him. But what if the detective didn’t even care what happened to him? What if he still wanted Jim for himself?

 

***

 

Two days passed and Sebastian began to give up hope. He was kept confined to that room and much as he searched for ways to escape, he saw none. He didn’t want to attack those who came in with his food or essentials because of the threat Damien Clifton had issued.

 

In any other situation, the earlier Sebastian would have barreled his way out, killing people left, right and center in his path. But he feared for Jim now. He had no idea if Jim had a bodyguard to look after him anymore. He had no idea if Jim even listened to anyone around him. In his current disturbed state, he could be an easy target for a powerful enemy and Damien Clifton was powerful. Seb was making no mistakes on that. A man who could keep him contained for a year was no easy force to reckon with.

 

Maybe he had overestimated Sherlock’s intelligence or perhaps overestimated his sense of fairness and compassion. But he couldn’t blame the man really. Sherlock had chosen a side in this battle, the side of the law and the citizens. Unlike Mycroft, he could be bold and brash when needed since he had no authorities to answer to. However, the willingness to go that extra mile, to be bold and fearless in rescuing Sebastian, entirely lay on Sherlock’s sense of judgment. It all depended on whether the great detective considered him an important life to save. Correction, if the detective considered Jim an important life to save…..and then give him away to Sebastian again.

 

No, that didn’t need courage, that needed selflessness. He had seen it in Sherlock’s eyes, that man still hoped for Jim to see reason and cross over to his side. He still harbored illusions of a transformed, redeemed criminal mastermind who he could keep by his side.

 

Bringing Sebastian back meant giving up Jim. Why would Sherlock do that?

 

Seb lay down on the bed and thought about his life, his past, his actions and the possible repercussions of those actions. He had killed without mercy, destroyed some people, broken quite a few hearts. A little payback was maybe long overdue.

 

Panic rose up his system and he sat up abruptly, eyes on a painting hanging in the corner of the room. It was an oil painting of baby Jesus in His mother’s lap. Sebastian held his breath and stared, his fingers trembling slightly.

 

He had little hope of being forgiven. He wasn’t even in a position to ask for forgiveness for himself. He didn’t feel he deserved it.

 

But…..but he could ask for Jim. Nothing stopped him from praying for Jim.

 

Kneeling by the side of the bed, facing the painting with his hands clasped together, he began to pray fervently.

 

“Dear God, I accept whatever is written in my fate. But please rescue Jim from his madness, his loneliness, give him a reason to live, forgive him for what he has done because deep down he is a troubled, lonely, disturbed man who can’t control his actions and impulses. It’s his disability in a way. He has sinned but then so have many others. Why should the hand that pulls the trigger or holds the gun be punished when their orders come from above? And why should the one to give the orders be punished when someone else is paying him to do it for them. Let Jim not be the fall guy in all this, please protect him, please let him be safe. If it’s a life you need to take, I am right here. I won’t even cry out. Please God…..”

 

The door crashed open.

 

Sebastian jumped up. He knew instantly that this wasn’t a usual entry into the room but a break-in. He saw the sliding door was wide open. But the inner door, which was made of thick wood, had not been unlocked and the knob on it hadn’t even been touched. The entire thing had been kicked down and was now hanging loosely from its hinges, the biggest symbol of forced entry. Subsequent shouts, yells and the sounds of two shots going off nearby confirmed his suspicions and he was alert immediately. He had no reason to celebrate or feel relieved yet. The forces behind this break-in and commotion could be more potent and threatening than Clifton’s men and their leader could be anyone ranging from an African drug-lord to an espionage agent from the Middle East. He readied himself in the combat position, waiting for a face-off with the first person to enter the room.

 

Moments later two cops rushed in.

 

“Freeze,” one of them said.

 

“Hey I am being held captive here, don’t point that at me,” Sebastian snarled.

 

A third person entered the room and Sebastian finally relaxed.

 

“Took a long vacation Sebastian,” Sherlock looked at him with a smirk, “Nice trick with that phone call.”

 

***

 

“What took you so long man?” Sebastian asked as they left the apartment and made their way downstairs.

 

Sherlock made a face, “In case you don’t know, your boyfriend has made my life hell over the past year. He thinks I have killed you and buried you somewhere in a lake or a rubbish heap or something.”

 

“No,” Sebastian answered, “Someone else did. Let me tell you the whole story which I got to know only two day ago.” He narrated the whole incident as they got into the elevator and all the way to the car that was waiting for them. Sherlock was clearly used to stressful situations and sudden and volatile discoveries because he kept a straight face, right up to the point where Sebastian revealed why Damien Clifton had done what he had done. At that, even the steely-nerved detective looked taken aback.

 

“Jesus Christ.”

 

“Yeah. It was not about Jim. It was about me.”

 

“And here we were thinking it was one of Jim’s enemies. We rounded them all up, one by one, but nobody seemed to have a clue about you.”

 

Sebastian’s shocked look made Sherlock smirk again, a smirk which the sniper would have gladly wiped off that handsome face with a huge punch but right now he had other things to worry about. “I am not doing this for you,” the curly haired man explained with a slight disdainful look, “I might be on the side of angels, as Jim likes to taunt me often, but do not mistake for even a moment that I am one of them. Sometimes it takes a demon to handle another demon. So, to get back to the point, my brother and I want nothing more than to take down Moriarty’s web. For that we need Jim to step aside or else we can’t touch it. Without his cooperation, we can’t even trace its roots.”

 

It was Sebastian’s turn to smirk now.

 

“Even to destroy Jim Moriarty you need Jim Moriarty?”

 

“Whatever. Anything that gets the job done.”

 

“And now I am your pawn? Did I just walk myself into a trap?”

 

Sherlock gave him a strange look, “Have you still not got it yet?”

 

Sebastian frowned as they sat inside the car, “No, educate me Mr. Holmes.”

 

“I am doing this for Jim,” the detective shot him an arrow straight glare, his expression not faltering even a bit, “He’s worsened, even by his own standards. He has become some sort of a loose canon in the past year. He has been baiting Mycroft too often, he literally allowed Mycroft to keep him under preventive custody for six weeks, he needled me publicly and worst of all, showed the world his face. That was quite unlike him, especially after years of anonymity. This cost him his legit company and from what I know, he has sent off most of his closest aides out of the country to protect them.”

 

Sherlock paused, “It doesn’t take a great mind to deduce which path he is on.”

 

“Yeah,” Sebastian replied, “Going down in a blaze of glory.”

 

“What glory is he going to get by killing me? I loved him for Christ’s sake.”

 

“What are you getting at Sherlock?” Sebastian asked sternly. He might have lived like a caged animal for a year, he might have been through stuff that could break most men, but he wasn’t even bent yet. He would do anything to protect his Jim, he wanted Sherlock to know that very well.

 

“Simple,” Sherlock’s voice was ice, a very well-practiced ice, “You know now, you know better than anyone else that your past comes back to bite you. Maybe you had other redeeming qualities, karma, something on your side that allowed you self-preservation but not everyone is so lucky. The path Jim is treading on, if he doesn’t switch lanes soon enough he will end up in one of those graves in London. An unmarked and unnamed grave. Mycroft doesn’t have a soft corner for him like I do. And even if Mycroft doesn’t get to him, his own madness will.”

 

“Is this a tradeoff?”

 

“Sort of. You could have the perfect life with Jim if you wish. I am sure you guys have your money stashed somewhere and I am admitting to the fact that neither MI5 nor MI6 or any other international anti-crime cell has any idea where it is. We don’t even want to know. The chances lies in front of you, clear as crystal, waiting for you to grab it with both hands. Take the money, take the man and go, leave, never come back here. After this even I won’t be able to help because matters are fast going beyond my hands. Jim has created such a situation for me that I have become public enemy No. 1 and perhaps the most vilified man in London.”

 

“Good Lord, what did he do?”

 

Sherlock had barely opened his mouth when Sebastian noticed something flashing in the distance and grabbed the detective, pulling him downwards. In a split second the glass pane of the window on Sherlock’s side shattered and shards of glass flew everywhere.

 

“Fuck what was that?”

 

“That is Damien Clifton.”

 

“He will be brought down, he just showed us where he is….”

 

“No Sherlock, this is something I have to do and I will do it.”

 

“No, I am supposed to keep you in custody till….”

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

Sherlock looked into those blue eyes and for a moment he seemed to understand. But that moment passed and he said, “No.”

 

“Then I am sorry about this.”

 

Before Sherlock knew what was going on, Sebastian expertly squeezed his windpipe till he passed out from the lack of oxygen. “Sorry man,” the blonde said, “But I had to do what I had to do.”

 

***

 

Clifton was boiling with rage. He had realized that some mistake from his side had brought the cops in and it was his over-confidence which had let the side down. In his eagerness to show his power to his brother’s killer, he had ended up compromising the plan that he had so painstakingly built up over years and executed to perfection over the past twelve months.

 

And now he had missed killing Sherlock fucking Holmes, who had come to Sebastian’s rescue like a brave knight.

 

But he wasn’t going to give up. True, he had suffered a setback but he had a plan B. His men were caught and his hideouts and several properties seized but he wasn’t ruined yet. He had made arrangements to leave the country and he planned to regroup and recuperate and launch an attack on that confounded Colonel Moran. The vow he had taken while he dropped fresh earth on his poor brother’s grave was not going to go waste. He would do everything possible to make Moran’s life utterly miserable, miserable and wretched to the point where the man himself would beg for death. That was when he planned to kill him and then piss over his corpse.

 

He composed himself and began to leave his apartment which was in the building opposite from where he had held Sebastian, when a hard hand grabbed him by the shoulder and swerved him around.

 

“YOU!”

 

“Me,” Sebastian said calmly.

 

Clifton backed off a bit, “How-How did you know?”

 

“You may have perfected your sniper skills but don’t forget that was my bread and butter. And one of the first rules of sniper work is never to give your position away and never to do a hit close to your base. You made it pretty easy for me Clifton.”

 

Clifton raised a handgun and pointed it right between Sebastian’s eyes. “And you made it easy for me to kill you.”

 

Sebastian grabbed the gun and pressed the nozzle right on to his forehead, “Then go ahead and shoot.”

 

Clifton’s eyes widened.

 

“It’s one thing to kill from a distance, another thing to shoot at point blank range. Only a few can master the nerves to do something like this. When you can smell the other man, feel the warmth of their bodies, hear them breathing, and still be able to pull the trigger. Can you really do that Clifton? No, not to my calculations, because at the end of the day you are as much of a coward as your brother was.”

 

“I am warning you Moran….”

 

“Your brother was responsible for my friend’s death. What I did to him and his accomplices, all of whom were unethical and dishonest and stealing from their own unit, was private justice. But yes, I understand your anger. So if you think that by torturing me and confining me for a year isn’t penance enough, if you think pushing my boyfriend to a breaking point isn’t punishment enough, then go ahead and pull the trigger.”

 

Clifton’s hands shook and he looked like a man who had just taken a knife in the gut. Sebastian snorted and pulled back, standing to his full height as he looked at the other man in sheer pity. “You wanted me to destroy myself once my boyfriend dies. You thought that if something happens to Jim I will be finished. But what you have done to yourself in your blind rage and vengeance is destroy your own life and future. The cops know now and it’s merely a matter of time before they get to you. Of course, you won’t get capital sentence but they won’t let you get away easily either. Kidnapping, torturing, attempted murder, employing outlaws, there would be several charges pressed against you.”

 

“You think I care?”

 

“Really? You don’t?”

 

“The day I had made up my mind to destroy you, I had accepted that my life will never be the same again.”

 

“Then do what you will. I am not going to kill myself because of Jim. You really think a murderer, a cruel man like me, someone who shoots brains out for a living, could really destroy himself if his little boyfriend dies?”

 

This made Clifton blink. Sebastian huffed out a harsh laughter, “You are naïve. When I was in your custody I lied to you, all my apologies and declarations of love towards Jim were lies. Yes, I do care about him and his wellbeing but not over and above my own. Now that I am out, my freedom is not compromised anymore, I care two hoots about what happens to my former boss.”

 

Sebastian was not going to grant Clifton the satisfaction of breaking him. Even if he shot Sebastian, the blond man was sure Clifton wouldn't have any reason to celebrate. The main motive of his mission was to break and torture Sebastian's soul, not to kill him.

 

It seemed to be working. Hearing Seb's nonchalant, cold tone turned the tables on his abductor and a look of defeat came over the bespectacled man, His hissed, “You filthy selfish bastard!”

 

“Guilty as charged.”

 

“I don’t believe you, you-you-you are lying.”

 

“Then watch me do exactly as I said I’d do. Pull the trigger or watch my flight.”

 

Clifton looked undecided for a moment. Then, as the sounds of the cops surrounding the place grew louder and obvious, he suddenly stepped backwards and shot at the French window, shattering the glass. “I curse you Moran,” he yelled, “I curse you.”

 

The next moment the spot where he was standing was empty. Clifton had jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock is no sweet angel (well, a little but not completely, he has his selfish streak too). He just wants Jim's crazy side curbed and to make London safe from his histrionics again. But can the blue eyed colonel save his kitten or is it too late?


	30. Renuion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is saved, literally by the skin of this teeth (please look at notes below)

Sebastian had fallen asleep in the car. When he woke up, he was greeted by the sight of old James Moriarty sitting exactly at the spot where Sherlock had been sitting when their journey towards London had started.

 

“I am dreaming again,” Sebastian cursed, “Fuck, this isn’t good. Please don’t tell me I shall die soon.”

 

James Sr looked at him with a curious expression, neither angry nor happy, neither sad nor disappointed. Sebastian noticed that the old man was reading some book, a thick book which he slowly closed the moment the blonde had started talking. “Do you remember something son? I told you once before, that the next time we meet it might not be under fortunate circumstances. And the current situation is….well, extremely delicate and risky. You are not going to be dead anytime soon, there are decades ahead of you in fact, but my son….my Jim is not going to last. You had promised to protect him. How could you do that when you’re not even with him?”

 

“I didn’t kidnap myself did I?” Sebastian felt nervous fear start to build in his stomach, “What do you mean Jim won’t last?”

 

“He will pull the trigger.”

 

“Trigger? What? When? How?”

 

“When he stands there, high up, no walls around him, his nemesis in front of him and refusing to relent, his lover only a distant memory, the clock ticking loudly in his head, his past a vague ball of smoke that’s fast fading away, when staying alive becomes so much more hard on him than embracing the blissful silence of death.”

 

“My past caught up with me, I couldn’t help it.”

 

“Then don’t let the past catch up with him. Be there, stop him, help him see hope, only if he sees something worthwhile in the future will he stop. And do trust Sherlock. I didn’t, maybe I should have!”

 

Sebastian hyperventilated.

 

“Gary Chapman,” Moriarty Sr said.

 

“Eh?”

 

“When this is over buy the book. It helps understand the other’s language. Or at least identify your own.”

 

“My Jim’s….our Jim’s life is in danger and you are advising me on some stupid book?”

 

“Sebastian, remember this now and always. When things are crumbling, salt tears won’t do, you need a shield to protect yourself from the rubble and then plaster and bricks and paint to rebuild what’s broken. And broken things are hard to fix. Harder than giving it up and looking for some new, unbroken, unblemished thing. It will take more than a day, a month or even a year to fix it. Each relationship is unique, fix it the only that it should be fixed, make the solution as unique as the problem….”

 

“Sebastian? Colonel Moran? Seb?”

 

As the calls of his name grew louder and pounded in his brain, his vision faded and his Godfather’s figure grew smaller and dimmed away till it was only an abstract outline. Sebastian thrashed about slightly, reaching out to grab the fast disappearing man, when he was stung by a hard slap on his cheek. His eyes flew open just as his hand flew to the spot where he had been hit just now. Nope, it wasn’t dream, it was real and it still stung. He glared daggers at Sherlock who was scowling at him with equal viciousness. “Before you say anything about that slap,” Sherlock said a bit rudely, brows knotted together, “You smacked me three times with that monkey palm of yours before I returned the favor, that too to wake you up. We are in London.”

 

“I…I am sorry about….”

 

“Clifton? He deserved it I guess.”

 

“Gosh, sometimes you sound as nonchalant about death as he does.”

 

“We have lots in common.”

 

“Don’t rub it on my face.”

 

“No, you don’t rub it on my face,” Sherlock retorted, “In the past year have I not seen enough about how lost he is without you? I am his past, but I have no place whatsoever in his present or future. He has truly moved on! I was there all year, right here in London, I could have been someone he could have talked to but he chose not to, simply because he thinks I killed you out of spite. That was strike one. Then he started to come after me, viciously, that was strike two. Final strike, he wants me dead because you are dead. And you say, don’t rub it on my face? FUCK YOU.”

 

Sebastian raised a hand and looked away, “Sorry. I am a bit disoriented, not sure what I am talking about…..sorry. Also….sorry about knocking you out when I went after Clifton.”

 

“It’s okay…..by the way, he wants to see me on Barts rooftop.”

 

“Hospital? Why? Is he injured?’

 

“No, not that I know of. Listen, we have to do something. The next hour will decide which way this shall go and Mycroft is watching.”

 

Sebastian was a quick thinker and used to making lightning decisions on the run. A spark of sincerity in the detective’s voice made him decide on the spot as to which way he would go. “All right,” he said, “Tell me what to do.”

 

***

 

Sherlock entered the rooftop, acutely aware of at least a hundred pairs of eyes on them. Most of them were Mycroft’s men or Moriarty’s men, some were the assassins from various powerful mafia houses of the world, looking for ‘the code’ and some were Moriarty’s rivals and enemies. They were all there, other rooftops, windows of taller building, on those choppers suspiciously doing the rounds above, some even watching through cameras that had been concealed carefully in and around the place. He drank in the sight of Jim at first, the small but imposing man sitting on the ledge in a magnetic blue suit and an overcoat in a darker shade of blue. His hairs were slicked back and he was minus his usual designer shades, giving Sherlock an unobstructed view of his beautifully arched brows and those piercing dark eyes.

 

“Jim…..”

 

It was a simple word, barely whispered, and the criminal jumped up and launched a tirade at Sherlock. His phone, which was ironically ringing with the same Bee Gees song of ‘Staying Alive’ that Sherlock had heard a few times before, remained unanswered and ignored. Sherlock interjected a few words here and there, carefully observing Jim and strategically continuing the conversation, one of his hands concealed behind him where he held a small phone. On that phone he had a live call running with Sebastian listening in on the other end. As Jim got more and more unhinged, his words and mannerisms bordering on the wild and explosive, Sherlock only hoped that Sebastian’s timing was correct and his aim perfect.

 

Then things get worse. Jim wants him to jump. Either he does that or John, Mrs. Hudson and DI Lestrade would be shot dead.

 

Sherlock can no longer play his game. He calls out with desperation in his voice, “Why do you want to kill my friends? You can just pull the trigger on me.”

 

“Call it vanity, call it victory, a victory of my manipulative ways over your angelic, holier than thou shit, whatever it is, you are going to pay for what you did to my Sebastian.”

 

“Sebastian is alive.”

“NOOO, don’t fucking lie to me. You are so mediocre, so weak, you’re lying about a dead man just to stay alive yourself? Coward!”

 

“A coward you loved.”

 

The argument went on, Jim asking Sherlock repeatedly to jump and Sherlock eventually saying that he wouldn’t, since there was a recall code for the snipers, when suddenly Jim hissed at Sherlock. “As long as I am alive you can save your friends, you have a way out. Well, good luck with that!”

 

Sherlock had not foreseen that at all. A revolver was suddenly in Jim’s hands, his mouth was opened wide and everything around them came to a complete standstill. Sherlock felt sick to the stomach and weak in the knees as he instinctively pulled back a little, in fear and shock. Jim was going to die, he had failed to save Jim, too late, Jim was going to die and so was he.

 

A sudden pinging sound came, dull and vibrating, and Jim’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. His grip on Sherlock’s hand, which he had taken to shake a while ago in his moment of madness, slackened and let go. The detective watched with horrified eyes as Jim groaned with pain and crumpled in a heap on the floor, fingers twitching slightly as his head lolled to one side. He wanted to kneel down and scoop him up, kiss him, check on him and take him to emergency care right away, but all of those things were precisely what he couldn’t afford to do. There were too many eyes on him, way too many. Then there were the snipers. More lives were in danger. He had to hold it together.

 

“Oh Jimmy,” he let out a choked sob.

 

Blood was oozing out from Jim’s head.

 

Sherlock took a shuddering, deep breath and called John.

 

***

 

“How is he? Tell me? Tell me the truth damn it.”

 

Sebastian placed his hands flat on Sherlock’s chest and gently pushed him away from himself as the detective, now cleaned up and stable again after faking his death, cornered Sebastian in the Barts morgue.

 

“By seeing me so calm you should have guessed,” his voice was unusually gentle, “Jim is alive but injured. Nothing fatal but it is mildly serious because it’s an injury of the head and the roof of the mouth. I kept waiting for you to bring him over to the side, behind the water tank, so I could show my face and he would stop this madness instantly, but you guys kept circling each other right out there on the edge, in the open. Believe me, we would have lost him had it not been for the gun he chose to carry with himself today.”

 

“I tried, really.”

 

“I know you did. You played your part Sherlock.”

 

“The gun….how did he….what happened there?”

 

“Blanks. I had loaded all his guns with blanks because of his suicidal tendencies. He never uses guns anyways, someone else pulls the trigger for him, so I knew he would be none the wiser when he carries one with himself. It seems he didn’t figure things out and….”

 

“And fired a blank in his mouth? Then why is he injured?”

 

Sebastian smiled wistfully, “I guess when disaster is averted, someone has to take a small blow for it at least. A blank is still a very powerful blow if used in close range. Fire a blank at me from two feet away and I shall be fine. Press it on my chest and fire and I will be bruised, maybe even have a slight cracked rib. He fired it in his mouth, injured the roof of it and it reverberated in his skull, shaking it up. Subsequently he fell and hit his head, injuring himself that way. But Molly organized a scan and a proper MRI and there is no internal or permanent damage.”

 

Sherlock relaxed visibly, “He’ll be fine?”

 

“When he comes to, if he remembers it all and speaks normally, then yeah.”

 

“I still can’t believe he wanted me to die.”

 

“Trust me Sherlock, even I had no idea how much he cared about me. As for you, are you going to tell him that….”

 

Sherlock peered through the gap in the door into the room behind the morgue, where Jim was being treated in secret. “I told you my plans Seb. I need to leave soon. Just….just text me when he wakes up okay? I….I don’t think…I am not sure….okay this is proving to be harder than I thought. Sebastian, take him and go away far from here. I managed to be the angel this time but the next time this happens, if this happens, I will fight just as hard for my side as he fought for his.”

 

Sebastian nodded in silence. He understood.

 

“I hate you,” Sherlock said with a completely blank expression, “You are disgusting.”

 

Sebastian understood the angst. He took it in silence.

 

Sherlock’s footsteps faded away in the distance and Sebastian slowly entered Jim’s treatment room, sitting down on a stool next to the bed. Jim had stitches on the roof of his mouth and the side of his head. In a week or two he would be fine, the doctor had assured.

 

Now the only thing left to do was to wait for him to wake up.

 

***

 

“Owwww why thoes ith hurth thoo speak and moof my head,” Jim slurred, tears escaping the corners of his eyes as Sebastian and a nurse soothed him and helped him readjust his position on the soft pillow.

 

“That’s what happens when you fire bullets in your mouth you doofus,” Sebastian said lovingly, crying against his will, holding Jim’s smaller hands in his own, “Now don’t speak and just listen to me. I have already told you what happened to me and how I got here. Now I shall tell you what we’re about to do next. By next I mean as soon as the doctor allows you to leave this place.”

 

Jim nodded and winced, regretting the movement instantly. But the pain passed as soon as it had come and he relaxed again, this time acknowledging the words with a blink of his eyelids. He was doing much better than the evening before, when he had slowly come to about six hours since the rooftop mishap. He had looked disoriented and dazed on waking up and soon turned violent, leading to the doctor asking for a shot of tranquilizer to be administered. But Sebastian had intervened and showed himself to Jim, spoken soothing words softly into his ears as Jim listened, once again in a daze or a trance, his eyes open and blank. It was only the movement of his eyeballs that indicated he was hearing all that Sebastian had begun to narrate. Now Jim remembered it all, which indicated no brain damage and normal functionality of the memory system.

 

“One week,” Sebastian went on, “One week and the stitches will be off. Some will dissolve, the others will be taken out by a simple painless one second procedure of suture removal. By then further tests would have determined if your stupidity has left behind some side effects or not. If all is found to be well, we are leaving this country. We shall settle in Australia, a nice seaside town where I have acquired a property for both of us, an architect designed bespoke six-bedroom beach house with a courtyard, a backyard pool, a kitchen garden and a barbeque area. It’s got panoramic views of the ocean and the woods behind from every room.”

 

Jim stared at him, nonplussed.

 

“Golf courses, surfing academy, nice variety of world cuisine, shopping, nature walk, pretty beaches, name it and the town has it. And it’s only an hour and half from Sydney.”

 

Jim kept staring at him like a lifeless doll. Seb was getting uncomfortable now. Did he not want this? Was he not getting it at all? “Jim, my job is to protect you. I am doing this for you.” He couldn’t fend off the desperation from his voice anymore.

 

No reaction.

 

“Guess the name of the place,” Sebastian tried again, grinning broadly even though tears had started to gather in his eyes. If Jim got stubborn and stayed back, Mycroft would put him in an institution for sure. He sniffled slightly and said, “Killcare. New South Wales.”

 

Jim finally smiled and blinked again. Then he mumbled something softly and Sebastian was forced to come within inches of his lover’s face to hear the words. When he heard them he cried again, this time in joy. They made his day, in fact they made his life.

 

“I’ll g’ wher’ver you athk me thoo go Thebathian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe there is no really convincing way to save a man who shot himself through the mouth, aside from a miracle or a 'blank'. Chose a blank this time :) because i love my boys too much. 
> 
> Epilogue after this chapter and our journey on this fic will come to a conclusion. Thanks a lot for reading, kudos, comments and discussions!


	31. Epilogue - As the years go by

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's POV of their idyllic, content retired life in Killcare

When I look back at the last five years of my life I wonder sometimes if I had really gone through so much and lived to tell the tale, my sanity as intact as my limbs are. Anyone would think I had survived much worse while at war but no, the last five years as a civilian were far more tumultuous than that. At least at war you know what to expect and you know you might just not make it, in civilian life you tend to assume you’ll grow old and today would be as mundane as yesterday.

 

Well, civilian life took me a long time to adjust to, just as Jim took a long time to adjust to a life where he was in a relationship with someone other than his own ego and brains.

 

From the time I had met my Godfather and made a vow to him, I feel I have been to hell several times and back. But the worst hell was that one year of confinement, solitary confinement, when I had no idea where I was and if I would ever see Jim again. When that ended and I managed to sneak out of England with my kitten, my Jimmy, I finally, effectively, closed doors on all such hells and sailed away towards a destination that finally held some promise of a peaceful, content future. I had deliberately chosen a ship instead of a flight. The one month it took us to reach, Jim fully recovered and we got time to reacquaint ourselves with each other.

 

We needed those endless chats we had about the year we had been forced to spend apart, Jim’s genuine regret about the way he had treated Sherlock, the unfortunate death of Albert, Irene’s exile to the United States, Mary going missing completely and the web that Jim had abandoned for this new life.

 

Those chats brought us closer and gave us a new sense of togetherness. We had ridden roughshod over minefields and still survived instead of being blown up.

 

It wasn’t always easy during the voyage. On some nights when Jim would try to strangulate me in my sleep. There were afternoons when he just couldn’t stop crying. There were some days when he was all edgy and jumpy and ready to bounce off the walls of our cabin.

 

But we managed. And we reached Sydney on time.

 

The next hurdle was when we settled down in that lovely beach house. Jim approved of the place and the house, the cars and the seaplane I had bought for us, but something kept bothering him. He refused to talk to me about that for two whole weeks.

 

Then he blurted out, ‘We don’t have sex anymore’.

 

Well, I had held myself back thinking he didn’t want it. _Same old Jim, unpredictable!_

 

For the next few days all we did was have sex. We did it everywhere, from the beach to the rooftop to the hammock to the pool and we christened every single room in the house. He wore me out. My head felt heavy and I was hungry all the time, my legs ached and I had a muscle pull on my back. But Jim was insatiable. Somehow even I kept up with his stamina till, about a week later, I realized that the sneaky bastard had been powdering the little blue pill and mixing it with our morning tea (which I now understand why he so graciously offered to brew).

 

We have the daily sex rule still, at least once and sometime even more, but the damned blue pill is banned from the house. Maybe twenty years later we might need it but as of now, no point in going overboard.

 

Keeping Jim occupied and engaged, not letting him slide into boredom, that became my full time job after that. We had enough and more money so we didn’t need to do regular jobs. While that was a relief it was also a problem, since the days seemed really long with no real tasks to accomplish. But before Jim became unhinged due to the ennui surrounding him in these idyllic conditions, I managed to push ourselves into new avenues. Jim took an avid interest in golf and dirt biking while I started immersing myself in the art of surfing and sailing. I also enrolled myself in cooking classes and started to prepare healthy, delicious meals in the evening while Jim began to learn and perfect the piano again, eventually enthralling me with his ‘compositions’ while I cooked.

 

I admit no Bothans died in the whole process of King Jim learning new tricks. Though he did threaten to turn a woman into a purse when she beat him at a golfing game (but eventually just blew up the golf cart minutes before she was due to sit in it).

 

One evening, as we lay in a single hammock, Jim nestled in my arms and dozing, we saw a couple walk past. Same sex couple like us. One tall and blond, the other shorter than him with dark hairs, they walked hand in hand and spoke in some European language. I thought it as Danish, Jim thought it was Finnish.

 

“I always thought you will leave me Tiger,” Jim spoke in a voice so small it broke my heart.

 

“And I always thought you will toss me out arse first one day,” I voiced my fears aloud too.

 

“I was stupid and impulsive wasn’t I?”

 

That was such a blatant self-realization and admission of the truth that I couldn’t stop the gasp from bubbling out of my lips. I raised my head to look at him, hoping he was well. “You had your issues then but they’re gone now….”

 

“No,” he moaned, “Not all of them. Sebby….”

 

“Yes love?”

 

“I am ready to go to that shrink now.”

 

I had suggested this six months into our stay there and he had burned my forearm with a red-hot tong from the barbeque. Now the same man, three months later, was asking me to find a shrink for him. I smiled, because I had long realized that Jim Moriarty did everything h was told, only when it was he who was taking the decision to do it. One had to be patient and wait for that moment.

 

It’s a different matter that in a month’s time the shrink was taking therapy from Jim.

 

But seriously, after two years here in Killercare, I feel Jim is a changed man. Not vastly changed, not a pale shadow of his former self, but sufficiently altered to adapt to this life and to become kinder towards himself and the world. He trusts me now, which is a beautiful thing, and for the first time in many years I have the freedom to go and meet friends I have made. I admit there are still mornings when he wakes up washed over with a tremendous itch to commit a crime, to do something terrible and ghastly and gory, to blow something to smithereens, but that’s not something a hot breakfast, a hotter shag and a quick trip to his laboratory won’t cure.

 

Ah, his lab.

 

He keeps working on different experiments. Chemical, mechanical, pharmaceutical, he goes the whole nine yards. He is close to discovering a testing system to detect cancer genes years before the disease actually appears. He has found a medicine to partially cure Parkinson. He has even found a rare chemical that, when administered in small doses becomes a truth drug and if administered beyond a certain dose cause a death very similar to fuel doused self-immolation.

 

One day he asked me why I love him.

 

Funny, I had no particular answer. I limped for a few days because he nearly broke my shins but I gave him back a punch this time. Since then he doesn’t get so careless with his hitting tendencies around me.

 

Later I explained to him that my lack of answer wasn’t lack of reasons but too many reasons to pack in one short, coherent reply.

 

He kissed the spot where my shins were still bruised.

 

_God, I love him so much!_

 

When we make love he looks like a debauched angel bathed in the dim lights of our house, all golden honeyed skin and flushed cheeks, rumpled hairs and those huge lashes casting myriad shadows over his cheekbones. He looks like a work of art. And as I possess him, kiss him, make him scream out my name and then watch him come apart under my assault, it makes me feel even better than those moments when I rose to power in the army, those bloody but glorious moments in battle.

 

And that’s saying something.

 

Jim’s dad visited me once, or maybe I dreamt of him once. If he is a ghost, then I have to confess he’s not the least bit scary.

 

I was lying on the couch one afternoon, it was raining outside and Jim was fast asleep on top of me when the old man showed up, suddenly seated on a rocking chair next to the window.

 

 _“You have to stop doing this sir,”_ I said, careful not to wake Jimmy.

 

“You have done well,” he replied without looking at me, his gaze on the ocean visible through the huge French windows that open out into our courtyard and the beach beyond, “I had expected worse, much worse. You got him under control within a reasonable time and without too much damage.” He stopped and turned his head and I had to blink, he looked blurry or was I sleepy, I didn’t know. “Sebastian Moran, I release you from the unwritten contract we had between us. From here on, do what your heart tells you and go where your dreams take you.”

 

“No,” I felt a bit annoyed, “You can’t do that. What about Jim?”

 

“What about my Jim? What about my little boy?”

 

“Little? He is quite a handful.”

 

“More than. But admit it, you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

“Then why are you asking me to abandon him?”

 

“I didn’t. I am asking you to follow your heart and your dreams. By now you are so umbilically attached, he will follow you wherever you go. I am not worried about that any longer.” With that he got up and I saw a really serene look on his face, “Our past moves with us Sebastian, just as our present moves out of our grasp and our future shoves us into unknown realms. Your lives won’t be trouble free, you guys have caused enough trouble to earn that bit, but you can avoid adding to that backlog. Move on, keep him happy, be happy, seize the day, one day at a time.”

 

“Wait,” I almost got up and Jim groaned and hissed, forcing me to lie down again, “You are not going away are you?”

 

“You may not see me again.”

 

_//Oh, so that’s why he was literally fading away. Talk about visual metaphors//_

 

“Oh is it? Your job here is done, that’s why?”

 

“No, I am just in your head now, that’s why.”

 

“Mr. Moriarty sir….”

 

Then I opened my eyes and saw myself on the rug covered floor, Jim snarling at me and lying next to me, cursing me for making us both fall.

 

I would have been sure it was a dream had I not noticed that darn rocking chair ‘rocking’ slightly. But then, it could have been the wind. The windows were open after all.

 

One day I heard from one of my contacts that Sherlock, while dismantling ‘Moriarty’s web’, was somewhere in the Far East. “He wants to see Jim once,” he said, “What should I tell him Colonel Moran?”

 

I looked at Jim, beaming after a conference call in which he had been informed that one of his patented creations had been accepted by Nasa and another by the World Health Organization, and instantly my mind was made up. Jim was doing well, I was doing well, we were doing fine here. Sherlock didn’t make me insecure anymore but that brother of his didn’t inspire my devotion or confidence in me. Someone who could send his own brother into exile, a dangerous exile, for two years and have him declared dead, what was a Jim Moriarty to him? No, I couldn’t let Sherlock know where we were, who we were and what we were up to.

 

No crimes being committed here, who needs a detective?

 

“Tell him Jim Moriarty died on Barts rooftop two years ago and Sebastian Moran disappeared a year before that.”

 

“Oh….”

 

“Do you understand me?”

 

“Yes sir, yes I do. Is that all?”

 

“Just add….London is his territory now. Good luck to him!”

 

I put down the receiver and immediately felt a nudge on my shoulder. I froze. I recognized that touch.

 

“Jim!!!”

 

Jim grinned at me, no mania visible in his eyes but a certain wickedness playing there. “I think you did the right thing Sebby. While I would like to apologize to him for hounding him to death’s door, I more than made up for it by passing on information on my web for him to take it down in parts. We don’t owe each other anything further.”

 

“Then why are you grinning?” I asked, “What’s the catch?”

 

“I never liked John.”

 

“I didn’t get you.”

 

“Guess where Mary is?”

 

“Where?”

 

“In John’s house. They live together now.”

 

I must have looked hideously confused because Jim smacked me on the rump and added, “Too bad that can’t be changed now. Just a parting gift from James Moriarty.” Then a high-pitched laughter followed, then a whispered, “I feel like skinny dipping in the ocean. Could you protect me from prying eyes and horny old bitches who frequent these waters during tourist season?”

 

Haha, as if he needs protection! Even in retirement he is as helpless a wolf in a sheepfold. Besides, let me tell you a secret, the little bitch enjoys the attention and then moans about it. But that's the side of him I love, that intrigues me, that makes me wonder 'How on earth can he.....'. Can't complain of something I enjoy so much!

 

"Bastiaaaan," he whined, annoyed by my silence.

 

“I have to,” I replied, still reeling from the Mary revelation, “I am the protector after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks and goodbye from this universe. Was a great journey and loved sharing it with all of you. But Mormor is not over yet, I will start a new series on them soon!


End file.
